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RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/7/2007 7:20:02 AM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Low self - esteem is the key word here in my opinion.i think unhappy people tend to lash out to others, regardless of what is making them unhappy. Certain triggers cause those responses and we all have them regardless of our body size, intelligence level, education, career sucess, relationships, etc.
 
My answer is yes, for those that allow it to affect them that way - and if all were honest they would admit to atleast one occaison whether on these forums or in life where their perception of themselves affected their self -esteem to the point of lashing out ( whether passive or aggressive). And as ashamed as i am to admit it - i will. How i feel about myself affects how i treat others ( or atleast how strong the inner battle for tolerance is)  It is human nature...
and only my opinion...

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(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/7/2007 7:04:17 PM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		# 1 - In part, this has to be at least the funniest fat thread I have read on CM to date...at the same time, it's also pretty sad to me that the OP started this thread in the first place. The presumptuous nature of the original question is, in a word, insulting.

#2 - It's also interesting to me that the vast majority of fat ppl (or overweight, large-sized, big...whatever you may prefer to be called) who respond to threads like this one tend to be female...there were a couple fat men who had something to say, but by and LARGE (pun intended) it's us women. And by interesting I mean to say that at the end of the day, or the end of the thread, whichever comes last, it seems to mostly be we women who feel like we have to defend ourselves...(or set the record straight, however one chooses to perceive it.)

#3 - Of course another way to look at that is to suggest that perhaps, on the other hand, we fat women are just braver, stronger and more articulate than our male counterparts....

#4 - Or, perhaps, they (the men) simply don't get attacked and/or ridiculed for being fat as often, or in quite the same way, as we do and therefore never feel a need to self-defend.

At any rate, this is not the first time we've seen this type of thread and mark my words, it certainly will not be the last. Maybe CM should just create a Fat People board, that way all the threads could be centrally located.


MNN

(Oh, I'm sorry, was that lashing out?)

(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/8/2007 10:17:46 AM   
RobertCloud


Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		I have been overweight most of my life and all of my adult life. My issues with low self-esteem actually are non-existent. I am happy with the way I am. Now I am perfectly aware that there are others that will look at me and make comments and that are rude, often it makes me angry, sometimes when it is a child it makes me sad that the child has not been taught better and angry as hell at the parents for not teaching the child any manners about not being rude, and yet when it is a child in innocence I will walk up to them and tell them, "No sweetie, I am training to become the next Santa when Santa is ready to retire." I get a lot of laughs and giggles from the little children then and make a lot of friends, even have a few really young ones pull on my beard.

In truth I am an arrogant asshole at times and have even told people thank you when they have pointed that fact out to me. It does not really bother me what people think of me, my appearance or my attitude.

I once weighed 475 pounds, I am now down to 345 and am still losing an average of 2 pounds a week.

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RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/9/2007 6:29:12 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName

# 1 - In part, this has to be at least the funniest fat thread I have read on CM to date...at the same time, it's also pretty sad to me that the OP started this thread in the first place. The presumptuous nature of the original question is, in a word, insulting.


It got people thinking of thier stereotypes and preconceptions now didn't it?

This is a thinking person's relationship.

Ross
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Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/9/2007 6:31:29 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RobertCloud

Now I am perfectly aware that there are others that will look at me and make comments and that are rude, often it makes me angry, sometimes when it is a child it makes me sad that the child has not been taught better and angry as hell at the parents for not teaching the child any manners about not being rude,


Thank you very much.

Teach your children well.

Would like to hear from more men on this subject that are overweight.

Ross
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Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/9/2007 6:33:21 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dawntreader

Low self - esteem is the key word here in my opinion.i think unhappy people tend to lash out to others, regardless of what is making them unhappy. Certain triggers cause those responses and we all have them regardless of our body size, intelligence level, education, career sucess, relationships, etc.


Yes it might be thought to be low self esteem rather than wieght issue but it would seem if something is causing what brings unhappiness and self worthlessness it should be considered.

So what other things besides weight bring on low self esteem?

Ross
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(in reply to dawntreader)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/9/2007 6:34:58 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: quietkitten

Wow.. you are really looking for a fight aren't ya?

No, discussion is what is sought here.

So might stress bring out lashing out or low self esteem?

Ross
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Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/9/2007 6:36:51 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirlWhat about those of us who were angry when we were skinny? I didn't become overweight until after high school but I have had anger issues and self esteem issues since I was a little girl.



Good point.

So does one just lash out and become less tolerant of those not sharing the same viewpoint as lashers?

Just it give them vindication of sorts?

It is a way of building up low self esteme?

Is the low self esteem given to suffering under the guise of BDSM?

Ross
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(in reply to GeekyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/9/2007 6:39:36 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


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Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: azzmaster
 women of color r not as affected by being overweight cause we brothas like our thick girls, but white women in particular all see to feel they should be a size 3.


I have noticed this in My limited observance in public and social settings.

There is the preconception that they all need to look like cover girls.

If there were not money to be made from cosmetics, clothing and services would this myth be perpetuated by the financial merchants and advertisers?

In Ruben's time women of paintings were on the comfortable side.

Ross
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Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/9/2007 6:58:43 AM   
KeirasSecret


Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline
quote:

Does being overweight influence the low self esteem and hence the lashing out at people being overly critical and flaming others in the forums??


Nope, I'm not overweight. Maybe 110 soaking wet.

Oh wait, I haven’t flamed anyone either. Can I get back to you on this?

Be well,

< Message edited by KeirasSecret -- 3/9/2007 6:59:26 AM >

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RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/9/2007 10:25:05 AM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		this was a good thread. i like when people post something that interests them even though they know some people will just flame... not giving into peer group pressure... big up

(in reply to KeirasSecret)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/9/2007 12:55:35 PM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressNoName

# 1 - In part, this has to be at least the funniest fat thread I have read on CM to date...at the same time, it's also pretty sad to me that the OP started this thread in the first place. The presumptuous nature of the original question is, in a word, insulting.


It got people thinking of their stereotypes and preconceptions now didn't it?

This is a thinking person's relationship.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©


Sir,

If your intention was to challenge stereotypes and encourage re-thinking, then it probably would've been a better tactic NOT to put ppl (fat ppl) on the defensive but rather to invite open and honest dialogue from a less presumptuous, and frankly, a less passively-aggressive stance.

Your methodology seems to be to rile people up, elicit a strong response and then attempt to placate those who disagree with your approach. Further, you seem to enjoy justifying your approach as an appropriate means to an end. It is not, in my opinion.

MNN

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Does being overweight influence the low self esteem... - 3/10/2007 2:53:46 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: azzmaster

this was a good thread. i like when people post something that interests them even though they know some people will just flame... not giving into peer group pressure... big up


I do believe there is a difference between intellectual difference and social inappropriate behaviour don't you?

Discussion and discourse is good for the mind.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to azzmaster)
Profile   Post #: 93
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