LaTigresse
Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
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From one that does not, nor will ever ( in case I did in the past) whine about the lack of a "scene" in my area.......personally I do not care nor feel the need to belong to any group.
When I first began exploring this type of relationship I felt all adrift and alone. "OMG, I need to find more people like me to validate my existance!!!!!"
Now, to be quite honest I don't really care. I cannot imagine that anyone that just happens to be involved in D/s or BDSM would be all that much different than any other Iowan I know. And quite frankly, anytime you get a bunch of Iowan's together regardless of the common interest, it's not much different than a church social. Cliquish, materialistic, and very junior high mentality. The only local group I have had any contact with that really interested me as far as the people/personalities involved were a bit too goth and WAY too young. I felt like a dirty old lady.
There is a regular poster on the forums that expressed an interest in meeting soon after I began posting however I saw no reason. First of all, a male of the species, second of all...gorean strutting full of himself kinda guy, thirdly........I would rarely meet someone without getting to know them a bit first, especially a guy. And.....he never volunteered any personal information, not even WHERE in Iowa, to give me reason to feel comfortable in meeting him. Just sorta threw it out there as a challenge, rather like setting one up to fail.
I don't feel the need to be a part of a "community", it's just the way I am. Granted, it would be lovely to have a few friends that shared this interest but it is certainly not necessary. All of this, BDSM, Ds.......whatever you want to call it, is part of a much bigger thing for me. To me it is a facet of how I want a relationship to operate. Belonging to a group will not create that or change it. Oh sure, to go to a big club somewhere does hold a small interest. But no more so than any club in a great culturally diverse city like say, New Orleans. I guess I don't need to belong to a group to validate how I want my relationship to work.
I don't know if that makes any sense. It might, without the voice inflections or body language, sound snooty or something. If so, it's not my intent. I just know me, how I work inside. I am by nature a fairly private and low drama person. Groups, organizations, all of that sort of thing tends to by nature be high drama, gossipy and just get on my nerves. I end up telling someone they are making a fool of themself, usually the highest drama bitch in the group........next thing you know I am creating a whole new drama by my very lack of bullshit tollerance. Or, on a good day I just walk out never to return again. I don't need the hassle or the headache.
However, if there exists within driving distance, a relatively sane person that just happens to share similar interests they are MORE than welcome to stop by the farm. We can sit around a fire, drink wine, listen to the coyotes and tell stupid stories or whup slaves by firelight. Whatever mood strikes.
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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!
Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!
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RE: WTF - You can find collarme but not your scene? - 
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