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Wildfleurs -> RE: Anticipatory service -- How do you learn to do it? (3/19/2007 9:58:17 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bellanotte
At a play party the other night, I was sitting with my Protector and his submissive (my mentor). He asked me to go get him a specific item off of the snack bar, which I did. Later, when I was ready to throw my snack plate away, I asked him if he would like me to take his plate to the trash. He wasn't ready for that but wanted another of the same thing he had had.
That got me thinking about the anticipatory service, about how to be aware of what a Dominant needs either just as they need it, or before they think of it. Fact is, I don't know how to do it. A friend told me that basically one has to think of what -you- would want if you were in those shoes, and then also apply any knowledge you have of that person.
I understand that in general but am not sure how it works in specifics.
Would it be something along the lines of asking if he wanted more food, or something along the lines of getting him seconds when he finished the first?
I am confused as to the specifics of anticipatory service and how to learn to serve like that, and am hoping some Dom/mes and subs/slaves can give me feedback on more specifically what anticipatory service is/means to them, and also how the heck a girl could go about learning such?
Thank you in advance for any replies, I will check this as often as I can [:)]
A lot of it to me is about looking at someones patterns over time. Everyone has eating patterns and once you learn those then its easier to anticipate what they will want. I think anticipatory service also has to do with observing what a person likes to drink and eat (what type of soda, what type of water, is it with ice or without ice, etc, etc, etc).
For instance my owner likes to eat lukewarm food, not hot food and the same holds true for coffee and such (which he likes with cream and splenda). He has particular sodas that he likes to drink generally without a whole lot of ice but fairly cold and has particular waters (poland spring carbonated mandarin orange) And when he eats he tends to eat one thing at a time, so if there is a meal of chicken, rice, potatoes, and green beans he'll usually start with the potatoes then probably move to the rice and or green beans (but not eat all the green beans) and then finish with the chicken. And he's a very deliberate eater that likes to take his time and not feel rushed. He also tends to drink soda at the begining and during pauses during meals but for the most part drinks before and after a meal. There's a lot of other nuances but hopefully you get what I mean in terms of observing eating pattersn. What I find funny is that I once pointed this all out to him and he looked pretty surprised that I noticed it.
Also I'd suggest reading this article that talks about the difference between anticipating and presuming (look specifically for the article "Anticipation versus Presumption" by Carolyn Vakesh):
http://www.wildfleurs.com/service/articles.html
I think the key difference is that with anticipating you know the person is going to do X because they always do X after they do Y. And when in doubt just ask because if you are in doubt then you are prolly going to be presuming the person needs X.
Hope that helps,
C~
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