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RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 4/12/2005 10:51:37 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		We also operate on that pricinple. We train our four-footed pets the same way - they do something we like, they get praised, petted, and rewarded - if they do something that we don't like, they get ignored, or perhaps a small word of warning/correction, but minimal (I think Holly's kitten is the only one that still gets spanked, cuz nothing else sinks in LOL). I had never thought about it in this context before though ... makes perfect sense, just hadn't occurred to me.

(in reply to Oumae)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 6/14/2005 4:33:16 PM   
asissyforher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline 		i wish i knew exactly what You are talking about?

bringing out the gentleman inside? if it isn't already there ...there is something already wrong.

and as serving in a towel or whatever....i do it..in jeans/panties..naked....whatever She wants....but i am always a gentleman.

please explain what You are asking?

thank You

a sissy


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"still looking for a real life domme..no more plastic wannabes for me"

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 6/14/2005 6:05:15 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		This thread was a continuation of another thread about masculinity which got out of hand. But if you read through it, it will give you context.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to asissyforher)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/7/2005 11:20:45 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		I feel the need to pull this thread back out of oblivion ... there is a thread on another message forum that I'm on that reminds me of it, and our new boy has brought it to my mind over and over again (and, well ... I missed it LOL).

Anyway, after years and years of opening doors for Holly, and not having a guy open doors for me except on rare occation, our new boy actually *yelled* at me "don't touch that door" because I'm so used to opening doors for myself. The funny part is, I have been opening doors for him because he broke his wrist (dominant side, of course ... would be too easy if it were the hand he didn't use so much) and he can't stand it LOL

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/7/2005 12:18:40 PM   
servantpet99


Posts: 1
Joined: 9/4/2005
Status: offline 		He sounds pre-trained to take initiative, not a wet dishrag at all!

Rewarding that kind of initiative is a no-brainer. How to encourage it in someone who is really passive?

It all starts with a thought going thru his head "maybe i should open that door". or "fill up Her empty glass". Lots of guys have the thought but have been trained not to involve themselves in someone else's personal space.

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/8/2005 12:40:42 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: servantpet99

He sounds pre-trained to take initiative, not a wet dishrag at all!

Rewarding that kind of initiative is a no-brainer. How to encourage it in someone who is really passive?

It all starts with a thought going thru his head "maybe i should open that door". or "fill up Her empty glass". Lots of guys have the thought but have been trained not to involve themselves in someone else's personal space.


I know ... I know ... but now it seems that I have to be retrained *hides face in embarrasment*.

I love it that he is a nearly perfect gentleman (although well ... he is a 23 year old male who hasn't had sex in at least 18 months LMAO he can only be so good for so long, then he slips ...) - but I'm just not used to it. So ... now that I have a wonderful guy, I gotta get used to it lol

(in reply to servantpet99)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/8/2005 7:20:56 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		LadyAngelika;
=============

somehow "I" STILL lose this topic. to ME if ANY man can't just-do these things in THIS perspective.......it really makes me wonder what in hell is in his head? "I" was taught as an only child to be able to do most anything in this world on your own w/o needing to be prodded by someone else...and if MY Ms wanted ME to go bake something i would certainly go into the kitchen open 'a' cookbook and start baking all on my own w/o any outside help or prodding...

same as to routine housework etc....i do it all............i do it alone.

i seriously worry about ANY male that is not capable of doing these simple things..................................


wolf....

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"there is no gravity, life sucks!"


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/8/2005 10:48:49 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Thanks for being the voice of self reliance, Wolf!

You know, I think that these guys are pretty much capable of doing those things when they are on their own, but when faced with their fantasy, they lose it. Or else, THINK they have to be told to do everything.

I'm not sure........passive guys don't even make it on to my radar, for the most part. Just as well, since they don't need to be terrorized by a bulldozer like me!

:)Francine

(in reply to lonewolf05)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/8/2005 4:26:37 PM   
LadyofLight


Posts: 60
Status: offline 		Not sure what happened in your situtation.Some of us just seem to have a knack for not finding the 'right people and our perspective on things.
i thought recently I had found a new sub to play with,well i had actually and we were planning to meet as the interviewing had gone well.
Only it turns out he still is very much living(I think) w/ a vanilla someone and just missed having kinky sex,lol, at least my take on the situation.
Imagine my amazement getting awoken the other morning to the g/f calling wanting to know what was going on.
This was yesterday.he and I spoke briefly about it right afterward.He had originally stated he had an ex g/f that still needed to remove some belongings from his home.
I explained to him we would not play or meet until after this occurred.He said he was still in agreement and did not want me to walk away.(the conversation re:no play till she was totally gone had gone on several times over the time we have been talking.
Well anyway,I called him yesterday and asked him WTF?
he said she was moving out his weekend for good and was only there part time.He stated he had told me this(somehow,I think I would have remembered that).However, he has not called today and His cell is off,so I didnt bother to leave a message.
Even if I do hear from him soon,Its over for I'm not sure if trust can once again be established.
However I have this lil voice in my head saying he had given you his home number,you have spoken to him numerous times at that number-sure didnt seem like someone lived w/ him.
So I guess to get back to your situation...
WHO KNOWS?
SOmetimes we never find out what happened.
I'm finding this philosophy is going on in my mind for myself.

_____________________________

Life is all about ass:
you're either covering it,
laughing it off,
kicking it,
kissing it,
busting it,
trying to get a piece of it,
or behaving like one.

(in reply to Spike1777)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/8/2005 9:57:35 PM   
MistressGrace07


Posts: 100
Joined: 7/29/2005
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		One of My loves is a guy in uniform... (My jack is reguarly in uniform with his job) kneeling.....

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My Journal

"Let me make this as monosyllabic as possible" - Captain Amelia in "Treasure Planet"


(in reply to LadyofLight)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/13/2005 12:14:01 AM   
littlespike


Posts: 80
Joined: 5/21/2005
From: Austin
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyofLight

Not sure what happened in your situtation.Some of us just seem to have a knack for not finding the 'right people and our perspective on things.
i thought recently I had found a new sub to play with,well i had actually and we were planning to meet as the interviewing had gone well.
Only it turns out he still is very much living(I think) w/ a vanilla someone and just missed having kinky sex,lol, at least my take on the situation.
Imagine my amazement getting awoken the other morning to the g/f calling wanting to know what was going on.
This was yesterday.he and I spoke briefly about it right afterward.He had originally stated he had an ex g/f that still needed to remove some belongings from his home.
I explained to him we would not play or meet until after this occurred.He said he was still in agreement and did not want me to walk away.(the conversation re:no play till she was totally gone had gone on several times over the time we have been talking.

Well anyway,I called him yesterday and asked him WTF?
he said she was moving out his weekend for good and was only there part time.He stated he had told me this(somehow,I think I would have remembered that).However, he has not called today and His cell is off,so I didnt bother to leave a message.
Even if I do hear from him soon,Its over for I'm not sure if trust can once again be established.
However I have this lil voice in my head saying he had given you his home number,you have spoken to him numerous times at that number-sure didnt seem like someone lived w/ him.
So I guess to get back to your situation...
WHO KNOWS?
SOmetimes we never find out what happened.
I'm finding this philosophy is going on in my mind for myself.



Hi LadyofLight

I am sorry to hear that it did not work out with your new subie. Trust is extremely important in a relationship…


My relationship with the Domme in the earlier posts has been wonderful. It is hard to believe that it has been some five months. Seems like I love her, my Mistress, more and more everyday. I really enjoy serving her and she enjoys being served by me. Having my slave number tattoo(ed) on my ankle, on my birthday, was certainly a big event in my life….. She is a truly wonderful Mistress…………

Little Spike



_____________________________



http://www.goddessselene.com/ -- My Mistress and best friend

http://www.homepage.bannerzzz.com/ - My homepage

(in reply to LadyofLight)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/13/2005 5:12:58 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lonewolf05

LadyAngelika;
=============

somehow "I" STILL lose this topic. to ME if ANY man can't just-do these things in THIS perspective.......it really makes me wonder what in hell is in his head? "I" was taught as an only child to be able to do most anything in this world on your own w/o needing to be prodded by someone else...and if MY Ms wanted ME to go bake something i would certainly go into the kitchen open 'a' cookbook and start baking all on my own w/o any outside help or prodding...

same as to routine housework etc....i do it all............i do it alone.

i seriously worry about ANY male that is not capable of doing these simple things..................................


wolf....


Oh I'm sure they *can* do it wolf. Sometimes however it's a question of lazyness, being passive or not caring enough. As Francine said, being self-reliant is a plus. Proactive too I might add!

A partner who will think "If she comes home and sees that I did the housework, she will be in a good mood and we will be able to have a delightful evening together, enjoying one another" is proactive. He is thinking ahead. There is always the type who will think "man I don't want to do the housework... I'll wait for her to tell me... maybe she'll even dress me up as a sissy maid and we can play this all night... maybe she'll just do it herself... that would be even better... now where did I leave my beer..." ugh!

See what I mean?

If you are the former, then you Mistress has lucked out. I'm not saying that the former doesn't exist, they do... I just find them a little more rare. So many people (note that I'm not limiting this to males with submissive orientation) are all about their needs and forget the bigger picture.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to lonewolf05)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/13/2005 9:54:40 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Oh I'm sure they *can* do it wolf. Sometimes however it's a question of lazyness, being passive or not caring enough. As Francine said, being self-reliant is a plus. Proactive too I might add!

A partner who will think "If she comes home and sees that I did the housework, she will be in a good mood and we will be able to have a delightful evening together, enjoying one another" is proactive. He is thinking ahead. There is always the type who will think "man I don't want to do the housework... I'll wait for her to tell me... maybe she'll even dress me up as a sissy maid and we can play this all night... maybe she'll just do it herself... that would be even better... now where did I leave my beer..." ugh!
[snip]
- LA


Don't forget the obsessive compulsive cleaner (which is what I seem to have located) "I can't stand that this house isn't spotless ... I have to clean it NOW! Hopefully she won't mess it up when she gets home ..." LOL (and no, he isn't quite that bad, but he has already said that he is cleaning the whole house from one end to the other this coming weekend, and he has threatened multiple times to clean out my car even though I forbade him to).

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/13/2005 3:54:30 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
Don't forget the obsessive compulsive cleaner (which is what I seem to have located)


Well if you need a break from him, send him my way!

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/13/2005 4:52:09 PM   
LadyJC


Posts: 111
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		Now if I could find a subbie who would do all that for me that would be fantastic. My first subbie I met and played with turned out to be a mama's boy. Would go to his mother's 3 or 4 times a week just to eat. Ugh can't stand them.
The other one I met was a complete vegetarian...to the point where he wouldn't wear deoderant...OMG the smell. Plus I NEED my red meat, it's a must!
Both of them were blind dates set up by my mom's friends. I refuse to let them set me up with anyone again.
Then again I didn't do so well myself. Met a subbie who was a drunk who would get mean and would bitch about doing the dishes. I think I should have stuck with the mama's boy. LOL.
I'm sort of doing that looking without looking thing right now I read profiles and will answer emails. But it's so annoying.
I would like to meet someone who sometimes doesn't make me feel like a Domme but a woman as well, buy me flowers, maybe the occassional gift, have a hot bath ready for me when I get home from work. Those aren't requirements but it would be nice.
I agree, rewarding good behaviour is better than punishing bad behaviour. With bad behaviour you're still giving the subbie the attention. They're like children, if a 5 yr, old has a temper fit and you pay attention to it, they'll do it more often. But if you get up and walk out of the room and ignore it they usually stop.
LadyJC

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/13/2005 9:28:56 PM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		LadyAngelika

SweetDommes

===============

oh kay Ladies;
L.A.?
yes i am the former........i was trained at an early age as an only child and my wives wouldnt clean.,,i have done this all my life.......

S.D.?
yes........i am compulsive.........o.c.d.-------and yes i do cars too.
basements attics/yards/ YOU name it "I" do it.......


wolf

_____________________________

"there is no gravity, life sucks!"


(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/13/2005 10:58:48 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
Don't forget the obsessive compulsive cleaner (which is what I seem to have located)


Well if you need a break from him, send him my way!

- LA



Only if you agree to pay the airfare

And speaking of presents, JC ... our new boy, in the midst of dealing with idiot relatives and preparing to move out of his house because of one of them, bought me the cutest teddy bear. It's currently packed with the rest of his belongings in his car, because he had to move out today before he kills someone.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/14/2005 2:01:06 AM   
MistressBasia


Posts: 11
Joined: 9/8/2005
From: Spain
Status: offline 		I personal prefer the "gentleman" slave 100 times to the "brainless Zombie" model. A man with a proper identy is much easier to humillate ,they are sweeter to break.

(in reply to Oumae)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/14/2005 4:47:48 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I would like to meet someone who sometimes doesn't make me feel like a Domme but a woman as well, buy me flowers, maybe the occassional gift, have a hot bath ready for me when I get home from work. Those aren't requirements but it would be nice.


I know exactly what you mean. And when you get it, believe me you will feel on top of the world.

For me, they are requirements. Not in the sense that I will say to a boy "you must buy me flowers every week" but trust me, the one that buys me flowers and performs other random acts of sweetness is going to have way more of a chance of being mine then one that is passive and waits to be told.

And believe me, if you make them requirements, you will see just how much easier it will be for you to identify exactly the kind of man you want in your life and dismiss those who aren't worthy real quick. Having high standards is a very good thing.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to LadyJC)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Techniques for "teasing out" masculinity - 9/14/2005 4:49:46 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressBasia

I personal prefer the "gentleman" slave 100 times to the "brainless Zombie" model. A man with a proper identy is much easier to humillate ,they are sweeter to break.


I agree with everything here but the break comment. I like my boys intact. ;-) I’ll opt for “mould to my specifications”.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to MistressBasia)
Profile   Post #: 40
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