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What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:08:01 PM   
MASTERLJ


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Ok.....we met this couple a week or so ago. They are a master/slave couple. He is the master, she is the slave. But in all reality.........it does not extend any further than the bedroom. Me and Jen were comfortable with these guys. After our first weekend of  fun filled activitys, i agreed that Jen could spend a weekend with them. No sooner did she spend one night, than I was bombarded with accusations of being an abuser of power, abusing my wife and just downright not knowing what BDSM is all about.......(this all happens after we play) We played with them because we were comfortable, and then after that.....all the BS surfaced. Now here is the topper......i said they feel it stays in the bedroom........well in the bedroom she is the slave.....but outside the bedroom? Guess who the master is?(duh she is the mistress) So to futher this totally irritating week......they admit to trying to find a 24/7 live in slave.....and trying to convince my wife she is in bad spot, and to leave me..........oh yeah.....and admitting in the end they were trying to steal her????
Anybody got some input here? Is stealing common practice? Or did i just meet some weirdos?    We have been swingers for over 2 years, and into BDSM for about a year. I personally have swung for over 4 years.....and never run into this. I was even with a mistress 2 years ago.......and still nothing this weird. We are still new to the whole master/slave thing, and want to chalk this up to just a bad weekend, and not a picture of what really goes on.........

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:11:29 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		yes, no wonder some of has to take drugs at night

you ok with that?

Ron


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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:12:40 PM   
MASTERLJ


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		??? ok what ya mean am i ok with that...............

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:14:08 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		yes, it's disrespectful, but if you trust jen, why are you worrying so much about it? just break off contact with them. there are crazy folks everywhere.

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:14:16 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		are you looking for a friend or did you want me to feel that first thing?

Ron


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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:16:17 PM   
MASTERLJ


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

yes, it's disrespectful, but if you trust jen, why are you worrying so much about it? just break off contact with them. there are crazy folks everywhere.

Oh i trust her with my life......but stealing a slave??? That is my issue? Does that happen?  I was just kinda blindsided by the whole thing. Sorry if I sound paranoid....shoulda rememberd my meds!.....lol

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Bestow rewards without regard to rule, issue orders without regard to previous arrangements; and you will be able to handle a whole army as though you had to do with but a single man.
- Sun Tzu


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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:16:58 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERLJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

yes, it's disrespectful, but if you trust jen, why are you worrying so much about it? just break off contact with them. there are crazy folks everywhere.

Oh i trust her with my life......but stealing a slave??? That is my issue? Does that happen?  I was just kinda blindsided by the whole thing. Sorry if I sound paranoid....shoulda rememberd my meds!.....lol


i know we look like we don't have our own brains, but really, we do. she can't be stolen unless she wants to be.

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:23:36 PM   
MASTERLJ


Posts: 21
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

. she can't be stolen unless she wants to be.

[/quote]

Ok gotcha......but my thing is this......they really tryed hard to convince she needed to be stolen. What i am getting at is....do people try to forcibly steal slaves. Or is this just a fluke.....I understand a willingness to be stolen.....Jen and i talked about that.....and it is something she is researching. I think it might be interesting.....but not if she wasn't willing.

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Bestow rewards without regard to rule, issue orders without regard to previous arrangements; and you will be able to handle a whole army as though you had to do with but a single man.
- Sun Tzu


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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:26:19 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		You dont need to worry about others just your wife is your wife is an honerable person and loves you then nothing anyone els says is going to make a difference in fact the moment they started putting you down she should have been out of there. I know I dont stand for anyone saying anything bad about my Master. She should have left emediatly and come right home. You dont mention how she handled it but as long as she handled her self well then there should be no worries on your part.. This doesnt sound as if you trust her all that much if you did you wouldnt think anyone trying to steal her would be a problem.. a slave cant be stolen period, unless they are willing to be and then they are just as much at foult as the person doing the "stealing"
Just my thoughts

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
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before the devil even knows your there.


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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:36:19 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERLJ

Ok gotcha......but my thing is this......they really tryed hard to convince she needed to be stolen. What i am getting at is....do people try to forcibly steal slaves. Or is this just a fluke.....I understand a willingness to be stolen.....Jen and i talked about that.....and it is something she is researching. I think it might be interesting.....but not if she wasn't willing.


Congratulations on haveing a slave with enough integrity to not fall in this trap. Be proud, and lose the losers from your life.

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:37:15 PM   
SilverShadows


Posts: 558
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		The world is full of low class people who don't respect others. Is it common? No more common than straight folks trying to seduce each others partners. No more common than poly or swingers trying to poach from each other. I've been in the in poly community a long time and seen lots of swingers try "steal" partners from in the poly community. I sure it happens with each other as well.

Just cut off the relationship and don't let them disturb your sleep. They have to live with themselves, you don't.

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:37:33 PM   
frostyslave


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/8/2007
Status: offline 		I would err on the side of caution and lock her in the basement for a few weeks.  You just can't trust women these days with divorce rates running near 50%.  

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:41:07 PM   
bearincuffs


Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERLJ

Anybody got some input here? Is stealing common practice? Or did i just meet some weirdos?    We have been swingers for over 2 years, and into BDSM for about a year.


I can't say if this is a common practice but it does happen and there are some who do try to steal another's slave/sub. Some see this as a challenge, or they may think they are a "better" Master than anyone else, or for many other various reasons. This is not different then a person going after another person's wife/husband in the vanilla world. If your relationship with your significant other is secure and stable, I don't think you need to worry she will be "stolen."
I have had that happen to myself a few times and I just politely tell them to go elsewhere. My Master knows and trusts me enough that I won't allow myself to be stolen by another. I just tell Master what happened and we both get a good laugh.

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An it harm none, do as thou wilt
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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 9:57:17 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MASTERLJ

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

. she can't be stolen unless she wants to be.



Ok gotcha......but my thing is this......they really tryed hard to convince she needed to be stolen. What i am getting at is....do people try to forcibly steal slaves. Or is this just a fluke.....I understand a willingness to be stolen.....Jen and i talked about that.....and it is something she is researching. I think it might be interesting.....but not if she wasn't willing.


unless they're kidnapping her and brainwashing her, i really don't get where the worry is coming from. did they forcibly keep her from leaving?

yes, there are assholes in the world, even in bdsm. but she's a human being with her own sense of self, integrity, and relationship...so unless something illegal was going on, i don't see the danger. if indeed they did refuse to allow her to leave at any time, then i'd be more worried about getting the authorities involved, personally.

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 10:18:50 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

No sooner did she spend one night, than I was bombarded with accusations of being an abuser of power, abusing my wife and just downright not knowing what BDSM is all about
If you read Ron's (mnottertail) signature, you'd know those people are full of crap, and trying to influence your girl and make you insecure.   So stop spazzing, cut your ties with these folks who are jealous and wish to undermine your relationship, and continue to live, have fun, and learn with your slave.

No, I don't imagine what happened to you is usual, but even if it were, are you going to be a master because you dominate like everyone else, or because you are a dominant, and will dominate your slave to your liking (with her consent to be a slave to you of course).   I add the consent, because what we do could be construed as taking advantage of another, but I woud never take advantage of anyone who didn't beg me to do just that and use him.   M

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/13/2007 10:25:33 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Stealing is a rather normal thing, unfortunately.  They found someone they wanted, you allowed her to stay there on her own, and they made their play.  Its no more unusual than a vanilla guy going into the "I am a better man than the man you have" shit, just deal with it.  If I were you, Id cut ties with these peple immediately.  It is one thing to want to play with swingers that are ok with it.  It is quite another to be oppertunists that dont respect someones relationship and try and sabotage it for their own means.  As long as you trust your slave, then theres no real harm.  Chalk it up to a learning experience, and find new playmates.

DV

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VampiresLair

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 1:09:08 AM   
dadeesgurl


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/3/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with Magikslave, your worry should start and stop with your slave.  what someone else attempts to do to her mind is beyond control and so if you are doing your job.....its a moot point.  personally, as a sub, im not feeling alot of Dominant vibes coming from you.  No offense but any Dom ive ever been with would just not have ever been caught in that kind of position.

I know I will get flack for saying this but, if you share your property how can you complain that someone tried to claim it?  If you and I are sharing a park bench....who says how much I get to use?  I DO!  Just something you gotta look at if you are gonna play that game.

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 2:49:42 AM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		There are people without morals in every area of life - bdsm is no exception.  If you trust your slave, then I wouldn't stress over it.  As others suggested, find new playmates who are "on the same page" as the two of you.

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 3:00:08 AM   
scarlettuk


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/16/2007
Status: offline 		     We have been swingers for over 2 years, and into BDSM for about a year. I personally have swung for over 4 years.....and never run into this.




Surely in your time as a swinger you encountered others who wanted to play with either one of you alone after an initial meeting or more?
Or have heard of that sort of thing happening within the swinging scene?
Be honest with yourself how many swinging relatiuonships have you encountered that have broken up because of such a thing.
So in my opinion what is so strange about this situation now within the bdsm life?
It is still life and all sorts of people are here, so there are going to be times you encounter the odd no so nice person, it's the law of averages.
 
Your wife returned after the weekend and therefore you do not have a problem unless of course it has raised an issue of trust between you now. Personally as others have said when they started to make their approach why did she not leave immediately rather than stay the whole weekend?
Or why did you as her Dom permit her to go alone in the first place after just one previous meeting with the couple?
 
Coming from a slightly different angle but with the same basic intent behind it and from personal experiences.
On the site where my Master found me our profile clearly states am his submissive plus very happy to be so. It does not stop others from trying to entice me away when I'm in the chat rooms there.
Even though I am fairly new to the bdsm life have the strength to deal with this not just as the person I am but from the confidence gained from Master.Currently due to my Masters absence through illness at found coping with one particular predator took it's toll on me. With his illness was unable to inform him of the situation yet other members of the site community who watched over me during this time dealt with the matter on his behalf. 
In another instance had someone offer money to gain access to me!!!!
There is strength and depth in the relationship I have with Master even though we are not married or live together. I have his permission to deal with any of these types of people on my own when he's not around, knowing there is also a support network of other like minded folk around if required. They know us and protect me in the same way he would should the need arise,just as I've been protecting him throughout his illness by keeping the worst of the information from him.
 
 
As with any situation but especially with bdsm and to a certain extent when you were a swinger care needs to be taken when meeting others.
Mistakes happen just learn from them and move on.

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Yesterday is gone so forget it merely learn from any mistakes you made.

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RE: What the crap!!!!! - 3/14/2007 4:23:14 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		For perspective, its the equivalent of the guy in the bar who hits on your wife while your standing right there. Hopefully, your relationship is strong enough that you dont have to worry about her paying any attention to him. If she wont, then you shouldnt have any reason to worry she would pay attention to these people.

People go on and on about honor, integrity, blah blah in BDSM, but in reality, people are still the same crappy people they were in the vanilla world.

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