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RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 7:56:20 PM   
Invictus754


Posts: 521
Joined: 12/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam
This doesn't make him any less a Dom...or a man. It means he's human...just like you. 
Actually, in my book, it does make him less of a man.   And obviously he is nothing like me, thank you for asking.

quote:

You're impossing your definitions of what a Dom does onto the situation. Maybe he wants different things out of his relationship than you want from yours. Maybe he drives all day for his job and enjoys just riding as a passenger every now and then.
Of course I am imposing my own definitions.  Exactly how am I supposed to impose someone else's definitions?

quote:

This isn't a bad thing, either. Very few people know exactly what they want in a relationship. It takes trial and error such as this to figure things out. And even then, things aren't written in stone. Now, he know what he needs steady contact to be initiated by the submissive in order to be fulfilled.
Negative.  Very bad thing.  If he doesn't know what he wants, then why is he out fishing for something?  To me, he is an imposter, not a Dom.  His whole tone was whiny and "oh, dear me, what do I do?" (if you can imagine that in a nasal twangy whine)  He asked for advice, and I set the scene for him to grow a pair.  Men thrive in an adverse environment.  If I didn't challenge him to grow a pair, he'd be putting on a pink tutu soon and turning in his WalMart DomCard.

quote:

This is not helpful to anyone. It seems that this situation has pushed some of your own buttons. Perhaps you have been where he is or you fear that you will be one day. A little compassion can go a long way.
Master Fire
Your opinion, and you are welcome to it.  On the contrary, no hot buttons have been pushed on my part.  I am just giving the advice a real man would appreciate and the OP asked for.  Notice, I gave the solution he needs to move forward.  No sub is worth weeks of crawling around like a mangy dog, hoping for a scrap. 

_____________________________

You never know your limits, until you push them
If slavery is a gift, the Africans were pretty fucking generous in the 1700 and 1800s, weren't they?

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 7:59:15 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Invictus754
I am just giving the advice a real man would appreciate and the OP asked for.  Notice, I gave the solution he needs to move forward.  No sub is worth weeks of crawling around like a mangy dog, hoping for a scrap. 


perhaps the "real men" you hang out with are different than the "real men" some of the rest of us hang out with, then?

you could have easily given that solution without being inflammatory. not everyone with a dick thrives in an adverse environment. :) that's a very, very narrow definition of masculinity.

(in reply to Invictus754)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:03:11 PM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline 		When i was seeing a dom a couple of years back, i had a full time job, an 80 year old mother to tend to, and a 16 year old son.  Needless to say, my time was not my own til about 11PM.  The dom asked me what time would be good for me to talk on a daily basis.....i said 11.....well that might as well have been written in stone.  Come hell or high water, we were talking at 11.  If i was pretty tired, we might only talk 5 or 10 minutes, but it was his way of connecting on a daily basis.  And it was an expectation of his....and any breach of that resulted in punishment.
 
YOU need to set the parameters....within what is reasonable with her schedule too.  And if she wants to submit, then she needs to follow the rules...or else! (lol)   But if you don't set the parameters, and she just goes about her business until she can find time for you, and there are no consequences....then where does the D/s come into the picture? 
 
Daddysgirl

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:03:23 PM   
Invictus754


Posts: 521
Joined: 12/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

you could have easily given that solution without being inflammatory. not everyone with a dick thrives in an adverse environment. :) that's a very, very narrow definition of masculinity.


I am sure that some didn't think it was inflammatory - just the ones with sensitive skin.
 
My definition of masculinity got humans to the top of the food chain.  If it has worked so far, why try to fix it? :)

_____________________________

You never know your limits, until you push them
If slavery is a gift, the Africans were pretty fucking generous in the 1700 and 1800s, weren't they?

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:05:32 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		ok bolt action, jack a round in the chamber and blow her ass out of it.

Sgt Rock

I aint joking


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:09:26 PM   
boltaction


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline 		Invictus is being a dick, but his heart is in the right place. Could have been better worded either way.


Oh yeah, fuck you for calling me an imposter, jackass.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:12:12 PM   
Invictus754


Posts: 521
Joined: 12/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boltaction

Invictus is being a dick, but his heart is in the right place. Could have been better worded either way.

Oh yeah, fuck you for calling me an imposter, jackass.


THAT'S the spirit!  See, it WORKS!  Now, if you can only muster the courage to say that to your little friend, my magic has worked.
 
You can thank me later for saving you from the pink tutu.
(Unless, of course your new "girlfriend" wants to see you in the tutu...then you are totally in the toe-shoes, too, I am sure.)

< Message edited by Invictus754 -- 3/8/2007 8:14:37 PM >

_____________________________

You never know your limits, until you push them
If slavery is a gift, the Africans were pretty fucking generous in the 1700 and 1800s, weren't they?

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:15:20 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP:  Has she given you her home phone number or told you where she lives? She could be hiding something, she could be doing "The Rules" (a dating book that advises women to rarely return calls, be hard to get, always leave the man wanting more). .It could be alot of things, so without more information, I can't really say for sure.

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:17:45 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Invictus754

(Unless, of course your new "girlfriend" wants to see you in the tutu...then you are totally in the toe-shoes, too, I am sure.)

Heh heh

(in reply to Invictus754)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:22:37 PM   
pissdoll


Posts: 343
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

she could be doing "The Rules" (a dating book that advises women to rarely return calls, be hard to get, always leave the man wanting more). .



i'm thinking more of the book "He's not that into you."  except in this case, it's a she.  when you really like someone, you want to spend time with him/her, rules be damned.  i don't think he should contact her again.  i think he should move on. 

< Message edited by pissdoll -- 3/8/2007 8:23:06 PM >

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:22:42 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		And now we know who he is talking about too...........





_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:27:32 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: Invictus754

quote:

ORIGINAL: boltaction
For the last 6 months we were emailing each other back and forth, talking about meeting up but never doing so. She cancelled meeting me 3 times in the past for various (good) reasons, and finally last Saturday said that she could give me her entire day...

I call her back and she doesn't answer. I get a text later saying she's sorry but she passed out while helping a friend cook (from being tired)...

Note: She admitted she loves discipline spankings... and maybe she wants me to have an excuse. She is also very, very busy and works two jobs...

This week I've been trying to contact her and on monday she told me she thinks of me every night.... but why doesn't she maintain contact?

Dude, she is totally PLAYING you.

This doesn't make him any less a Dom...or a man. It means he's human...just like you.
 
quote:

quote:

Right before I got out of her car...

WAIT...YOU didn't drive?  Did you at least ride in the back and make it look like you were being chauffeured?  Or did you ride up front like you were her "boyfriend"?  (Oh!  I should've read till the end)

You're impossing your definitions of what a Dom does onto the situation. Maybe he wants different things out of his relationship than you want from yours. Maybe he drives all day for his job and enjoys just riding as a passenger every now and then.

quote:

quote:

I want to be her dom AND her boyfriend but I won't put up with this.
Ok... I don't appreciate it... but I will let you get away with it.

Sounds like you don't know what you want.

This isn't a bad thing, either. Very few people know exactly what they want in a relationship. It takes trial and error such as this to figure things out. And even then, things aren't written in stone. Now, he know what he needs steady contact to be initiated by the submissive in order to be fulfilled.

quote:

quote:

Either way, it's aggravating and makes me look bad to have to call her every time.


Seriously, you don't have to call her.  Really.  You are supposed to be the Dom, not a lovesick puppy.
 
You sound like a smitten 17 year old.  Use the balls you have (if you have any left) and call the bitch and tell her that if she doesn't call you back by the end of the day, the next time you see her the paddling will be with a wooden paddle with nails in it - then wait for her to call you.  With a profile name of 'boltaction' I would have expected less whining.
 
If she has two jobs and a cell phone, she could call you as she drives from job1 to job2 or from either job to her house.  Jeez.
 
I'll bet she thinks of you every night - ha.  She's the Domme...she has you crawling all over trying to see her again, doing backflips and calling her and texting her ... "please, please, please will you see me? please?  I'll spank you if you let me..." 
 
If she doesn't call back, move on.  At least you won't have to turn in your "I'm a Dom" card from WalMart.

This is not helpful to anyone. It seems that this situation has pushed some of your own buttons. Perhaps you have been where he is or you fear that you will be one day. A little compassion can go a long way.

Master Fire



I think I'm falling in love with MFM.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 8:32:39 PM   
boltaction


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline 		Ground rules time.


1. YOU WILL PROMPTLY RETURN ANY PHONE CALL, EMAIL OR TEXT WITHIN 24 HOURS.
2. I expect you to contact me once a day, by the time you get home or on your way home. (The time will be decided by our schedule at a later date)
3. We will see each other when our schedules do not conflict, at least once a week unless it is an emergency.
4. I will punish you whenever I deem it necessary, and for any reason I see fit.
5. You will refer to me as sir unless I tell you otherwise.


If you feel these requirements are not acceptable then I think we won't be a good match, and should not see each other anymore. "I never answer the phone" is no excuse. I am a dom, NOT a doormat.

You want someone to control and discipline you, well here I am. No more bullshit. We play by the rules or not at all.


This is your final warning, I will not be calling you again.

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 9:02:10 PM   
szobras


Posts: 435
Joined: 9/18/2006
Status: offline 		 things aren't written in stone.
MasterFire, are you trying to put me out of work? LOL

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 9:10:28 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		For chemistry to really work, it's all about meeting the right person a the right time. She may be Ms Right, but it's not the right time for her. She's not truely ready for what she's asking for. It's time to drop it and start recasting your line. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

But for all fun, you can fight fire with fire. Sarcaticly "Thanks for calling me back" when she didn't. Set up meeting times and cancel at the last minute. When you hear an excuse, "Bitch, I don't have time for this shit. You're either ready or you're not." Click!

It sounds like you're being a little too nice right now. It's time you start acting more like a dick. After all, chicks fuck dicks. 

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 9:18:07 PM   
ncmaster75


Posts: 41
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline 		I think that it would be best to let her go and not pursue it.  In a vanilla relationship and especially being a Dom you can't tolerate that.  People who don't keep their word aren't worth knowing.

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 9:26:42 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boltaction
1. YOU WILL PROMPTLY RETURN ANY PHONE CALL, EMAIL OR TEXT WITHIN 24 HOURS.
2. I expect you to contact me once a day, by the time you get home or on your way home. (The time will be decided by our schedule at a later date)
3. We will see each other when our schedules do not conflict, at least once a week unless it is an emergency.
4. I will punish you whenever I deem it necessary, and for any reason I see fit.
5. You will refer to me as sir unless I tell you otherwise.
This is your final warning, I will not be calling you again.
She isn't sufficiently into you to call you, and has broken plans to meet on several occasions, and here you are dreaming that you can tell her what to do.

When are you going to get it through your head that she isn't available, and let go?
I'm with previous posters who think:
A)  She's married
B)  She simply doesn't want a relationship with you
C)  She's on legal or illegal substances, and forgets what promises she's made and to whom.
Let go and move on,   M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to boltaction)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 9:47:13 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		You do know your makeing yourself seem very desperate and that isnt an attractive quality in anyone let alone a Dom.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 10:07:07 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Kick her to the curb....Your situation is hurting my soul....Geeesh!

There are rules and you have broken the majority for keeping a healthy self esteem.

I am holding a series of "sensitivity training camps" that you might want to attend.

Rules for engaging women:

only have there numbers in your cell phone...If it ever occurs to you that there are not returning calls, being dishonest, breaking meetings or commitments IMMEDIATELY REMOVE HER  NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE!!!  This way you can save what little of pride remains and have no way of contacting her.

She has your number and leave it at that...End of story.

There are so many women that meet the criteria that you seek....The next one is right down the block. Don't lament over the loss of this woman...Move on!

_____________________________



(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: New person I met doesn't return my calls.. but want... - 3/8/2007 11:12:40 PM   
boltaction


Posts: 53
Joined: 12/1/2005
Status: offline 		I threw it away, moving on.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 40
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