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ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I remember my grandmother was very much submissive to her second husband.  But it was a cultural thing, as well as being generational.  If he needed his toenails clipped, she did it.  If his back needed to be scrubbed, that was her job.  She didn't think anything was odd about it, it was just what the culture and generation found acceptable. 
But I would not say she was submissive as I view it in a bdsm sense.  Because so many of that generation held the belief that "this is life".  What disturbs me (if I can use such harsh terms) is that, somewhere along the line, catering to your mate as it was your job, became almost shameful.  So much that people denied they enjoy that sort of life.
If being old fashioned in this old nilla way is kink, wouldn't it be lovely to express it with pride,  "I believe in old fashioned mores, someone must be in charge.  It just happens to be me."
I guess I would like to see more people be OK with being who they are without having to consider it kinky.
as my grandmother used to say "es vida" "thats life" 
Kyst

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ORIGINAL: Missokyst
I see a lot of people mention they don't engage in bdsm, but do enjoy d/s.  I have always wondered what makes this any different from simple old fashioned relationships.  When did it not be ok to consider onesself traditional (nilla)?  If there is no bondage, discipline, or sado-masochistic activity in a relationship, why are so many not ok with that?
I know I stated this judgementally, but  it has always perplexed me.
Kyst

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And most aren't ok with it because in our culture today we prioritize self choice above social standards (in theory) AND many females believe to follow an old social standard denigrates the progress females try to make.  Even many women who ARE slaves have difficulties letting go of the "new social standards" of what a woman is supposed to be.