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Stern and strict or combo? - 3/16/2007 7:50:22 AM

SmackNMe

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Who likes a stern, strict mistress? or is it playful and quietly spoken for you?

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 3/16/2007 9:36:57 AM

littleone35

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I dont have a Mistress( so i will answer from my point of view) i have an Master and i like firm yet also gentle.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 2:12:10 AM

andreasubmissive

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i haven't either at the minute, but id say a Dom/me who i can be friends with, i can talk to and laugh with, but isn't going to hesitate to punish the arse off me, is ideal

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 2:52:01 AM

littlewonder

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I'm straight and not into Dommes but Master is everything rolled into one..a nice solid balance which is ideal imo.

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 3:22:56 AM

GabrielleSlave

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i am also one of those who is straight and has a Master, but thought i would answer anyways....

i like a combination really. He is vary capable of being very stern with me when necessary, but then most of the time that is not needed and He is firm, gently controlling, with a wonderful sense of humour and someone whom i naturally submit to. In scenes however, it all depends on what Wwe are doing...

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 4:09:07 AM

Focus50

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I'd say any Dom/me that's strict and stern all the time is either trying too hard to live up to other people's stereo-typal perceptions or really is an arsehole needing professional help...! At the opposite extreme is to allow too much freedom and only invites the sub to act out in search of structure and control.

Me, I like that I'm grounded and down to earth etc and have an often dark sense of humour that I like to express. So my ideal sub is one who can relax, laugh and generally share as equal, mature adults as readily as she can recognise when it's time snap to and follow instruction.

It's nothing Jekyll n Hyde or anything schizo required, merely the ability to recognise my tone and body language and do what should come naturally - follow my lead....

Focus.

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 5:48:06 AM

DarkSteven

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I, like all humans I know, have both moods. That said, I don;t like the implication that sternness is not compatible with being soft spoken. Yelling is a sign of loss of self-control. Although I HAVE yelled on occasion, it's not something I'm proud of. And when I have to discipline, it's done quietly.

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 5:57:59 AM

MissDominae

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I much prefer just being myself; that is, quietly spoken and with a spontaneous sense of humour and an enjoyment of play in all its senses.   That said, any submissive I am with knows that I have an edge to my moods and my humour past which they progress at their own peril. I rarely raise my voice even then though; I tend to be at my most "dangerous" when I am at my most seriously and quietly spoken.

Ultimately, it is my wishes and my moods which determine how any session, meeting or social gathering goes.   I try not to be capricious and needlessly cruel unless there is a mind fuck or other purpose being served but I am also far from boringly predictable.

So, I can be stern and strict, I can be whimsical and playful, I can be aloof and unapproachable, I can be fun and engaging ..... I can be all within the space of a session or I can be something else again - as *I* choose.   I do not have a set *Me* which I present to my submissives; that would make things far too predictable and too easy for a submissive to attempt to anticipate and/or manipulate.   I am whomever I choose to be at any given time, according to my needs and wishes and, to a lesser extent, the dictates of the setting and the requirements of the submissive concerned.

Life is far more fun when, although I know the absolute parameters within which I choose to operate, even I do not know for certain what mood will dominate until a scene unfolds. This would not work for everyone but it works for me.

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 6:19:55 AM

daddysliloneds

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i've never been an either/or type of person.

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 7:46:29 AM

brandi1379

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I like a combination of both. I like for him to be strict and soft.

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 10:56:46 AM

CalifChick

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I was talking to someone for a while and after a bit I finally figured out what was making me uneasy. I felt like I was in trouble all of the time, even when I wasn't doing anything wrong. He was a bit too stern.

I am now with someone who calls himself "middle-of-the-road dom". We laugh and joke alot, and he knows just how hard to "yank the chain" to get what he wants from me, when it is necessary.

Cali

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 11:37:53 AM

oceanwinds

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There is something about a stern Dominant that catches my attention. The ability to not shout and carry on like a fool, yet having a master of their own voice is necessary for me. I do not appreciate anyone screaming at me, and will automatically tune them out. Nor would I serve a person, in my case a man who displays those characteristics. I do not like bullies or whiners, and find it very hard to take them seriously. Respect from me to them would be nil. They have no dignity.

Strict has it's use, but a willow tree has more use. I prefer someone who can bend when they feel it is appropriate, instead of being stuck in the mud by their own pledge to being 100% strict.

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 2:57:28 PM

janiebelle

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Stern and strict are not incompatible with quiet.
The most imposing and dominant men I have known were not loud.
Their look, manner, and tone of the voice are impressive in their own right.
And when a man like that gets close to you and speaks right to you, you know that he means what he is saying, and it's much more intimidating than any man who goes to yelling.
YMMV
j

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 3:10:55 PM

littlesarbonn

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I've actually been giving this a lot of thought lately because I was once owned by a very sensual woman who was hardly what I'd consider either stern or strict. Yet, everyone else who came in contact with her was both enamored with her and would also admit to being scared to death of her and her stern, strict reputation. But with me, she was always such a wonderful woman, kind, friendly and just so soft and gentle. Yet, there were times when I messed up where I was immediately reminded that she was in charge, and messing up was NOT an option.

It's hard to describe when someone has such a perfect balance of being perceived as strict and stern, but at the same time is so comfortable that she doesn't even have to attempt to be either.

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 4:15:37 PM

FawneTwo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: janiebelle

Stern and strict are not incompatible with quiet.
The most imposing and dominant men I have known were not loud.
Their look, manner, and tone of the voice are impressive in their own right.
And when a man like that gets close to you and speaks right to you, you know that he means what he is saying, and it's much more intimidating than any man who goes to yelling.
YMMV
j

YES! Sometimes it what he doesn't say... The look. A touch that makes me shiver. Quietly powerful and all man. janiebelle thank you

< Message edited by FawneTwo -- 6/28/2009 4:26:58 PM >

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 4:20:27 PM

FawneTwo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

It's hard to describe when someone has such a perfect balance of being perceived as strict and stern, but at the same time is so comfortable that she doesn't even have to attempt to be either.

sigh...
i'm not nearly as eloquent

but my hearts in the right place

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 4:27:04 PM

Rhembein

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quote:

It's hard to describe when someone has such a perfect balance of being perceived as strict and stern, but at the same time is so comfortable that she doesn't even have to attempt to be either.

Perfection! <licks lips>

I'm another who is straight, but thought I would give my $.02 as well, although it seems to be the same as everyone else.

Perfection, to me... is a combination of loving and firm. It should be so much a part of Him that He doesn't even notice the difference. It should take such a slight change in voice or a certain look with His eye that will immediately put me in my place.

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 5:41:35 PM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SmackNMe

Who likes a stern, strict mistress? or is it playful and quietly spoken for you?

I don't have a Mistress, but Sir is all things. He's quiet and gentle, yet firm and sometimes strict. Even when He is correcting, He does it in a firm yet gentle way. I can always tell immediately by the tone of His voice whether He is pleased with me or if I have done something wrong. Nowhere does it say that quiet and gentle cannot coexist with firm and strict. I am so lucky to belong to Sir. I read so many subs' posts on the boards complaining about their D-types & I count my lucky stars every time.

~edited for spelling~

< Message edited by sweetsub1957 -- 6/28/2009 5:43:27 PM >

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 6:05:32 PM

kallisto

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Tones of voice in my Dom (so can looks, but that is another subject)

can make me weak in the knees, hang my head, hold my head up proud, make my panties wet, or just about anything else I can think of. Being strict and stern are sometimes needed and wanted, but I certainly would not want it all the time. It's quite settling and fulfilling when quiet, gentle, loving, stict, and stern coexist within her Dom without any effort whatsoever.

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RE: Stern and strict or combo? - 6/28/2009 6:27:29 PM

AlchemicMelody

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I don't have a Domme yet. But I would most likely get along with one who is a nice mix of those. :)

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