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RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/13/2007 5:52:19 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

my two cents - start building a relationship first before asking about what we like to do. my pov from what others have surmised, your relationship is unstable.


maybe this should be a "Dom "NOT" to do list" instead

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/13/2007 5:53:11 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		Why don't you ask her what kinds of things she enjoys then find activites that will satisfy both of your needs.  Is she a masochist? Your name indicates that  you a sadist.  What kinds of toys do you have? that can make a big difference in what you do. Have fun!!

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/13/2007 5:56:25 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		...learning tricks to excite the bedroom before building a relationship is like putting the cart before the horse...

Domming 101 coming to a bookstore near you


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/13/2007 6:46:46 PM   
SimplySubmissive


Posts: 216
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

Considering the issues that she is having, I think that is a recipe for disaster.  Building her self worth/esteem based on things that you do together is going to send the message that she is valuable because of these things that she does or you do together.  What happens then if you bring another girl in and start doing these same things with the other girl?  No longer will your girl be valuable for the things that you do, since you have another to do them too.  She will be right back into thinking she can be replaced.

If you want to strengthen the relationship then show her that you value her for who she is and not what things she can do or you can do together.

Knight's kyra


  Exactly!
Read, Read, Read!   Learn about yourself first. then think about building relationships.
And.. adding a second? while learning about being a Dominant, and beginning a relationship with a sub who is already having some issues with the adding another...whew!
I think sometimes people new to the lifestyle hear/read about things.. and it's like they check the poly box, check the sadist box, check the Dom box.. and wait for all the bi poly subbies to fall in their lap.   oh yeah, order the bondage kit, and beginner flogger, and you're all set!


(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/13/2007 7:48:45 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 It's funny how people react.

Not only funny, but predictable.

quote:

  It's even funnier you think I care.

Now that is funny!

quote:

  My confidence in myself is fine 

 
Yep, a bit of chest thumping and grunting proves it

quote:

My mistake was including other people.  

No, your mistake was asking an inane and vague question in a forum peopled with folk who don’t pull any punches and are brutally honest in their replies.

quote:

   You're friend is wrong and y'all are useless for coming to her aid

You seem to be inept in the art of debate and lively discussion;  with all the name calling etc.

quote:

I'm not looking for warm welcomes. 

 
Oh, I can sense the swamp land hard sell is imminent!


quote:

  I'm just using y'all for my own ends.

Psssst, your ass is showing, is that the end to which you refer?
quote:

  Hate me if you must.

 
Hate would indicate we’d have to care on some level; the strongest feeling I can dredge up is ennui..


quote:

   I won't be losing any sleep over it.

 
Sleep well, the sleep of the know it all superior being.


_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/13/2007 8:03:11 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Sorry sweetness, but if you are using US for your own means, you have closed a lot of potentialy useful doors.  I for one do not appreciate being USED for anyones means.
So, good luck, and come up wth your own ideas.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/13/2007 8:30:38 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Sorry sweetness, but if you are using US for your own means, you have closed a lot of potentialy useful doors.  I for one do not appreciate being USED for anyones means.
So, good luck, and come up wth your own ideas.

DV


nothing like self-destructing.


stupid is as stupid does!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 4:53:40 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		The op posted a ligitimate thread and you idiots are ripping him apart for another thread he posted. You people are sad. Answer the question posted. Dont dig up other shit. 

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 4:59:39 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

I'm just using y'all for my own ends.

Yet another OP who reinforces my theory that some folks with kinks for being humiliated do use us to get off.

What at first glance seems like sheer stupidity and a complete absence of social graces is instead a big sign that says "KICK ME!"


_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 5:09:26 AM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

The op posted a ligitimate thread and you idiots are ripping him apart for another thread he posted. You people are sad. Answer the question posted. Dont dig up other shit. 


I think NOT.  He's being slammed because of a self-edifying and egotistic attitude without any visible foundation.  Surely a sign of asking for help but thinking he already knows the answers, then twisting the context of his posts to blame others for his own short-comings and unwillingness to learn from the perspective of those he originally seeks information from. 

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 5:09:41 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

The op posted a ligitimate thread and you idiots are ripping him apart for another thread he posted. You people are sad. Answer the question posted. Dont dig up other shit. 


I did post a legitimate answer to his question of what do "I do with my girl" and he got defensive about it. 

If I were to start a thread asking for advice about my relationship, I would hope that the posters would take into consideration the many other posts I have made referencing my relationship to give me the best advice possible.  I would hope that they wouldn't take one post in isolation and only respond to that.   Since that "other shit" was less than 3 days ago, I think it is pretty important to consider when giving advice.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 5:13:50 AM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

The op posted a ligitimate thread and you idiots are ripping him apart for another thread he posted. You people are sad. Answer the question posted. Dont dig up other shit. 

I was fully prepared to respond with something useful, offers to help, and even potentialy talk off the boards, until the little gem about his using us for his own means.  Once you shoot yourself in the foot, WE are not the sad ones.  If you want to be used to further the selfish OPs cause, thats fine, have at it.  It does not make me sad not to want to play to someone like that.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 5:40:39 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

The op posted a ligitimate thread and you idiots are ripping him apart for another thread he posted. You people are sad. Answer the question posted. Dont dig up other shit. 


actually... He is being buried by his own shit from this thread with the greatest of ease

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 5:45:13 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		If you dont like what the person post then use the option to ignore them. To slam someone because their views differ from yours shows that your no better than them. Take what they have to say with a grain of salt and have a good laugh then move on.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 5:51:19 AM   
Aubre


Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline 		I don't work for them, but you could check

this (NSFW - in fact, in the dictionary under NSFW, this is listed as the poster child)

out for ideas. Visual aids and what not.



(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 6:01:30 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

If you dont like what the person post then use the option to ignore them. To slam someone because their views differ from yours shows that your no better than them. Take what they have to say with a grain of salt and have a good laugh then move on.


LMAO....

Yup if you don't like what we state... you could just ignore us..... but of course... you busy pretending to take the high road as you try so nicely not appear to slam us while you slam us.

Personally, I prefer the direct approach on most occassions... of course your approach as worked for me on occassios as well.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 6:04:30 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He dips lid to all,

Wow O.P.! You're so lucky to get a whole reputable house against  you!  Is that Mist, laughter or anger I see,  Nope it's all three! 

Nice thread developing here, bit of seriousness, helpfulness and alot of fun.

(I don't go back three days- Monday was a bad day- i'll leave it there.)

Smiles to all.

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to Aubre)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 7:40:37 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		While I completely agree with Kyra, I'll make a more specific suggestion that you plan a trip out of town TOGETHER.  And not a "kink based trip" but a trip to a location like Las Vegas or Niagra Falls.  Some place special and sweet to make as "your place"- plan the hotel arrangements, the sight seeing, the travel arrangements, all together.  Make it a project to enjoy to the end.  This will help you forge communication and planning skills as a couple and mold a niche for your relationship which will be untouched by any future relationships.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Driver1961)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 7:45:04 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		If you are a new Dom then you're probably both learning a lot. The best person to learn from is your partner. Get to know her mind inside and out to the point where you know what she's thinking every minute of the day. Don't do anything kinky with her until you know her that well. THAT's when the kinky stuff will be the most fun cuz you'll know how to play with her mind without even touching her.

(in reply to WiseCracknSadist)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Dom to-do-list - 3/14/2007 8:21:49 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

If you dont like what the person post then use the option to ignore them. To slam someone because their views differ from yours shows that your no better than them. Take what they have to say with a grain of salt and have a good laugh then move on.


Then perhaps you should take your own advice, no?


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 40
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