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RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 10:52:01 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds


i have a masters degree in english; the punctuation at the end of the statement doesn't imply or change the meaning of the words used...

care to try again?


It always makes me feel good when "vulnerable adults" exceed their expectations.

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RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 12:16:44 PM   
patina


Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goodpet

It is both velvetears, rant and question.

They don't because they are not ready for real life. They think oh my job, oh my husband/wife, oh my kids..

as to not finding the local groups.. i'm with you on the bewilderness. there are groups all over... you might have to dive a bit they are there.

In SC, the most non-kinky place i can think of, there were 8 groups within a 2 hour drive.




Yes in SC but what about in OH i live in the Southern tip of Oh.  Even if they are only 2 hrs away that is a lot to ask some people to drive.  The closest group is a 2hr drive into the city or a 2hr drive into KY city or a 3hr drive in WVA city.  I have no desire to drive 2-3 hrs one way on the chance to met someone and I can't do city driving anyway, so I have to get someoneto take me.  Don't just assume I don't want real time i do i just have to decide what is feasable for me, don't assume others are lazy, scared, until you have walked in our shoes don't compare us.  For men it is different to go places than a lone woman that is a stastical fact.


patina 

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RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 12:21:43 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		hehe, after they find a group they're reaction is likely to be wtf?  That was my reaction to "munches".

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 12:43:29 PM   
solia


Posts: 115
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		Neither stupidity nor fear, but rather the lack of other real live, breathing HUMAN BEINGS willing to be open in the community.  If you happen to be lucky enough to live in a community with people who are open or you have a known club ... fantastic for you!   I've not been at all secret about my desires in this town.  And I'm not interested in driving for 4 hours to go to a club for 2 hours. 

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 12:50:17 PM   
solia


Posts: 115
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		This has been my experience, I found one on the BDSM calendar, got all hot and bothered, went to the place at the listed date and time...hung out for 2 hours ... emailed the point of contact and two weeks later got a message to the effect of 'we haven't met there for 6 months...moved to Colorado Springs..but hey! keep in touch!'  Mind you, Colorado Springs is 5 hours away.....  

Please, please, please update the sites if you are going to bother listing your group!

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 12:58:41 PM   
MasDom


Posts: 375
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		Shit...
Why don't we just hold events off of collar me.
  Save me the trouble of finding people in Toledo...

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 1:18:22 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

hehe, after they find a group they're reaction is likely to be wtf?  That was my reaction to "munches".


I recently went to my first munch.

Well, I did go to an organizational meeting for a new group that had a setup like a modern-day munch.  You see, this was all before the concept of a munch had been spit up.  After that, it was all meetings and play parties at someone's home, about 1/3 of the time mine.

Anyway, things haven't changed much over the years.  Mostly couples; the rest didn't seem interesting enough to warrant much more wasted time.

I'm not that desperate yet.  I'll hang here for a while.

Jeff

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 1:32:37 PM   
mythi


Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs
daddysliloneds - if I were assuming it would be a sentence/statement not a question, hence the question mark.
C~


i have a masters degree in english; the punctuation at the end of the statement doesn't imply or change the meaning of the words used...

care to try again?


Including the possibilites "stupidity" and "fear" in no way excludes other possibilities in an interrogative sentence.  It would have in a declarative sentence.  So, the punctuation does modify the meaning of the words used in the sentence by clarifying what type of statement she's making.  This is one of the primary functions of punctuation.

Might want to add an elective in semantics & logic next semester.



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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 1:50:48 PM   
Wisenlilminx


Posts: 56
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		If there isn't a munch in your area, start one. In the Poconos, it took over a year to get more than 2 or three people, but worked out fine. In sleepy coal region Scranton, we did a little better. Meet at the same place, same time. The worse that happens is you go out for a meal.

Muches are no big deal, just a place to start socializing and networking. Easy to do.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 1:52:55 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		It really isn't as obvious as all that.  There are some areas that are devoid of an ACTIVE kink population.  And if you do find a list that helps people find munches, ect, many times those links are busted.  Dead!  No contact, no update, nada.  Up where I am, we had to resort to starting our own, or drive 2.5 hrs to the nearest location.  For what? 
In addition many people DO find partners and enjoy a more private life.  But then are left in the cold when their relationship ends and they haven't developed the contacts to get them back in smoothly.
You are assuming that people are stupid or scared and your premise is invalid.  Those things may have nothing to do with it. 
Kyst

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 5:19:07 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

Someone explain it to me - is it stupidity or fear?


It is neither. People usually find out about the personals sites via word of mouth. They go into yahoo chat or aol chat and find rooms or other people who talk with them about BDSM. Those people are not usually local to each other and info about local scene isn't often shared. While those of us who are good at searching and familiar with BDSM terminology may think to google BDSM munch and our local city name, others have no clue what words would bring up results.

So when people who don't know come to sites like this, they ask those of us who have been around long enough to know what to put in search engines or where to find links. Rather than becoming frustrated with those who aren't as knowledgeable yet, help them out. Posting links to sites with local org listings takes all of two mins. Aren't you glad that when you were new and didn't know something, someone was willing to take a few moments to clue you in?
 
Beginners guide to BDSM munches
 
Caryl's list of BDSM Orgs Groups and Contacts
 
Canadian BDSM Resources & Links 
 
Munches and Events, UK

Dom Sub Friends

The Local Scene: USA 

  

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 5:23:25 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I'm not that desperate yet.  I'll hang here for a while.


I've had much more fun meeting a few sub friends for dinner and drinks.
And I've also met lifesylers outside of munches, for bbq's at their home or for Sunday brunch.  I'm more comfortable with that than I am sitting at a munch.


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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 9:10:16 PM   
obey1


Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

I live in a small town. If I google BDSM and the name of my town, nothing appears. I'm not willing to drive two and a half hours one way to get a better choice or one and a half hours the other way where there's just one group.

Nor am I willing to pay a babysitter for all those hours since I'd be out all night. Some of us don't have any local scenes. Now for all I know there might be a private group the next town over but it won't come up in a search.


Aha!  Now I got you!  Don't be so bitter.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 9:10:51 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy


I don't particularily like "groups" of people who think they are dfferent from the rest....I recently was eating a late nite burrito after a drink or twenty and I came across some "goths"...I glanced at one, as I completed my order, and she caught my look and said "oh you don't like us because we are different than you."  I replied ..."No. I don't like it because you are indistinguishable from everyone else that you are with, you are no different than anyone else."  You are so on mark with this!

I personally have little desire to see middle aged folks squeezed into black leather or corsetts, like wiener casings...Who think they are different but have some how managed to all be the same. This is not a pretty site! i have seen it...


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 9:24:34 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Someone explain it to me - is it stupidity or fear?
Neither or maybe a little bit of fear.
I was on alt, freaked out, and on collarme for about 9months-1year before I looked for and attended the Fetish fair flea market, than joined Neds subsequently.   It's extremely difficult to have to get over ones social anxiety, not to mention fear of the unknown (what to expect, will I look/sound like a dweeb) factors.   
I definitely don't judge people who have difficulty joining and attending public affairs, because they're afraid, anxious, private, etc...  Not to mention that one isn't always welcomed with open arms, or so I've read from submissive males.    M

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RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 9:43:45 PM   
MasterNdorei


Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		Not to mention that not all socials/munches are created equal. i have seen things happen to newbies, and had things happen to me that drove me to online encounters.

i understand what Aquatic is saying too... i saw a group divide over a Dom taking on a sub who was under 21. i have no issue with this, and really liked the girl, but people who i had known for years as open minded, level heads, came out swinging over it.

Most people at socials are seeking other dynamics than what Master has with me. In the 4-5 years i attended events, i did not meet anyone looking for what i sought. Online i found several others.

Master's dorei

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 9:59:01 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

Okay I didn't want to hijack existing threads from people looking for their scene but I don't get it.  There are ten million search engines, its pretty hard to be online and not know about yahoo or google.  And people seem to be managing to find the personals sites but can't find a bdsm group?

Someone explain it to me - is it stupidity or fear?

C~


This is quite typical of the "kommunity".
 
For me, if I found the local area lacking (and I did), I didn't whine about it..I created my own group.  If there is nothing in one's area.. they need to do something.  I can assure them that they will come out of the woodwork. Everyone waits for someone else to provide the scene in their area.  All play and no work.



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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 10:02:49 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
I replied ..."No. I don't like it because you are indistinguishable from everyone else that you are with, you are no different than anyone else."

I personally have little desire to see middle aged folks squeezed into black leather or corsetts, like wiener casings...Who think they are different but have some how managed to all be the same.


WHAT??? You dare MOCK the UNIFORM????? :)

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I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/18/2007 10:28:06 PM   
AuburnLady40


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/29/2004
Status: offline 		How lucky am I to live near enough to Atlanta, Savannah GA and Columbia SC - we have many, many groups and places to go.




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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 3/19/2007 1:44:22 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		heheh that's the benifit of being 24* cheeky grin* Seriously though I was 19 when I got interested, there were zero groups around here welcoming to me lol, they were all 21 and over.
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

[ so the 18-20 year olds have to look extra hard.


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Profile   Post #: 40
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