Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (Full Version)

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Carmeldelight62 -> Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:22:36 AM)

I ask this because my former Dom is nuisance and I told him to find another sub. I do not want him as my Dom/lover any more. He told me that a sub can not uncollar her self and that he makes the choice to let me go.  I told him that I have a mind and that he should find another sub for him self, because I am gone.  Now, he tells me that I am not a real sub.[:@]



MissyRane -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:25:10 AM)

It's not possible to force somebody to stay in a relationship so if both partners don't want the relationship the meaning of a collar is useless. Just uncollar yourself darling, that's what I'd do :)



FukinTroll -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:25:19 AM)

Once you withdrew your consent, you uncollard. Tell him to piss off, it is becoming stalking.



valeca -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:25:37 AM)

Oiy.

If you're gone, why care if he thinks you're a 'real sub' or not?

Of course you have the right to walk away.  In a word:  Consent.  If you don't consent to wear his collar, then you don't.  Pretty simple.

Edit:  Damnit, Troll!  You got there first.



sleazybutterfly -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:26:12 AM)

Anyone that wears a collar, has a right to get rid of the collar (sub or slave).  You chose to wear it in the first place and accept it, and contrary to what anyone else says(him), in the end it's up to you whether you continue to belong to someone.



RPutnamJr -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:28:36 AM)

In my opinion, yes she has the RIGHT if her owner gives her an unlawful order. An order that is either against the law or one that violates a prior agreed upon limit that was a condition to her collaring.

Any other reason and I would she does not have the RIGHT, but it does and can happen.

In your case I believe you don't have the RIGHT, but like everybody else has said, if its not there then in reality it has already happened. So what difference does it truely make.



slutsusan -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:29:45 AM)

absolutely.  If the jerk won't respect your wishes, then he is not a Master at all



viperess -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:35:14 AM)

Greetings,

Yes you have the right to uncollar...a lot depends on your thoughts of being a slave. For me, i was brought up by an "Old Gaurd" who lived and ruled His home as a Gorean Master. Coming from that point of view a slave begs for release..some say up to three times. This not only gives the slave time to realize what she is doing...ie. is it you are having a bad day, pitching a fit due to not getting your way or is He not acting as you would have Him act. On the other hand if it is due to abuse or harm then that is a whole other story. Mostly becoming uncollared depends on how you view slavery. If you are now uncollared then let Him know you will not be stalked as all connections have been severed. As i have only begged release one time and that was with a couple of other Masters by my side after being released from the hospital after a severe punishment i most likely am not totally up on how many go about begging release now adays.
Respectfully,



Carmeldelight62 -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:39:20 AM)

Why should I a sub have to beg my Dom to leave. The relationship is over, so to be him to release me, I just can't see.



candleTC -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:49:57 AM)

i kinda guess, this goes back to the whole slave/sub thing...and the conditions of which your collar was placed... was it placed around your neck under the notion that, " no relationship is forever, so when you feel like leaving you can?" or was it placed, under the pretense of , " this is a constant reminder of whom you belong to, and this is a permanent thing... if you can't handle that, tell Me now." 

IMO, placing a collar is a full time, permanent commitment.  This is a commitment that should be discussed in length, with honesty and openess.  If at any point, you feel like you can NOT fulfill that commitment, isn't it fair and the "sub/slave" thing to discuss this with your "dom/ Master"?  I think the decision should be up to Him whether He releases you or figures out how to fix things.  In all actuality, i am a firm believer that they don't want us unhappy.  An unhappy "sub/slave" is a horrid thing to be around.  The fair, common sense thing to do , is to TALK to Him... you have let Him, make all of your decisions thus far... why not this one.  Maybe i give Masters more of the benefit of the doubt then most "subs" do.  i happen to like mine alot and trust that He knows what is best for me.. and our home. 

If you were just going to find a way to "uncollar" yourself, what's the point of even accepting a collar in the first place.. that was where your choice and right was.. at the very beginning... NOT After the commitment had been made.

Guess, this is me, thinking more and more like a true slave, everyday... good luck to you



KatyLied -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:51:30 AM)

Of course you have a right to uncollar.  You have a right to decide that a relationship isn't working for you.



candleTC -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:54:43 AM)

Shouldn't you have figured that out BEFORE the collar was placed??? Maybe i'm to much of a "traditionalist on the kinky side".. however, i feel the same way about marriage...
Shouldn't you KNOW that this relationship is in working order BEFORE you marry them???



MisPandora -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:56:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: viperess

Greetings,

Yes you have the right to uncollar...a lot depends on your thoughts of being a slave. For me, i was brought up by an "Old Gaurd" who lived and ruled His home as a Gorean Master.


*just blinks and stares, stunned, at the use of Old Guard and Gor in the same sentence*

Huh, had no idea there were gay men in Gor running things.  Shows ya what I know LOL



irinaa -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:57:56 AM)

the opinions on this question will vary. It all comes down to how you feel about it and doing what is right for you.



viperess -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 7:58:46 AM)

Greetings,

i would have to agree with candleTC before accepting a collar around a slaves neck the slave should think long and hard. Also the conditions shuld be discussed as for me a collar around my neck means i am then my Masters property and what goes on in the relation is His decision. Many say there is not a difference between a sub,issive and slave but to me i guess the mindset must be a totally different thing.



candleTC -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 8:00:02 AM)

after months of being gone.. i remember why i love you!!!



viperess -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 8:00:13 AM)

Greetings,

i have no idea about gay in Gor as i have not met any that were.



FukinTroll -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 8:00:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: viperess

Greetings,

Yes you have the right to uncollar...a lot depends on your thoughts of being a slave. For me, i was brought up by an "Old Gaurd" who lived and ruled His home as a Gorean Master.


*just blinks and stares, stunned, at the use of Old Guard and Gor in the same sentence*

Huh, had no idea there were gay men in Gor running things.  Shows ya what I know LOL


That debate has done before. In short, Norman/Lang was looking for profits in a homophobic era and wrote to get those. I feel that if he were to write them now they would be a very diferent series.



onestandingstill -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 8:03:39 AM)

You ALWAYS have the right to uncollar and leave as a sub.
He's saying you're not a real sub in a pathetic last attempt to exert any power he can over you.
I'd just let any comments like that roll off your back as you can just consider the source.
suzanne



Carmeldelight62 -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 8:03:52 AM)

I just felt it was better for me to depart from the relationship. He still tells me his business schedule, sometimes I have to wonder why he tells me his coming and goings.



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