quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I've asked (twice this week), and been told: "You will find all that out when you arrive".

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ORIGINAL: sublizzie

I have met some wonderful Dominants. One of them has been a mentor to me (no he's not in it for free sex). One of the first lessons he told me was that a Dominant who was truly interested in me would give me all of the information I needed to be able to check them out. Another of those lessons was to *always* make the Dominant come to me. I'm much safer being in my own territory than in theirs. One of the lessons I learned through his behavior was that a Dominant will pay your way, even if he doesn't have a lot of money. When I've gone against those lessons I've been burned so they have become part of my requirements of a Dominant. I know it's better and safer for me if I keep to the lesson plan.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
Aileen:  I can possibly see your point but - It was fun!! It was interesting for the past 9 weeks, at least I thought it was. I was completely sold, until I really stateted thinking  about what was missing, as far as information here.I asked for this information, btw, about 3 weeks into our intial e-mailing and phoning - he just kept playing it cool and putting me off. I very was excited, and looking forward to the trip. LA and I were even planning to go to a play party in Austin next Saturday night and everything. I was that sold. I am way too nice. I am not stupid (I am in Mensa) I am just too nice. I am also usually expecting the best until someone proves I can't expect it anymore.

I didn't ask him for "house rules" - in fact I thought the request was rather off, and it freaked me out a little that he had us in a 24-7 when we hadn't even met yet. I mentiioned in passing. I thought some Dominants seemed to make made spur-of-the-moment rules, without having gotten to know their submissive and asked what he thought of that (a legit question, btw). I also let him know I wanted to take things slow and get to know eachother - maybe he thought that was a way to get to know me, I dunno (if so I can see where there may have been a possible mis-understanding. I guess).

I was with my ex-Dominant for over a year, before his temper got hold of him one night; his behavior was a total and compete anomaly (except for a dysfucntional family history.  Hell  - I've got one, too - a lot less severe than his was, maybe - but - isn't everyone's family-of-origin slightly dysfunctional? I don't knwo anyone who comes from a 100% perfect "Leave it to Beaver family" - here at CM or anywhere else. Think it couldn't happen to you? Think again. It happens to a lot of people, I am guessing. But you could be right.

- Susan

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO


I have done it to myself all morning. You're not saying anything to me I haven't already said to myself, darlin' - especially this morning. I am not trying to hurt your feelings either. Just sayin.' Dont like it - don't read it.

- Susan

quote:

you woke up knowing everything there is to know about life

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO



The confusing part here, to me is:
He really does seem trustworthy as far as being reasonable, nice and mild-mannered, etc. when we talk on the phone and e-mail.

Susan, please don't take this wrong, but.... so did Jeffery Domer. I took a chance when i moved out here to be with Viper, He had no problem giving me his driver licence number, first and last name, his social, anything i asked for so i could do a background check and make sure he was who he said he was and wasn't a convicted fellon. If you choose to go, please set up safe calls for your own safety.

Sincerely,
bluelace_V
(property of Viper_001)

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ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I don't have a single person in my life that I talk to this about. 
She has a history of creating self centered drama here all for attention.
She's not looking for knowledge...she's looking for approval.  Big difference.
She made a comment that if I didn't like the thread to not respond.  I commented that if she didn't like the responses then don't post in a public forum. 

Edited to add...I would have had more respect for Susan had she started a thread that said I'm angry, sad and disappointed.  I trusted someone and they let me down.  Instead she starts a thread that only takes common sense to see the answer... all for the poor susan responses.  And I'm getting flamed for not jumping on the Poor Susan fanclub bandwagon???  I've had a lot of shit happen to me in my two years here and you know what?  You don't hear about it because I deal with it on my own as does a lot of people.  I stand by my original response to her.  She has a history of making poor choices based on the info that she has disclosed over the past year.  I just pointed that out.  I most certainly don't live in a perfect world, but I don't live my dramas out on the message boards either.

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speak of their past. The help is needed NOW on the present situation.

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ORIGINAL: eroticangel
What good does it do to belittle a person when they are feeling down??? Some of us need the release we are afforded here. If we don't agree, fine....but there is absolutely no reason to put someone down and speak of their past. The help is needed NOW on the present situation.

Just my thoughts,
roe