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What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 1:26:30 PM   
Marc2b


Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
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I thought of putting this in the humor section but in all honesty it belongs in the section with the word stupidity in it.
 
I am a firm believer in the notion that if you can’t laugh at yourself, you have no business laughing at anyone else. So in that spirit...

Spring is here! The thermometer hit almost sixty yesterday. So I thought perhaps it would be a good idea to take the vehicle through the car wash and get all the road salt and winter grime off of it. I pull up, wait my turn, pay the man, put the vehicle in neutral, foot off the brake and all that. Everything starts out fine. The water spraying all over the place, the big brushes twirling around when suddenly – right in the middle of the car wash – everything stops. The track stops. The water stops. The brushes stops. Even the lights go out. I’m sitting there in the dark wondering what the Hell? Is it a power outage?
 
Several minutes go by, at least it seemed like several minutes and I began to grow impatient. Am I supposed to just sit here? Is the car wash broken down or is power out across the city? Perhaps I should just drive forward. Somebody really should tell me what’s going on. This is lousy customer service. If they don’t fix this problem soon, I’m going to demand my money back. Besides, I can’t sit here forever. I’m on my lunch break and have to get back to work.

In my rearview mirror I can see a couple of people, indistinct dark shapes, milling around a car at the entrance, but nobody seemed interested in me. Well, I’d had enough. Time for an explanation. With my dander slightly up I got ready to ask just what the deal was...

I rolled down my window.

The worst part was that I knew what was going to happen a second before it did. There was a loud whirring/buzzing warning sound, the kind you always hear in the movies whenever some large piece of machinery is about to start up. I frantically tried to roll the window back up, but it was far to late.

Totally soaked in 1.3 seconds.

I managed to roll the window back up, though at this point it was an exercise in futility. As my vehicle continued on the track I uselessly tried to wipe my glasses off (I had nothing dry to really wipe them off with).

I emerged from the car wash and pulled up to the detail area (boy, were they going to have their work cut out for them today). The manager (barely suppressing his laughter) was kind enough to give me a towel and a certificate for a free car wash. Apparently the car behind me slipped off the track and that is why the machine stopped.

As I drove home (to change my clothes) all I could think to myself was: you boneheaded moron, you rolled the window down while inside the car wash. You BONEHEADED MORON, you rolled the window down while you were INSIDE THE FUCKING CAR WASH! The laughing at myself part began later that afternoon while I was explaining why I was late getting back to work.

Truthfully, I don’t know if this is the most boneheaded thing I’ve ever done (some tales will never be told) but it definitely ranks in the top five.

Okay, I’ve laughed at myself long enough. Now I want to laugh at somebody else. I’ve fessed up so now it’s all your turns. Come on, fess up people...

What is the most boneheaded thing you’ve ever done (or at least something from the top five)?

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 1:42:31 PM   
happypervert


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From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		I had a long list of home repair bloopers and practical jokes I played on myself, but some defense mechanism in my memory won't allow me to access it. Good thing -- save me from humiliating myself.

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 2:11:41 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Marc - as someone who would have done exactly the same thing in that situation, I refuse to believe it to have been boneheaded!

Boneheaded is the silly cow who managed, despite checking beforehand, to drill straight into the electric cable in the kitchen, producing a loud cracking sound and fusing the electrics for the whole place. Boneheaded is she who, having hit first the metal shield placed over the cable below the plaster, instead of checking it, thought that it was just a bit of hard brick and changed drill bits to get through it.

Where is a man when you need one?

E

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 2:12:11 PM   
LaTigresse


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quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

I had a long list of home repair bloopers and practical jokes I played on myself, but some defense mechanism in my memory won't allow me to access it. Good thing -- save me from humiliating myself.


I resemble this statement. I have many, I will get back to you.

Ohhhh, I just thought of one.

New horse, trail ride thru really really rough timber. There are about 10ish people,

I am following the property owner on his horse and his father-in-law on a mule. The rest are all behind me, including one guy I totally despise. Big mouth, thinks he is a professional trainer and knows everything there is to know about horses. Obnoxious ass.

We are facing a very wooded and very steep 40ish foot drop with a small ravine in the bottom. The ravine is about two feet deep and about 4 feet wide with muddy vertical sides.

A good trail horse would carefully slide down the hill on his ass, stop, check out the ravine, step down into then up the other side and carefully climb (with big powerful lunges)up the other side.

My new horse is not an experience trail horse AT ALL. He is terrified. He goes too quickly down the hill, sees the ravine at the bottom, gets scared, catches his foot on a tree root, almost falls down......down hill. I had a vision of him, on his back, stuck in that ravine upable to get back up, and me under him. So I bail by leaping off his back up the hill. This allows him to get his footing and stand back up.

Now, I have two guys that have already cross clear up the hill on the other side yelling encouragement. 7 or so up the hill behind me waiting for their turn, one a big mouth ass hole bellowing "advice" and one very scared horse saying "hell no!"

In my infinate wisdom I think "he (the horse) will follow me anywhere I ask him to" The terrible lightbulb pops on. Sooooo, I unhook the rein from one side of the bridle so I now have a lead rope of sorts, jump down then back up to the other side of the ravine and turn to encourage the horse to follow.

HE WAS! As I turned I saw 1000# of horse, airborne, heading in my direction. I threw myself on the ground and rolled. As I am looking UP at the horse, he is looking down between his front legs with an "oh shit" expression on his face.

That horse practically did the splits to avoid landing on me. I was very lucky, only one hoof grazed my left collar bone, fracturing it.

Not only was I in pain, I still had to climb a 40 foot tangled muddy and very steep hill. The kind you have to climb on your hands and knees.

When I got to the top, there were my two friends on their mounts, one holding my trusty steed in one hand and a cold beer and his reins in another. The other on the mule, had an insulated mug of BV and coke. Yes, drinking while riding thru evil terrain is not uncommon when you are almost in Missouri. Think insulated saddle bags.

Now myself, I usually only carry half frozen bottles of water. But, when I made it to the top of that hill, hot, sweaty and lightheaded from pain, the first thing I saw after the automatic "is my horse okay" was that big mug of BV and coke. Without a word I drank half of it. Knowing the old man like I do it was 2/3 BV and 1/3 coke with a sprinkle of ice. I made it back onto my horse before the BV hit. I do not remember much about the next few hours.

I only remember waking up asleep in the front seat of my truck in pain because I was laying on my left side putting pressure on the fractured collar bone.

I finally made it to the doc for xrays a few days later. He knows me, told me I was very lucky, asked if the shirt survived, and I had to answer no. One new denim shirt torn and stained beyond repair. But, except for a permanent lump on the collarbone I survived just fine.

And yes, that damned horse will still follow me anywhere. Gad I was an idiot that day.

OHHHHHHH!!! I almost forgot! The seven people behind me, including the big mouth professional horse trainer. Declined to take that route and rode back to the house via the dirt road. PUSSIES!!!!


< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 3/23/2007 2:14:43 PM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 2:16:03 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		most boneheaded thing I ever done???



trust a man.

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 2:25:35 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Good grief Krissy.

Rule #1 Never trust a man
Rule #2 Never trust a man


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to JerseyKrissi72)
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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 2:31:28 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		 I'm teasing...there are alot of good men out there..too bad they are all taken or gay...   I think the most boneheaded thing I ever did was tell a man I was into "water sports" when I first got into the lifestyle believing it meant water polo, swimming etc.

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 2:54:50 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Thats nothing Krissi! One of my employees told me he really loved Skat.

Turned out that Skat is a Polish transport company we sometimes work with.

E

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 3:01:13 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I burned myself crawling under a car right after it had stoped. I didn't stop to think or realize car running = hot parts. I got a second degree burn on my elbow, and I had to be taken to the ER in a tiny truck with two other big people, so room was precious to none, and every once in a while someone accidently bumped my burn.

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 3:04:15 PM   
boundkitty


Posts: 62
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Married husband #1
Married husband #2


boundkitty, not going for a third one

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 3:15:48 PM   
badwittlekarma


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		actually it was just yeasterday that i did something really boneheaded...............i have a lap top computer and there is a lil slidy thingy on the bottom of it well i was playing with it yeasterday trying to figure out where it went.... found out it went to the battery after it fell out while the puter was still on.....i just had to laugh at myself for that one..

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 3:16:22 PM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		I'm not tellin' and none of you can make me! 
 
neener neener neener...
 
hahahahahahahahahahaha
b

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 3:20:43 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Ohhhhhhhh, that reminds me of a riding mower incident I once did. I was mowing the ditch, got hung up on the culvert. Thought I would be tough and lift the front end up, over, and off.

Yanno, those engines get pretty damned hot when they have been mowing for several hours. It's not really smart to grab ahold of one with a bare hand.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 4:13:57 PM   
lonlyrossInNeed


Posts: 3144
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		trust my brother

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/23/2007 5:21:12 PM   
HydroMaster


Posts: 4786
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Status: offline 		In high school I was working in a radiology department's dark room developing x-ray films.  The films are stored in lightproof  cabinets so they aren't exposed to light and ruined when the regular lights is one.  I got in a hurry one day and turned the light on to leave.....before closing the cabinet.  I ruined somewhere in the neighborhood of $5000 in x-ray films.


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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/24/2007 3:29:38 AM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

In high school I was working in a radiology department's dark room developing x-ray films.  The films are stored in lightproof  cabinets so they aren't exposed to light and ruined when the regular lights is one.  I got in a hurry one day and turned the light on to leave.....before closing the cabinet.  I ruined somewhere in the neighborhood of $5000 in x-ray films.


I shuddered when I read this, I'm in school taking radiology and another of the students did exactly this last week in class. OMG the shit hit the fan. She was almost thrown out of the program.

Note it was not me.


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How glittering they shone -
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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/24/2007 4:44:14 AM   
WilliamWizer


Posts: 223
Joined: 3/19/2007
Status: offline 		I can only think of one very stupid thing.
I was updating the databases of the company where I worked. the mouse slipped and because I was in a hurry I confirmed the action without checking where I was copying them. I overwrote all the accounting data.
Thanks god they made a backup everyday and only that morning's work was lost and they had to re-enter it. but it toke a couple months until they forgive me.

I learned two very important lessons:
1. never ever use the same name for two diferent databases even if they are in diferent places and similar meaning. murphy law is always there.
2. always make a temporary backup of anything that can be destroyed during a database update even if it's not what you are updating.

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/24/2007 9:18:10 AM   
FukinTroll


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Good grief Krissy.

Rule #1 Never trust a man
Rule #2 Never trust a man



What about a Troll?

Slurp!

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/24/2007 9:24:21 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I backed into a neighbor's car.  It was parked out on the street instead of in their driveway.  That's no excuse for doing something so stupid though.  It was embarrasing, knocking on their door and saying "Hi, sorry, but I just backed into your car."  

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RE: What's the most boneheaded thing you've ever done? - 3/24/2007 9:27:39 AM   
MistressFeathers


Posts: 121
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		I am fantastically perfect and as such have never had a bonehead moment of any kind what so ever .............. yeah right  lol the truth is too horrible to tell.

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