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BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:00:17 AM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		I would just like to ask the entire forums view and OPINION on whether BDSM, its practices, its lifestyles, peer groups have an impact directly related to the running of their eveyday lives.

For example do you seek out advice from your Mistress/Master or even Slaves in preference to life outside of the lifeystle? This may seem obvious but i would like to know if there are any properties that BDSM hold that are turned to in place of the properties that Society in general use.

Does BDSM have qualities unique to itself.     

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:06:01 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bludemonn
I would just like to ask the entire forums view and OPINION on whether BDSM, its practices, its lifestyles, peer groups have an impact directly related to the running of their eveyday lives.

For example do you seek out advice from your Mistress/Master or even Slaves in preference to life outside of the lifeystle? This may seem obvious but i would like to know if there are any properties that BDSM hold that are turned to in place of the properties that Society in general use.

There can be specific issues when it comes to legalities, when it comes to custody issues, when it comes to sharing property/investments with a partner who is not legally married, but these issues are shared by homosexuals and non-married adults in relationships as well. 

We have a greater legal issue when it comes to exposure and freedom of our acts, but really those are the only things I can see as "unique bdsm related to everyday issues of life" and even then, swingers, polyamorists, and other "alt cultures" also deal with them.

quote:


Does BDSM have qualities unique to itself.     

Well in terms of its perspectives towards authority transfer dynamics in personal relationships, generally yes. 

Otherwise no. 

It actually seems to surprise people when I say I really don't have much in common with most kinky people- just being into a subculture doesn't mean you're going to ahve anything else in common with them.  And for me, being a friend means sharing my life and doing a variety of things together, not one group of things.

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:09:00 AM   
viperess


Posts: 290
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings,
While i can only speak for myself i seek out Masters advice in all things. For us even though i do work outside the home i still am His slave and all i say and do reflects back onto Him. In reality the "lifestyle" is something i live 24/7 including weekends and holidays. my society is Him.
Respectfully,

< Message edited by viperess -- 3/23/2007 11:12:14 AM >

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:12:56 AM   
darkinshadows


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Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
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BDSM is what I am and - for the want of a better word - my morals, my ethics.  I breathe and live it.
Does it have an affect on everyday life - yes.  But not because it is BDSM but because its already what I am.
But it isn't something I think about.  I don't walk down the street thinking - ooo I am a BDSMer, anymore than I walk down the street thinking - ooo I am a woman.  As a person, I enjoy freedom of expression, diversity, imagination - these are all things that I see in a BDSM environment.
 
I do not single out advice from BDSM friends any more than I do from Friends who are not BDSMers.  I simply ask the people I trust who will tell it like it is with an unbiased or biased viewpoint and still come to my own decision.  Advice is simply advice - what you do with it yourself is the ultimate end.
 
Does BDSM have qualities unique to itself?  Personally, No, but I know there are many who like to believe it does, so they can live a 'Lifestyle' that is different and better to others.  The whole sense of superiority.
 
Some BDSMers like to think theres a community structure and its better than some'nillas' or society.
Society thinks the same about BDSMers in reverse.
 

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:15:29 AM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		Greeting LA and Vipress, thank you for your personal inputs thus far, i am trying to find characteristics which define a distinction between the umbrella term of BDSM, and those who feel live under that umbrella, and what characteristics BDSM holds in how lifetsylers live their lives.

As in other 'ways of life' personally i do think there is an undercurrent of values that people relate to and live by, without this system of belief the appeal of BDSM probably wouldnt exist, what are your thoughts?   

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:17:19 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		As a CULTURE, in general forms, yes.

Try and break it down to any particular individual and no.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:20:42 AM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		So LA you are saying that BDSM as a way of life has no definable qualities?

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:21:38 AM   
bearincuffs


Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		How I am approaching this lifestyle is to intergrate it into the way I approach everyday life, so in this sense it is having an impact. What I am taking and using is to reshape my outlook and how I think about myself as a person and others. It is also another avenue to learn, understand and grow as a person mentally, spiritually and emtionally.
For the most part, I don't equate having a Master in the literal sense as someone who is severely domineering and driven to erase who I am. he is more defined as a teacher. By mutual consent, he steps in to teach, guide and reshape who I am and in turn, I agree to have him teach me that I can be more than what I am now.

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An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:22:20 AM   
viperess


Posts: 290
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		Greeting,
For me it has many definable qualities, but then again as my Master is Gorean many things are similar and many different from mainstream BDSM.
Respectfully,

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heart and chain sister to velvetvixen68

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:23:11 AM   
JSin


Posts: 40
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bludemonn

I would just like to ask the entire forums view and OPINION on whether BDSM, its practices, its lifestyles, peer groups have an impact directly related to the running of their eveyday lives.

For example do you seek out advice from your Mistress/Master or even Slaves in preference to life outside of the lifeystle? This may seem obvious but i would like to know if there are any properties that BDSM hold that are turned to in place of the properties that Society in general use.

Does BDSM have qualities unique to itself.     


I think a couple of pertinant areas that impact my everyday life would be

Consent- For me the concept of consent seems to be a higher priority to me than my vanilla peers. This also would include negotiation. For me it is normal and natural to get consent and negotiate scvope of an interaction wether it be sexual or not with someone before proceding with something. I also find I have a deeper awareness of boundries than vanillas seem to.

Power- I tend to notice how power flows through a group more adeptly than my vanilla peers. I can tell very quickly when someone is acting in a dominant or submissive manner <wether they self identify as such or not>

Both are skills I have cultivated through my experiance in the BDSM community, practice, lifestyle whatever.

JSin

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:23:11 AM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		hey Bear, so for you 'Mentoring' is a definable quality for YOU?

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:26:59 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bludemonn

hey Bear, so for you 'Mentoring' is a definable quality for YOU?

But mentoring isn't just BDSM related?
The specifics of the teaching may be  - but the mentoring itself happens in all aspects of life.


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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:27:07 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bludemonn

I would just like to ask the entire forums view and OPINION on whether BDSM, its practices, its lifestyles, peer groups have an impact directly related to the running of their eveyday lives.

For example do you seek out advice from your Mistress/Master or even Slaves in preference to life outside of the lifeystle? This may seem obvious but i would like to know if there are any properties that BDSM hold that are turned to in place of the properties that Society in general use.

Does BDSM have qualities unique to itself.     


I do always seek advice from M as he's been the best source  for years, not because he's my Master; just because he's him. That was the case before he was my master and still is the case.

My sister is a sub but we hardly ever discuss our respective D/s relationships or bdsm at all.

It entirely depends on what kind of advice I was in need of, but in general, I wouldn't consider someone into bdsm, before other sources, no.

agirl



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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:28:29 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: viperess
Greeting,
For me it has many definable qualities, but then again as my Master is Gorean many things are similar and many different from mainstream BDSM.
Respectfully,

Exactly.

IMO bdsm is a definable sub-culture.  However, many people in the scene would say there is no sub-culture at all.

In general, I think you can roughly define what this is all about.  But that really doesn't go very far once you try to ascribe it to any particular person/relationships.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to viperess)
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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:29:13 AM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline 		Hey Jsin, very good points, i can too relate to power, for me its interchangeable and recognisable that some people give off or rather exude an air of power which can be related to our animistic nature.

Its interesting to observe many people into the Fetish Club scene often 'switch' as the mood takes them in the club, they can dominate and they serve, i do feel power has a definite quality in the area of BDSM and its just a case of understanding yours and recognising others.

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A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead.

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:30:40 AM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: viperess
Greeting,
For me it has many definable qualities, but then again as my Master is Gorean many things are similar and many different from mainstream BDSM.
Respectfully,

Exactly.

IMO bdsm is a definable sub-culture.  However, many people in the scene would say there is no sub-culture at all.

In general, I think you can roughly define what this is all about.  But that really doesn't go very far once you try to ascribe it to any particular person/relationships.


So this for many people is a rather eclectic activity?

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A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead.

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:32:47 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I see BDSM qualities as just plain old human qualities.
There are as many vanilla people that have hig or low standards as there are kinky people.
I think many a person we label or that label themselves vanilla practice more kinky things than they'd like to admit.
I think in all relationships D/s or vanilla there's a certain way the energy in the relationship flows.
I don't think people into BDSM have any more specific ways to live than the rest of the world does.
suzanne

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:33:39 AM   
bludemonn


Posts: 2619
Joined: 9/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:


I do always seek advice from M as he's been the best source  for years, not because he's my Master; just because he's him. That was the case before he was my master and still is the case.

My sister is a sub but we hardly ever discuss our respective D/s relationships or bdsm at all.

It entirely depends on what kind of advice I was in need of, but in general, I wouldn't consider someone into bdsm, before other sources, no.

agirl





But first and foremost you seek his advice in the realms of BDSM as your Master? Could or would you seek advice from a person outside of the scope of BDSM?

_____________________________

A hopeless dreamer she said, eyes of cloud and feet of lead.

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:35:52 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Antenna I'm the Antenna
Catching vibration
You're the transmitter
Give information!
Wir richten Antennen ins Firmament (=We're aiming antennae to the sky)
Empfängen die Töne die Niemand kennt (=Receiving tones no one knows)

I'm the transmitter
I give information
You're the antenna
Catching vibration
Es Strahlen die Sender Bild, Ton und Wort
Elektromagnetisch an jeden Ort
(=The transmitters send image, sound and speech)
(=Electromagnetically to every town)
I'm the Antenna
Catching vibration
You're the transmitter
Give information!
Radio Sender und Hörer sind wir (=We're radio transmitters and receivers)
Spielen im Äther das Wellenklavier (=Playing the waves-keyboard in the Ether)
I'm the antenna catching vibration
You're the transmitter give information
I'm the transmitter I give information
You're the antenna catching vibration


Kraftwerk

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RE: BDSM as a Craft - 3/23/2007 11:36:07 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I think people first and foremost contact the person who is most likely to help them and/or be involved.  Since a life partner is someone who will generally be the most involved in ANY life issue, it makes sense that this is the person we would go to- whether that person is your husband or your slave.

But if I had a question about my investments, I'd talk to my partner about it, but I'd talk with people who had a good background int hat field more than another.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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