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RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/25/2007 4:29:10 AM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

Well...you know...you gotta hurry up and buy all the rubber dolls before they go off the market.

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(in reply to saseblubutrfly)

Post #: 21

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/25/2007 11:42:47 AM

saseblubutrfly

Posts: 39
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

I read a very interesting journal blog a moment ago..it goes something along the lines of although I am submissive and a bbw does not mean I am naive, gullible or vulnerable...strong words to live by.

Yes, those are my own words. Those I've started living by once I saw the reactivated post.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 22

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/25/2007 11:46:03 AM

saseblubutrfly

Posts: 39
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dominants out there that are kind, good and very patient

I would like to know where these are because as my luck has it I've yet to run into but two like this and we're all very good friends.

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 23

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/25/2007 4:03:00 PM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: krikket

What the old saying "Too think old self be true".

The Bard is rolling over in his grave.

"...This above all: to thine own self be true..." ~ Hamlet, Act I, scene iii

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Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you".

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Post #: 24

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/26/2007 4:25:52 AM

rmanrr

Posts: 358
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline

My two cents....is there some sort of race going on here? I mean it has taken Me 20 years for My girl to have found Me. I must have really lost the race not having had 5000 subs in that time! (sarcasm for those who don't know) As I see it, the dynamic for Me is not about how fast, how many, or any such thing. To be sure, to know without doubt....that takes time. Obviously something the Dom of the OP has a very short supply.

Be Well, Be Careful

Jarl Rmanrr

(in reply to losttreasure)

Post #: 25

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/26/2007 5:41:43 AM

nookie

Posts: 23
Joined: 3/21/2007
Status: offline

I'm probably going to be stepping on toes here.

I'm not suggesting in any form that this applies to you, your Dom or, your relationship.

I do believe that the more information we have, the better the decisions we make.

http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/Abuser/wheel.htm

(in reply to rmanrr)

Post #: 26

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/26/2007 7:40:59 AM

MasterC38

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/17/2006
Status: offline

ANY good relationship grows best slowly. flowers dont bloom overnight. you dont marry someone after a few dates, and especially before you have seen them,met with them, gotten to know them. A collared M/s relationship is just the same. if He is pushing you that hard, he is desperate, fearful, insecure, or all of the above. If He was really interested in a great slave, and not just an easy collar,He would wait. Don't let him hang you. Trust your instincts on this one.

(in reply to nookie)

Post #: 27

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/26/2007 1:49:03 PM

slave4One

Posts: 53
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Florida
Status: offline

Greetings sasebluebutrfly,
This girl has read some and just couldn't go on before sincerely urging you to follow the advice given... please, trust your instincts. This girl is speaking from personal experience and wouldn't wish for anyone to go through what she herself went through as a result of not listening and watching the warning signs. Good luck to you.
~slave4One

(in reply to saseblubutrfly)

Post #: 28

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/26/2007 3:23:51 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Aye Caramba, run for the hills girl. Quick collars are a recipe for disaster. Talk to some people here, find out how many submissives rushed into something and then regretted it deeply down the road, usually not so far down the road either. Isn't the line fools rush in where angels fear to read applicable here. Trust your instincts. I personally don't see how I could fall for someone I had never met yet. It just won't work for me. Its all an illusion till then. I don't know the dynamics, I don't know the chemistry, I don't really know her.I would be very hesitant to leave my family until I was sure of something and would not ask that of a girl unless I was sure about her and the direction we were going.

For me, and this is just for me, collaring is a serious thing. Its a commitment on the deepest of levels. It implies so many things, but has to be built on a solid foundation. How can you have that without interaction? Without nuance?

(in reply to slave4One)

Post #: 29

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/26/2007 7:57:37 PM

hawkwolf7

Posts: 85
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline

The way I see the world, which is no-doubt twisted, is that a M/s relationship encompasses all of the elements of a marriage plus all the BDSM elements. In that context, insisting on collaring you on his first live visit is equivalent to someone demanding that you marry them while you are on your first date.

I simply cannot envision a situation where complying with his desire is wise, smart, or appropriate for you. I cannot even see a situation where his behavior is to his advantage, unless he is expecting a big tax bill or something in April!???

(in reply to saseblubutrfly)

Post #: 30

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/27/2007 8:06:44 PM

saphiradraca

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/21/2007
Status: offline

If your gut is saying "Hell no" then go with your gut...

It is too fast. You wouldn't rush into a marriage, why rush into a collar?

(in reply to saseblubutrfly)

Post #: 31

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/27/2007 10:57:18 PM

azzmaster

Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

he sounds sneaky as fuck and probably just some lonely horny guy posing as a dom to find a girl without having to do the dating dance

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 32

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/28/2007 12:38:11 AM

azzmaster

Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

of course i was excited when i saw the title of this thread... thought ' hard n fast" had to b about assfucking... which of course can't b 2 hard n fast 4 me or Thor the wonderdick

(in reply to azzmaster)

Post #: 33

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/28/2007 10:54:22 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

You are being seduced. It looks like being courted but they are not even in the same ball park.

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(in reply to azzmaster)

Post #: 34

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/28/2007 12:55:20 PM

sunfleur

Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline

it sounds like you already know what the answer is.

(in reply to saseblubutrfly)

Post #: 35

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/28/2007 2:55:58 PM

azzmaster

Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

comment on shakespere... that quote" to thine own self be true" i used alot in the literal sense ...but it was satire at the time... laertes ( hamlets pop) soliliquy to his son was full of cliches of the time and meant to point to him as an old windbag , not a wise old man.... we use different cliches now so that meaning is lost unless u study with a teacher who is a shakesperian scholar... just think how many idioms today that seem droll will be misinterpreted when we are all dust?

(in reply to sunfleur)

Post #: 36

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/29/2007 6:12:04 PM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azzmaster

comment on shakespere... that quote" to thine own self be true" i used alot in the literal sense ...but it was satire at the time... laertes ( hamlets pop) soliliquy to his son was full of cliches of the time and meant to point to him as an old windbag , not a wise old man....

Ummm... actually that particular quote was the character of Polonius preparing his son, Laertes, for travel abroad.

< Message edited by losttreasure -- 3/29/2007 6:41:10 PM >

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Just because it isn't "all about me", doesn't make it "all about you".

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Post #: 37

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/29/2007 6:15:36 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Oh, and while on the subject ass is sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
but blowjobs are da bom.

lol

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Post #: 38

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/29/2007 6:32:09 PM

Slavetrainer2007

Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline

I am one who believes in "pushing" but in "performance" not in steps in a relationship. IF you have red flags going off then you are not comfortable with how fast the situation is progressing and you should not let it progress faster than at a pace you feel comfortable going at.

Dont take the next step until your ready. If he is sincere he will wait and try to help you resolve any issues you may have with taking the next step, he should lead you into the next step not force you into it.

If i was the dom in this case and you were hestitant i would wait and probably suggest a smaller step. Such a step might be:

How about you come for a meeting for a weekend and stay in a hotel( your choice on whether i know which hotel) and then we can do something a few public things togather such as go out to dinner, a movie, shopping, a show or something of that nature where you are in public with me and get a feel for me without having to be alone.

However, i typically dont have a problem with a sub throwing red flags upon meeting and the sub being worried or nervous about it. If you are throwing flags his attitude is not making you comfortable and its making you untrusting. I would persue it more online or end it, to be perfectly honest.

Remember their are just as many doms in the sea as subs. Dont try to settle for someone your not comfortable with.

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Life is given, Everything else is earned.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 39

RE: Too hard and too fast - 3/31/2007 3:25:11 PM

Totalmaster4you

Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

Many wise people have told you this does not sound like a true Dom/Domme. The real Tops go at a pace that allows the sub/slave to get comfortable with them. But the really big RED flag is he lied to you over something small which he asked for. There is no doubt he's a fake dom and I suggest you stay away.

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Sometime ago I decided it was time to change my nic. However I didn't wish to disconnect from my original profile. Since then I've signed Touch your mind (TYM or Tym). Opinions in my posts should be taken as my opinion and my opinion only.

(in reply to wandersalone)

Post #: 40

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