RE: do married guys have much luck here? (Full Version)

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AquaticSub -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 1:36:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

I know I just started here but it seems, in looking through profiles the past couple of days, that this site is more about serious relationships. I am looking for friendship and like-minded people who share the wonderful idea of a female-dominated lifestyle. Not every guy is looking for "sex" and/or "playtime". My wife is an Alpha Female in the corporate world but has no interest in any aspect of bdsm.


Apparently there are quite a few guys like us out there. My wife is definitely an alpha female, but she isn't into BDSM. It's just that simple. From what I have seen at collarme, alt, and a few others, most so-called femdoms still are very traditional -- they want a monogamous relationship but they want to be the boss. These women don't really seem to be that liberated in their thinking. They are just into role reversal.



So-called? Get yourself a cluebat hun. There are plenty of BDSM lovin' femdoms who want one partner. Remember that when you are looking to cheat you are looking for someone who currently has the correct lack of morals to help you. Just because you haven't been able to find that is no reason to start name calling.



azjojoba -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 1:38:09 PM)

quote:

Have you tried talking about it? Remember - if you are hiding it to try and avoid divorce, just imagine how delicious everything will sound at divorce proceedings if she does find out you've been carrying on behind her back.


I have no intention of getting a divorce. I don't see this as an either/or situation.



AquaticSub -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 1:38:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

Ofcourse that might work for the whitey tighties!!

[sm=river.gif]
Can't you give me a little slack?



Sure we could. But since you've been insulting towards those who prefer monogamy and won't help your sorry butt cheat, I don't think a bunch of us are likely too.



Mysti -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 1:38:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

perhaps you would have more luck with a pro-domme if that is the case


I actually tried a pro domme. It wasn't bad, but the very fact that I have to pay sort of subverts the idea of submitting. Let's face it, if I pay I'm the boss, even if she is the one doing the dominating.


Its paying for a service that brings you pleasure.like a massage or a new haircut.  Theres maybe one out of a thousand FemDommes* that will allow you to be the directive in where and when and shh don't tell my wife.

*non professional

as for the photo.. a baseball hat and sunglasses prohibits casinos from video Id'ing someone.. it may help you keep your anonymity. or maybe a clothed you from your smile down, and let people know a facial shot is available once you've gotten to know people better. Profile wise, be as honest as possible. You may get some rude emails from it, but thats what block and delete is for.

I try not to judge others for what pops their cherry. I hope you find a sucessful resolution to your search issues.



AquaticSub -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 1:39:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

Have you tried talking about it? Remember - if you are hiding it to try and avoid divorce, just imagine how delicious everything will sound at divorce proceedings if she does find out you've been carrying on behind her back.


I have no intention of getting a divorce. I don't see this as an either/or situation.



I wasn't talking about you divorcing her. Why do you need to hide this from her?



GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 3:18:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

Make sure your wife knows what you are up to and is consenting.


That's just not realistic.



It's perfectly realistic.

Look inside the tighty whities and locate your testicles.

Men with balls are honest to their spouse.

If you can't be honest with her, it must not be a very strong relationship, in which case, you need to move on.



GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 3:22:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

Have you tried talking about it? Remember - if you are hiding it to try and avoid divorce, just imagine how delicious everything will sound at divorce proceedings if she does find out you've been carrying on behind her back.


I have no intention of getting a divorce. I don't see this as an either/or situation.



Would your WIFE see it as an either/or situation? Or do her feelings not really count in the matter?

You know what, go ahead and cheat. I hope she catches you and takes you for all you're worth in the divorce.

When you're dead broke and living in a shoebox apartment at your age because she took everything you had, maybe you'll wish you had put a little more stock in this things like honest, integrity, etc.



chrissyslave -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 4:28:22 PM)

My advice is for someone 5'11 and 225 is don't show your photo!  Even as a sub/slave youe photo is a big turn-off, and with the choices that most Dommes have you need to show your best side, not your fat-handled ass side.  As for "discreet" that depends on whether you want to hide your relationship with any Domme from your wife, or the public in general.  Do you really expect a Domme to walk up to your door in Domme wear, or command you to come out and kiss her boots in public?  Its screams of  "don't let my wife know what I am doing (cheating) so no phone calls that she might pick up on."  Also "cheating" is not having sex with another woman, but whether she knows about it and gives permission to do it.  Otherwise it's merely a form of swinging. 

My opinion, is to show yourself in a quality suit and clearly state the ways you will honor a Domme, meaning gifts, dinner and begging at her feet for whatever attention she might care to bestow on you.  Also lose about 30-40 lbs, then think about showing that much skin.  Other than following that advice, I strongly suggest considering a professional Domme. 




GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 4:43:25 PM)

quote:

My advice is for someone 5'11 and 225 is don't show your photo


I am 8inches shorter than him and only about 20lbs lighter, so I disagree with your statement.

I wouldn't go so far as to ridicule him for his size.

I think what's he's doing is despicable but I'm a good 90lbs overweight myself, and it ain't gonna keep me from showing my bod!

Bringing weight into it is hitting below the belt, even when dealing with a sleazeball. I'd be pretty hurt if someone told me I shouldn't show any sexy pics of me unless I lose weight.

For the record, I find larger men quite attractive and I think if I was a domme, his size wouldn't bother me. What bothers me more is that the picture is poor quality and taken from an unflattering angle, indicating that he is not taking special pride in presenting himself to his prospective domme.



AquaticSub -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 4:54:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

quote:

My advice is for someone 5'11 and 225 is don't show your photo


I am 8inches shorter than him and only about 20lbs lighter, so I disagree with your statement.

I wouldn't go so far as to ridicule him for his size.

I think what's he's doing is despicable but I'm a good 90lbs overweight myself, and it ain't gonna keep me from showing my bod!

Bringing weight into it is hitting below the belt, even when dealing with a sleazeball. I'd be pretty hurt if someone told me I shouldn't show any sexy pics of me unless I lose weight.

For the record, I find larger men quite attractive and I think if I was a domme, his size wouldn't bother me. What bothers me more is that the picture is poor quality and taken from an unflattering angle, indicating that he is not taking special pride in presenting himself to his prospective domme.


Seconded. I'm overweight and I've never been attracting more men then I do currently.



GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 5:05:46 PM)

Ditto Aquatic. When I was a size 3, I thought I was ugly because no one asked me out. Getting heavy gave me a HUGE confidence boost as I suddenly become more "approachable" and hence got asked out by oodles of people.

I do feel the original poster is a sorry sort of person for doing what he's doing...but making fun of his weight is mean and uncalled for.

What if he is heavy due to a medical problem? (I'm heavy from eating...but some folks have medical problems.)




silentrunner -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 5:15:31 PM)

I do admit the picture isn't very flattering. However, with the advancements in bio-genetics, it won't be long before we are all looking the same; acting the same and no doubt, dressing the same. A man or woman can be a "cookie-cutter" sub, all packaged and ready to serve; much like that crap they sell at grocery stores in the frozen foods section. None of us will have unique features (whether good or bad) and we can all sit around and basically talk to ourselves all day long. What a wonderful world THAT will be.



chrissyslave -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 5:48:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl

quote:

My advice is for someone 5'11 and 225 is don't show your photo


I am 8inches shorter than him and only about 20lbs lighter, so I disagree with your statement.

I wouldn't go so far as to ridicule him for his size.

I think what's he's doing is despicable but I'm a good 90lbs overweight myself, and it ain't gonna keep me from showing my bod!

Bringing weight into it is hitting below the belt, even when dealing with a sleazeball. I'd be pretty hurt if someone told me I shouldn't show any sexy pics of me unless I lose weight.

For the record, I find larger men quite attractive and I think if I was a domme, his size wouldn't bother me. What bothers me more is that the picture is poor quality and taken from an unflattering angle, indicating that he is not taking special pride in presenting himself to his prospective domme.


What I'm speaking of is in terms of "marketing."  The market for a sub-male is far less than a sub-female, and to show one's shape in that kind of photo is simply "poor marketing."  Of course even for a woman here in CM-land what sells well is a bit different than what goes over well in vanilla-land, which is likely why more BBW are here than the averages out there.  Better marketing for bigger and self-confident woman works better here.  So we are speaking of apples versus oranges and his "product" has a variety of reasons for not going over well, and his photo is just one key one of many.  As the ONLY photo he shows it is cheap and slezy looking, and matches his profile in general.  No wonder few or no takers. 

BTW, I have been a bit bigger in the past and in general the takers are far more then I am at the size I am today, or I would not be able to wear what I do in my own photos.  The fact that I could weigh more than I do (143 lbs at 5'9", size 11/12) shows I value my own appearance and health, and both are better for it.  Again, it comes down to marketing and I market myself in various ways, all with due respect of course.  And the best to any others that are successful in their own presentation choices, but if one comes here and bitches about how no one is turned on to their profiles then ALL parts of it comes into some due consideration....photos included.  BTW, it's not his weight per sec but that it doesn't look good on him and just comes across as a middle aged guy looking to get a few cheap thrills while cheating on his wife.  A dime a dozen in my book. 

chirssy




michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 5:52:11 PM)

hell, i'm not married, but have a gf who is supportive and fully aware of my submissiveness. but that doesn't matter here (or anywhere, for that matter).



GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 5:52:28 PM)

I see your point Chrissy.

I just felt the need to speak, since I am a bigger person and I think that I should show my photos :)

Course, in my case, it doesn't seem to have hurt my "marketing" as I still get to turn down at least 5 a day on here.

quote:

The fact that I could weigh more than I do (143 lbs at 5'9", size 11/12) shows I value my own appearance and health, and both are better for it.


This part is purely a matter of opinion. Your health is between your and your doc...as for appearance, I honestly feel (and absolutely NO offense meant!) that you are bit thin. (But then again, you probably think I am a bit heavy.) I think you would be more physically appealing with another 10-15lbs but that is just my opinion and meant to make a point about "valuing" one's appearance. What you value as a good appearance and what others value may differ.....Personally, I find the OPs size to be a plus (though I agree it's a cheap sleazy looking pic.) If he were 40lbs thinner, I would find him less attractive.



BlackWomanSubNJ -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 5:57:28 PM)

I HATE, get that HATE to get approached by married men. Especially when it'll say on my profile for them not to contact me. (Of course, it doesn't matter what you write, people you don't want bother you anyway).  You'll be chatting with them for days or weeks and find out they're married.  Very annoying. Not to mention that it ticks me off.

I hope if you're trying to step out on your wife that you have zero success.  I think that if men don't want to be married, then they shouldn't be married.  But don't go outside the marraige.  That's my rant.



AquaticSub -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 5:58:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chrissyslave

The fact that I could weigh more than I do (143 lbs at 5'9", size 11/12) shows I value my own appearance and health, and both are better for it.  Again, it comes down to marketing and I market myself in various ways, all with due respect of course. 


This is going to get so bad so fast....

Darlin' some men like 'em thicker then you. Some men like 'em smaller.

Weight was can be put on lots of reasons. Mine is due to having to suddenly go off a medication that had been surpressing my appettite from third grade to my last years of high school. Coming into college I had no idea how to regulate what I ate because there had never been a need. I ate enough to live and that was about that. Hell I had to work my ass to gain weight to hit 140!

I think it's incredibly unfair to judge someone by their weight. If you aren't attracted to them fine, but jeez you don't need to broadcast it. I certainly wouldn't broadcast some complaint about your physical appearence.



BlackWomanSubNJ -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 6:00:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chrissyslave

My advice is for someone 5'11 and 225 is don't show your photo!  Even as a sub/slave youe photo is a big turn-off, and with the choices that most Dommes have you need to show your best side, not your fat-handled ass side. 
Also lose about 30-40 lbs, then think about showing that much skin.  Other than following that advice, I strongly suggest considering a professional Domme. 



My suggestion to YOU  chrissyslave is to not resort to cheap and childish insults.  You show yourself to be a small person in every way when you do that. It takes all types to make the world go round and even if you don't find him appealing, someone else will.  So, stick to the topic and stop being so nasty.



AquaticSub -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 6:02:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackWomanSubNJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: chrissyslave

My advice is for someone 5'11 and 225 is don't show your photo!  Even as a sub/slave youe photo is a big turn-off, and with the choices that most Dommes have you need to show your best side, not your fat-handled ass side. 
Also lose about 30-40 lbs, then think about showing that much skin.  Other than following that advice, I strongly suggest considering a professional Domme. 



My suggestion to YOU  chrissyslave is to not resort to cheap and childish insults.  You show yourself to be a small person in every way when you do that. It takes all types to make the world go round and even if you don't find him appealing, someone else will.  So, stick to the topic and stop being so nasty.


Not mention that's about the height (5'4") and weight range (190) I'm in. Plenty of people think I'm sexy so :-P



GeekyGirl -> RE: do married guys have much luck here? (3/16/2007 6:06:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
I certainly wouldn't broadcast some complaint about your physical appearence.


Ditto. I normally never criticize physical appearance, but I sort of feel Chrissy started this one.

She's making fun of this guy for being unattractive due to his weight, when some people might consider HER to be unattractive due to her weight.

I simply do not make fun of people's appearance because it is often beyond their control and what is attractive varies based on the person.

For me, there's nothing sexier than a guy who's 50lbs overweight. That's just a personal preference.



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