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chrissyslave -> RE: Does a sub have the right to uncollar??? (3/16/2007 5:18:46 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly
Being a slave doesn't make any difference, I am not sure where ppl got that being a slave somehow made the collar mean more, or different. I have heard of subs being collared just the same as I am.
I took my Masters collar because we went over and agreed on everything. If someday we don't anymore, I have as much of a right to leave as anyone would (and so does he). I won't ever just walk away easily, but that has nothing to do with being a slave, it has more to do with me commiting to building a life with him and not giving up unless there is a damn good reason.
We don't know the background on how long she waited to take it, or why she even left. I don't think anyone can tell her that she should have thought more, or that she has to beg this guy to leave her alone. He sounds very desperate to hold on to her and and is using the "you can't be released till I release you" crap in order to gain control over her again.
I have read enough other views to form my own here. A M/s realationship is more about informed consent, honor and respect than legalities. If someone is a newbie and enters a relationship with an experienced one and skips the key steps of mutual understanding than that is like entering a contract with a minor. The contract still exists but is largely unenforcable, and the risks fall on the more experienced one (above a certain age in legal terms, but more about experience here), and the newbie can leave the relationship practically at will, although there are degrees of responsibility here.
That situation aside, it's becomes more about honor and respect. If the other party has kept up their agreements then I consider it possible to ask for release even if only because it no longer is satisfying to myself. If refused I still have the right to revoke the collar but the dishonor is on myself instead of them. But I would think very long and hard before I walked out, since it was my own shortcomings or change of heart that led me to this, and I accept that in fact I might be in some temporary spot that the One can see past, and I am having a flat or low spot in my development as a slave.
But if I ask for release (from a collar) for "good cause" and release is refused, and I still walk away, then the dishonor and the consequences is on the other one...Master or Mistress in my case. Point is that I take the level of being collared VERY seriously, and short of major failing of the One I allowed myself to be collared by then I choose up front to honor my committment and hang in there as a condition of the relationship. Of course there is always the possibility that my (future) One would see my unhappiness and chooses to release me on their own accord, by a proper request, or with dishonor by merely dismissing myself as long as I fulfilled my committments as a slave. In some other words I don't consider "consent" to be something I wake up and decide on each day as if "am I going to eat breakfast today?"
Consent is the foundation of this kind of relationshp and if I thought my One was going to make some consent, or "go - no go" decision each day then I would not enter into a relationship with them in the first place. Don't revisit this agreement unless you have very good solid reason to do so, and then first question your own mental space for doing so. Even a current "lack of trust" needs to have some good reason for thinking that, or you are just projecting your own fears and shortcomings onto someone else and looking for blame in order to release yourself from the guilt of violating your own consentual agreements. BTW, some one putting you into the hospital and having several other Masters confirming your sense of real abuse is an excellent reason to leave. No further justification required.
In case interested, I am a bit of a newbie, not been collared so far, but using both common sense and what I am striving for to go on for the view I expressed above.
chrissy
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