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julietsierra -> RE: The Issue With Fidelity (3/26/2007 12:09:58 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl
quote:
I'm not a big advocate of scare tactics. Generally, they backfire.
juliet
Not in all cases. With some men, a woman can try to talk to him about a situation multiple times and it does no good. He might not think beyond "she's just bitching" or "whining" and block out whatever she says. With this type of man, action may be the only thing that will get his attention.
So, rather than approach relationships as an adult, making up your mind as to what you want, recognizing that the other person has the right to decide for himself what he wants free and clear of manipulation, you're saying that it's ok to try to scare someone into doing what you want them to do?
Now, why doesn't that surprise me?
Again, talk to the man. Have the integrity and allow him the dignity of his own thoughts, his own decisions. If the outcome isn't what you'd hope, then make the decision as to whether you can live with that or not and act accordingly.
It's a strange thing, this adult mode of thinking. Imagine! the presumptuousness of the idea that each person can and should choose for themselves how they want to live their lives. Imagine the audacity of recognizing that you are in control of how you choose to live your life and the other person is in control of how he lives his and that how each of you live your lives shouldn't be at the whim of someone's attempts at manipulation but something freely chosen.
What a strange concept!!
juliet
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