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RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:11:30 PM

mstrjx

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To the OP ...

And you got into professional basketball thinking it would be a non-contact sport!

As to the issue ...

I'm rather surprised to see that others are more tolerant about how far people can go whilst 'playing'. I've given my fair share of multi-day welts in my time, and while I don't think I don't see myself as an extremist I will freely admit I can play pretty hard if that is what a partner and I would want.

I will slap, no question about it, but I would never do anything that I thought would cause a black eye. Anger isn't an issue for me, and playing in anger is unthinkable even on the rare occasions I'm more than a little upset.

But that's me.

Jeff

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Post #: 21

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:11:50 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail If you look at my picture on my profile there is a very obvious scar running up and down on my forehead between my eyes, I would like to tell elegant stories about it, but as it happened I was on my KNEES scrubbing the kitchen floor and opened the cupboard looking for something, and don't have any convienient or cogent way of saying this ----------------since it was open and I held the handle firmly in my grasp, the upshot was that the gods of the mundane directed, nay---commanded that I run my head into the corner---------
no other explanation, but that is what that is.
William Holden

Oh the the gods of the mundane would ordain such a fate for me. wistfully,june

< Message edited by junecleaver -- 3/17/2007 7:14:26 PM >

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Post #: 22

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:13:25 PM

junecleaver

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

And you got into professional basketball thinking it would be a non-contact sport!

No, no, no. I am a cage fighter!

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

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Post #: 23

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:20:55 PM

rainasmiles

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Joined: 3/5/2004
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i have always loved prolonged fairly intense face slapping. my former Master enjoyed giving as much as i enjoyed recieving. after a session which was a bit more rigorous than usual i woke up with a black eye. i thought it was lovely but my ex was very upset (not with me) and was concerned others might jump to conclusions. i wore lots of makeup to work for the next week or so and must admit i was very self conscious of it in public. unfortunately it was the last time W/we ever engaged in face slapping and i missed it very very much. there is an unbelievable stigma attached to some things. black eyes, no matter how much W/we seem to enjoy them is one.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 24

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:27:59 PM

mynded

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Joined: 8/20/2006
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I've had 2 in my lifetime. Both accidental but caused by my ex's. I threw a drink in his face and he returned the favor but his cup connected with the bridge of my nose. The other time was when he flung the door open not knowing I was right on the other side. Both times everyone thought I had been abused or just joked about it being abuse.

All my ex's live in Texas...

(in reply to rainasmiles)

Post #: 25

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:41:29 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well, Jesus H Christ!!!!, you gotta explain two out of them three every day of your life girl!!!!!!!!!

UncleCracker

speechless - don't know how to respond to something like that, Ron.

*backs far, far away from him*

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Post #: 26

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:42:46 PM

curiouslyseeking

Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
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Early on my journey, I was involved in a 2 year purely S&M relationship. During this, I received my first black eye with many more to follow…

The very first one, after coming down from the play, I was shocked…OMG..what am I going to do? To me, it did seem to scream abuse as I looked in the mirror and I knew that wasn’t the case at all…what would others say.?

The Dominant told me, in your white picket fence world and social circles no one will ever say or suspect a thing…I didn’t believe him at that time.

I’m still amazed that after two years with several black eyes and other visible markings, he was correct, no friends, family members or professional associates ever suspected anything and never said anything..

Truly made me think…does the all-American soccer mom working in a corporate world not get suspected of abuse or kink….just crazy accidents?

Will watch this post with interest of other's experiences...

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Post #: 27

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:45:09 PM

Sinergy

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I had a guy show up for work one day with bad bruises on his face and a black eye.

I looked at him and said "did you give as good as you got?"

He regaled me of some peurile bar fight he was in the night before.

While I think he is an idiot for getting into bar fights, he does tell a pretty good
story.

Sinergy

_____________________________

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David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 28

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 7:57:48 PM

MasterC46910

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Joined: 4/17/2006
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Even us Domly types get black eyes from doing dumb things. I have walked into a post while turning to watch a cute young lady from the back side as she passed me. Of course that turned into a young punk that blind sided me when the story was told at work.

I got completely drunk on my 21th birthday and fell face first into a brick wall. Of course my friend told everyone the scraped face and black eyes I got was because I got into it with a couple guys build like a brick wall...LOL

So the real story is sometimes funnier and more interesting then the told story...LOL

I would not worry to much what others think, because when you tell them the truth, they will not believe you anyway.

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 29

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 8:01:35 PM

Sinergy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterC46910

Even us Domly types get black eyes from doing dumb things. I have walked into a post while turning to watch a cute young lady from the back side as she passed me. Of course that turned into a young punk that blind sided me when the story was told at work.

I got completely drunk on my 21th birthday and fell face first into a brick wall. Of course my friend told everyone the scraped face and black eyes I got was because I got into it with a couple guys build like a brick wall...LOL

So the real story is sometimes funnier and more interesting then the told story...LOL

I would not worry to much what others think, because when you tell them the truth, they will not believe you anyway.

My skateboarding buddy hit a eucalyptus berry going down a street and broke his wrist.

Cast for 6 weeks.

3 days after getting the cast off, he hit a eucalyptus berry going down the same street.

Cast for another 6 weeks.

Saw him 2 days after he got the first cast off and said "dude, miss your cast?"

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to MasterC46910)

Post #: 30

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 8:10:32 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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After having black eyes from my years of karate, I cant find them sexy. I got more bruises and blackened eyes from the students I taught who didnt learn how to pul their punches than I did during my sparring matches.
Most of the time when I see them, I dont assume someone intentionaly gave them. In the context of BDSM, they hapen. They arent necessarily intentional even when they are gotten during a scene. I had a sub once who got a black eye when she was not careful twisting around while bound to a headboard. She took a head-dive into the ball on top of one of the posts and blackened her eye.
The only time I ever worry about a black eye is when the person wearing it starts acting strangely after the fact. Otherwise, its just another bruise. However people outside the lifestyle tend to equate ANY visible bruses with abuse. Sometimes the bruises are perfectly innocent and they are still flagged. I have had councelors at work "speak" to me about my karate injuries, assuming it might be domestic violence. No matter what, someoe wil always think they are steping in "for your own good".

DV

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VampiresLair

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 31

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 8:13:56 PM

Sinergy

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Joined: 4/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

After having black eyes from my years of karate, I cant find them sexy. I got more bruises and blackened eyes from the students I taught who didnt learn how to pul their punches than I did during my sparring matches.
Most of the time when I see them, I dont assume someone intentionaly gave them. In the context of BDSM, they hapen. They arent necessarily intentional even when they are gotten during a scene. I had a sub once who got a black eye when she was not careful twisting around while bound to a headboard. She took a head-dive into the ball on top of one of the posts and blackened her eye.
The only time I ever worry about a black eye is when the person wearing it starts acting strangely after the fact. Otherwise, its just another bruise. However people outside the lifestyle tend to equate ANY visible bruses with abuse. Sometimes the bruises are perfectly innocent and they are still flagged. I have had councelors at work "speak" to me about my karate injuries, assuming it might be domestic violence. No matter what, someoe wil always think they are steping in "for your own good".

DV

You know, I would rather live in a society where people see somebody bruised and go "dude(ette), you are bruised, are you ok?" Than one which immediately assumes it is not a problem.

Just me, could be wrong, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 32

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 8:30:42 PM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
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i've had 2 or 3 black eyes, depending on how you look at it. When i was 18 i had a guy hit me so hard on the side of my face (near my eye) not only did it swell up that part of my face - but it blacked both of my eyes out. (and i also got to see an interesting white light - which amazingly enough stopped me from passing out while i was driving)

and then i had one recently because i got pissed off at something said, decided to make my exit in a hasty way - misjudged the distant between the door frame and the body in the door (and i forgot there was a book case sticking out the otherside) And ran smack into the corner of the book case. Dented my eyebrow (still have the scar), my cheek and gave me a black eye.

Not that either black eye stopped me from what i was doing. I kept driving and i kept running. They dont really hurt, they're just startling.

edited to add - recently being relative and i mean it in the past 2 years

< Message edited by Devilslilsister -- 3/17/2007 8:31:32 PM >

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Post #: 33

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 9:17:47 PM

GeekyGirl

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Joined: 8/21/2006
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I don't assume anything, just for the fact that I have people make assumptions about this in regards to myself and I find it annoying.

The worst bruises I have had were "horse related" and yet people insisted I must be getting abused by my partner. "He hit you! I knew it! The bastard hit you!" Um, no, the only "he" who hit me was a dumb yearling colt who wanted to throw his head around when having his ears clipped. Sorry to disappoint you, but it wasn't caused by either abuse OR kinky sex!

In regards to kink, I've had a few bruises from face slapping but never a black eye. If I saw someone with a black eye, I would probably mind my own business rather than embarrass them by asking what happened.

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Post #: 34

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 9:48:52 PM

Lucius

Posts: 80
Joined: 6/13/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

if i saw someone with a black eye, i would automatically assume abuse.

extreme hard limit for me - i don't want to explain why mommy is black, blue and sore to my 2 UMs

By "someone with a black eye" do you mean some woman with a black eye, or would you assume abuse if a man had a black eye?

Would it make a difference if it were someone you knew worked as, say, a martial arts instructor or a police officer, or the like?

And finally, if the person in question tells you that your assumption was wrong, would you believe them?

Lucius Alexander

House of the Palindromedary

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 35

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 10:10:34 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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I would be more inclined to think accident, simply because I have had a couple myself from patients with casts, or alzheimers thrashing about. Have now learned to bob and weave a wee bit faster..

...but with that being said, If I saw it on a continual and frequent basis, then I may question a bit further...Tempting

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Post #: 36

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 10:39:17 PM

missturbation

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From: another planet
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No i wouldnt presume abuse at all. Ive just had a similar thing happen to me though. I fell off a chair in the pub on thursday night trying to retrieve a torch and banged my shoulder whilst getting up pretty hard. Its black and cut and one of my house mates asked if my Sir had done it.

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Post #: 37

RE: black eye? - 3/17/2007 11:49:00 PM

MagiksSlave

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yeah well black eyes throw distretion out the window!! I dont say abuse but what us here say doesnt matter, if you come into work or school or the grosery store with a black eye people are gunna look come in with one more then one time you are gunna get people medling in your busyness.

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
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before the devil even knows your there.

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Post #: 38

RE: black eye? - 3/18/2007 12:43:48 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
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quote:

ORIGINAL: junecleaver
How do you feel about black eyes in context of BDSM?

Nice mark, be prepared for negative reactions.

quote:

If you saw someone attend a munch with a black eye, would you automatically assume ABUSE ABUSE ABUSE? Is it sexy? Horrifying? Does it really matter?

Nope, it's great how kinky people are all gung ho about kinks and marks and showing off, until it's something that isn't on the "generally accepted kinks list" Then all that talk about "informed consent" goes flying out the window and they become like anyone else thinking that spanking is cruel and wrong.

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Post #: 39

RE: black eye? - 3/18/2007 5:27:07 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
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Owie! That hurts just thinking about it, Ron.
Did you gush blood all over the place too?
That usually happens with head wounds.

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
since it was open and I held the handle firmly in my grasp, the upshot was that the gods of the mundane directed, nay---commanded that I run my head into the corner---------
no other explanation, but that is what that is.
William Holden

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 40

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