RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid!

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:41:15 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SilverShadows

Do we have a betting pool on how long this thread will run too?

And are we going to serve tea and crumpets while we listen to Troll's whining?

Try sitting on a pillow.

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:45:21 PM

texancutie

Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

Don't know about anyone else, but I would love some tea and crumpets.....well...better yet scones with devonshire cream and maybe a little lemon curd.

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:47:44 PM

RobertCloud

Posts: 2959
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Pecker: Aptly named "THUNDAR" is about 17" long and 14" around. My tongue, aptly named "LIGHTNING" is 9 1/2 inches long and really thick. I have 6 very dexterous fingers on my left hand and 7 extremely dexterous fingers on the right hand.

Ummm... excuse me Troll.... but have you been reading my profile again..

Thunder and lightning.... My name is Cloud for a reason.. It comes from my native name... Basically, Lord of the Clouds...

Now... that we have that straight... hmmm... okay... I grant you permission to use the terms but increase your tongue to 14 inches long and prehensile nine tailed end... more like a split lightning bolt that way... Now that is much better... yup...

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:49:10 PM

LadyMyles

Posts: 15
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline

you have to be sure to say that you're true, real, and have no limits, in addition to sending the close-ups of your cock

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:54:27 PM

texancutie

Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline

I am a tribal member but my native name is something close to Linda...maybe they dropped me on my head or something. I am not Running Doe or She who buys too many shoes and purses. Anyway dropping me on my head would explain some things too...lol. Just kidding around here...no harm intended.

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/13/2007 10:55:57 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

Once again I am crofonted with the exchange of R and W. But what about the F?

People... what about the F for the love of god?

*wipes tears away*

Think of the F... have pity....

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 2:04:12 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
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I am confused FT - are you an evil fucker, faker or fakir? The world needs to know which it is.

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 2:29:16 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Make sure you create a form letter than you send out to everyone; regardless of interest, orientation or gender. Have nothing on your profile. Talk about anal sex and cannibalism endlessly. Demandthat anyone who talks to you go naked on live web cam and send you their credit card numbers, home addresses and all other data. When you are talking on web-cam, be naked and fondling yourself, have your desktop littered with ashtrays and old beer cans and fast food wrappers. Burp, fart and scratch your balls without
apology while on web cam.

If some desperate souls agree to meet with you in person, tell them to show up in public without wearing
a bra or underwear or shoes. Arrive at the meeting place barefoot, unshowered, unshaven and wearing nothing but a pair of old overalls with a back pocket torn off and some of your butt showing. As for the meeting place, Wal-Mart or McDonalds will do, or a deserted parking lot late at night. Tell them not to let anyone know where they are going and that they cannot bring their cell phone.

Steal a car and stuff the driver in the trunk on your way to the meeting place. That way you can have sex in the back seat of the car while the driver drives you both to the nearest pay by the hour flea and roach infested hotel. Make sure Norman is on duty and that his Mother is around for cheery company afterwards.

Yours in flagrant delicato,

Devil Domme

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 3:58:35 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll
Hi! I am new to the site and been trying to get laid for three whole days.

Hi! I became a member

in 2005, so this is my third year, and I haven't yet tried to get laid. Take heart! You are doing much better than I.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll
I must say the site is very disappointing and I want my fuk'n money back.

Quite. A luscious slave girl will bring your fuk'n money back to you shortly, but since you are the last in line to complain and to want your fuk'n money back, you will have to await your turn.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll
Before I get my refund what exactly can I do to get some action around here?

Post on the message boards and show everybody your true nature - whether you be a god or a troll, or a faking human being.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll
Pleaze for the love of all things smutty and immoral tell me!!!!

For the love of all things divine and immortal I just did.

< Message edited by Rule -- 3/14/2007 3:59:43 AM >

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 6:02:31 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

are you still upset that i haven't hopped on a plane to you?

damn it, FT, i told you i would be there soon

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 7:36:17 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Pecker: Aptly named "THUNDAR" is about 17" long and 14" around. My tongue, aptly named "LIGHTNING" is 9 1/2 inches long and really thick. I have 6 very dexterous fingers on my left hand and 7 extremely dexterous fingers on the right hand.

See, now, there's your problem. Rename you tongue "The Barbarian". Then you''ll have a matched set and will be taken much more seriously.

Master Fire

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 8:20:21 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Pecker: Aptly named "THUNDAR" is about 17" long and 14" around. My tongue, aptly named "LIGHTNING" is 9 1/2 inches long and really thick. I have 6 very dexterous fingers on my left hand and 7 extremely dexterous fingers on the right hand.

Hell that'll work!!!! Just gimme a call at 1-800-EAT N BEAT ME!!

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 10:20:45 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

Make sure you create a form letter than you send out to everyone; regardless of interest, orientation or gender. Have nothing on your profile. Talk about anal sex and cannibalism endlessly. Demandthat anyone who talks to you go naked on live web cam and send you their credit card numbers, home addresses and all other data. When you are talking on web-cam, be naked and fondling yourself, have your desktop littered with ashtrays and old beer cans and fast food wrappers. Burp, fart and scratch your balls without
apology while on web cam.

If some desperate souls agree to meet with you in person, tell them to show up in public without wearing
a bra or underwear or shoes. Arrive at the meeting place barefoot, unshowered, unshaven and wearing nothing but a pair of old overalls with a back pocket torn off and some of your butt showing. As for the meeting place, Wal-Mart or McDonalds will do, or a deserted parking lot late at night. Tell them not to let anyone know where they are going and that they cannot bring their cell phone.

Steal a car and stuff the driver in the trunk on your way to the meeting place. That way you can have sex in the back seat of the car while the driver drives you both to the nearest pay by the hour flea and roach infested hotel. Make sure Norman is on duty and that his Mother is around for cheery company afterwards.

Yours in flagrant delicato,

Devil Domme

All that is in check. But what is an apology?

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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Post #: 33

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 10:23:00 AM

Llyren

Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

All that is in check. But what is an apology?

A pology is one of them thar baby frogses.

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 10:28:42 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

Oh good. I wudn't give one any way. They are stayen on tha BBQ.

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The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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Post #: 35

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 10:29:51 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Pecker: Aptly named "THUNDAR" is about 17" long and 14" around. My tongue, aptly named "LIGHTNING" is 9 1/2 inches long and really thick. I have 6 very dexterous fingers on my left hand and 7 extremely dexterous fingers on the right hand.

See, now, there's your problem. Rename you tongue "The Barbarian". Then you''ll have a matched set and will be taken much more seriously.

Master Fire

It is now official!

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 10:31:53 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane

quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

Pecker: Aptly named "THUNDAR" is about 17" long and 14" around. My tongue, aptly named "LIGHTNING" is 9 1/2 inches long and really thick. I have 6 very dexterous fingers on my left hand and 7 extremely dexterous fingers on the right hand.

Hell that'll work!!!! Just gimme a call at 1-800-EAT N BEAT ME!!

Are you a fat guy named Ralph? That's who answered.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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Post #: 37

RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 10:32:16 AM

Llyren

Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

You got some crawdaddies on it too, right?

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Member of Cock-Suckers for World Peace

"Character is what you are in the dark."

- Lord John Whorfin

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 10:33:15 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

are you still upset that i haven't hopped on a plane to you?

damn it, FT, i told you i would be there soon

I only have about 70 more years to live. Can you hurry that ass up?

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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RE: I'm a big fat wanker and can't get laid! - 3/14/2007 10:35:04 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Llyren

You got some crawdaddies on it too, right?

With a side of Possum~

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I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

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Post #: 40