Why tells subs what to/not to write and what pics to/not to send?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Why tells subs what to/not to write and what pics to/not to send?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Why tells subs what to/not to write and what pics to/not to send?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Why tells subs what to/not to write and what pics to/no... - 3/16/2007 8:27:30 AM

rskenderian

Posts: 48
Joined: 3/6/2007
From: Coventry, CT, USA
Status: offline

Hi Ma'am's, Mistresses, and Dommes,

i have heard so many complaints - from both chatrooms and profiles - in the two weeks i've been here about male subs simply not knowing -actually clueless about - how to approach a Domme.

i'm bisexual (unless my Owner prefers me not to be), and have looked for some male lovers at times, and it's pretty fruitless. No matter WHAT - i always get a penis-pic, one sentence or a portion of a sentence, always mis-spelled and gramatically horrid ... and that's it. Unbelievably, many a men think "making love" is a novel idea, and actually write to me that they would "really like to try that." Sure. Let's try that. i remain speechless. What am i supposed to do with that?
It is truly frightening that out of 100 men, perhaps one is worth my 'training'(?) or 'teaching'(?) or 'educating'(?) how not to be so offensive to me that i simply don't wish to see or hear them. i have advertised for an "Elder Gentleman, Top/Dom" and received utter ... i'm ashamed to say.

i empathize.

But, are You not doing Yourselves the most greatest dis-service possible to Yourselves in posting in Your profiles about how to contact You, what subs should or should not write, and how they should write it, and what pics subs should or should not ply You with?
Tell any buffoon what seranade to sing You, and that's the serande You'll likely get. Now how are You supposed to tell what's authentic and what's not?

Believe it or not, there are respectably-actualized, very real, highly-intelligent, loving, gentlemanly, knightly, powerful men around who deeply crave a loving and strict Domme, who have weaknesses they cannot overcome without their needed Domme, who cannot function without their needed Domme, who cannot live without their needed Domme, who do not even want to think about living without their needed Domme, who need a Domme to love them and care for them and that nothing else is possible or worth living for, and who realize all of this quite acutely, and feel and therefore act accordingly. i know this for a fact - i'm one of them. Here's some truths about a quality sub/slave:

- You will never have to tell me how to approach You. You should never tell me how to approach You. i should know how to approach You; if i don't, then You pass on me because i'm not good enough. You reply that i'm not good enough, and that i fail to gain Your interest. You can have a form letter for this purpose, since You will send it out a lot, most likely;
- You will never be offended by my letter of interest. If You are offended, then i need to start back at square one. This can be in Your form letter, too ..."you need to go back to square one, and start over;"
- You will always have a proper photo of me available. The photo You want of me is in my profile - where it belongs, if You're interested;
- i will never send a photo in a letter of interest. The photo You want of me is in my profile - where it belongs, if You're interested;
- i will never send my photo in a reply to my letter of interest ....

- i will never require any instructions on how to contact You with a letter of interest. Your honest profile will tell me everything i need to know ... won't it?
- i will never take the lead in asking questions; i will follow Your lead. That is why You're a Domme and i'm a sub. You provide me with permission to do as You do, by doing what You do. i will never attempt to push further than where You permit me to go, whether spoken , insinuated, or unspoken. It is up to my excellence to pick up Your permissions - however You give them.

i am not a veteran at all. i've had one three-year D/s relationship and the slightest experience in this type of venue. This is all extremely simple and need never be spoken. If i am a sub, if i am a man, if i am an adult, then these simple things are simply obvious ... aren't they?

But i see that, as long as You continue to prematurely 'educate' what are really uneducatable subs (if they're 30 years old, do they really need that kind of remedial education, as if they haven't had it already in everyday life? i can understand if they're five years old....), then you will have uneducated subs You 'educated' getting through Your most important first line of defense, which is ... their own mistakes! Doesn't that just tell You everything You need to really know?

Now You end up corresponding with them, only to find out - surprise! - they're actually uneducated and are clueless about how not to offend You. Then You complain about it.

Do You want Your sub to say "Thank-You" when appropriate?
or...
Do You want Your sub to feel so grateful that they need to express their gratefulness by saying "Thank-You" not because it's appropriate, but because it's true?

i think i'm seeing far too many (and i think one is too many) Domme profiles telling subs exactly what they should never be told - which ends up really being; how to fake their way in to a Domme.

In fact, from what i'm seeing, the vast majority of Dommes are prematurely educating subs and telling them exactly how to simply go through the motions, instead of waiting for a sub who knows what to do and why.

i don't like it ... at all. There is no possible way i want to be associated with what i know and have seen is out there as subs, Doms, men in general. In no way do i want other subs or men to be educated on how to emulate what i do for real. In no way do i want other subs or men to be told that they should write something of substance, like i naturally and always do because it is so obvious that it need not even be said and is the entire purpose of why i would write something in the first place. No, no, no, please, no; i do not want there to be any confusion what-so-ever about who's who.

It seems to me that this premature education is an act of desperation. i can understand that; i'm desperate. But what possible good end can come of it? Disappointments upon disappointments.

That a Domme does not see that They are doing Themselves and each Other the biggest dis-service possible by 'educatng' men about how to appear like a real sub, means that Those who 'educate' in Their profiles are not worthy of a proper sub/slave. Why? Because if a Domme does not understand the nature of the tremendous backfire She is doing to Her own Self and to Others, how is She supposed to ever understand the nature of something i do which backfires on me???
i need my Domme to see these things for me. i need my Domme to catch every one of my mistakes. i need my Domme to make the right decisions for me. i need my Domme to absolutely catch me on everything, not let me get away with anything, hear every time i'm out of tune and tune me easily, reward me for my excellence, punish me for my destructiveness.

i shouldn't even be writing this post.... i'm prematurely educating uneducated Dommes, and now i won't be able to tell the difference anymore between Dommes who are behaving destructively out of laziness and Dommes who are in control - simply by looking at Their profiles and seeing if They are educating the uneducatable. That's what professional services are for .... remedial training. i can do that, but i cost a lot for that kind of offensive work. But, i just, just, just CANNOT STAND other subs being educated to emulate in mechanical behavior what i feel and therefore do for real. For e/Everyone's sake, please stop.

Please. Unless i am missing the larger point of things.

Thank-You for reading; it is very important to me; and i believe to everyone.

*end of weekly rant*

- puppy "richard"