RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (Full Version)

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misterraymond -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/6/2009 6:18:34 AM)

Is it wrong to be a kind Master?

That is the Question.

You have to be very strict and cruel , otherwise it will not work for your sub.

You can not control with kindness.

The old phrase you catch more bees with honey, does not apply here, because for the sub to be under your control, you have already caught her, where this phrase is interesting is when the honey runs out the bees move on, as indeed so does the sub,to be a kind Master is to cuddle the sub up and make her feel safe when she is totally exhausted after a session. Doms and Dommes who treat their slaves and subs like a piece of meat before, during and after session, are not true , you must bring your sub through her experience, if she has totally submitted and taken her pain for you, she needs to know that her Master cares, that is being a Master...??

Read my Journal , if you are interested in my ways, the hidden mysteries of nature and science.



MistressDiane -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/6/2009 6:35:08 AM)

and many Sadists are unbelieveably kind even while they are giving pain.



misterraymond -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/6/2009 1:03:23 PM)

With respect Mistress Diane
Most of us know were the name sadist came from, however one should take great care if one refers to oneself as a sadist. Donatien Alphonse François de Sade, Marquis de Sade is were the word sadist came from, and it was his pursuit of personal pleasure being the highest principle, his only real principle. When one calls themselves a sadist one must understand that de Sade was incarcerated in various prisons and in an insane asylum for about 32 years of his life, and from his boredom much of his writing was done during his imprisonment. De Sade was a French aristocrat, very much a revolutionary and I guess a novelist. What is so strange , many of my subs favourite number is 7, De Sade demise was 2 December 1814, if you add 1 to 8 total 9 plus 1 and 4, the total is 14, half of 14 is 7. Also of interest with 7, is the 7 year war, De Sade was Colonel of a Dragon regiment, and fought in the 7 year war.  De Sade novels were very philosophical , and explored rape, beastility, necrophilia to name just a few , he had no respect for morality, law or religion, indeed any of his fellow human being’s. It is strange that a Madam refers to sadism and sadistic in the reply I am addressing, I am not being disrespectful just acknowledging a point that I have found with Dominitrixes and Madams, they enjoy the title of being sadistic in their art, and indeed female subs want their Mistresses or Madams to be sadistic, beautiful young women following a path of Lesbianism, will accept pain and cruelty beyond belief.
That said, I the Master I am, are not one who practises sadism, I can not subsribe to the one, a man,  who wrote his teachings, whilst spending ten years that he loved in the Bastille, and thirteen years in an asylum known as Charenton. To make a female totally submissive and compliant is not easy, a Master can not gain this result through sadism, the Masters pleasure comes from the end result, an exhausted female sub in uncomfortable sexual pain, at the end of a most fantastic journey, just a lump of jelly, released from all her wordly problems, and at perfect peace.



fluffypet61 -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/6/2009 1:12:13 PM)

(This thread is from 2 years ago.  Just saying...)



misterraymond -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/6/2009 3:24:19 PM)

Well Fluffypet..........?
Quotes and lyrics certainly interest me, as you say, “the shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that fits all cases” in reply psychology does not differ as much as a pair of shoes, people fall into specific categories, and are far easier to analyze, than a piece of formed leather. That said, my subs and slaves do not wear shoes , so the other saying does not apply either “If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot” but if the foot was my sub, she or it  would be trained to fit the shoe, not the shoe to fit the sub, if you see my reasoning. However this is another interesting lyric move your feet, loose your seat, that is quite a true one, do you not think.



DomDolf -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/6/2009 3:51:29 PM)

Loving domination is a style, we all have and develop our own style based on our satisfaction level derived from this or that.

Side note-
Two years old or not, this thread will likely help someone that doesn't understand, have experience or would like input. Seeing these topics active helps people see questions that they may not have been able to articulate until they saw it here. And if someone started a new thread rather than rekindling an old one someone would say the topic has been beat to death. Amazing isn't it? Catch 22s are a bitch. Let's keep them to a minimum, please. If I or anyone else feels a need or desire to comment on an old thread, start a new one or pass them all by that is our prerogative. I pass 99% of these threads by. They die and get resurrected at the whim of any one of us.




penitentialarts -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/6/2009 9:07:36 PM)

>You have to be very strict and cruel , otherwise it will not work for your sub.

No, you don't.  It all depends on your style of domination, and the style of domination that works for the sub.

There are no blacks and whites in life.

- Jesse



justme1980 -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/6/2009 10:20:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pauvis

I was just curious if it was wrong to be a kind Master? I am not the complete humiliating, degregating type of Master. I prefer to control with kindness. Everyone has heard the old phrase you catch more bees with honey. Is this true, or am I just looking at everything the wrong way?


No there is nothing wrong with being or wanting a kind Master



DarkSteven -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/7/2009 4:48:35 AM)

I'm a Dom.  And I'm going to be a Dom any way I damn well please.  And that will include caring (I prefer that word to "kind").

Bluntly, if I needed a stamp of approval to be me, I would not consider myself to be a Dom, let alone a Master.





blastherman -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/8/2009 4:38:57 AM)

Kindness should not be mistaken for empathy and sympathy of demands placed outside of the role relationship. Knowing that the Dom shows consideration, is a way of providing, developing and maintaining the depth of the relationship. Kindness within the D/s role will be the provision of what the relationship is based upon, being strict, in control and punishing as required is the kindness the sub often wants. Strange how kindness can be interpreted in many ways eh?



Ryana -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/9/2009 11:37:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pauvis

I was just curious if it was wrong to be a kind Master? I am not the complete humiliating, degregating type of Master. I prefer to control with kindness. Everyone has heard the old phrase you catch more bees with honey. Is this true, or am I just looking at everything the wrong way?


There is nothing wrong with it, unless you let them take advantage of your kindness (something I've seen quite a few sub's do to kinder Masters/Mistresses)



misterraymond -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/14/2009 5:50:34 AM)

To be kind and To care, are two different words, two different approaches.

If you are Kind to a sub, they take advantage.

A quality Master cares, so he is kind, but that is his secret.

MR



Leonidas -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/14/2009 9:22:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pauvis

I was just curious if it was wrong to be a kind Master? I am not the complete humiliating, degregating type of Master. I prefer to control with kindness. Everyone has heard the old phrase you catch more bees with honey. Is this true, or am I just looking at everything the wrong way?


No, it's not wrong.  It may or may not result in you having the slave that you want for yourself.  There are some slaves who respond very well to kindness.  It motivates them to want to please you, and they will go out of their way to do so.  Other slaves will percieve kindness as an opening to do as they damn well please, regardless of whether it pleases you or not.  Ultimately you probably end up fed up and ridding yourself of them.  Sometimes it's not kind to be kind.

At the end of the day, your expectations have to be met, or you aren't the master of the house, regardless of what you might like to call yourself.  You have to master the slave that you have in front of you.  You can't master a theoretical slave, or a hypothetical slave, or an average slave.  If you prefer to master with kindness, and hate being the asshole, you're wasting your time with a slave who would require an iron fist.  In the long run, the slave will just end up disappointing you, and wasting both your time and theirs.

Good luck.



petmonkey -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/14/2009 1:05:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

You know, it's real easy to yell at a sub and punish her. It's a lot harder to teach her how to do something, frequently breaking the task down into smaller steps until she can master it, and it's a rare dom who pays sufficient attention to his sub so that he can give positive reinforcement at the moment it most needs to be given.

That, imo, is both kind and effective.






RedMagic1 -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/14/2009 1:21:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: misterraymond
If you are Kind to a sub, they take advantage.

The thing about generalizations like this is that they say more about you than about all subs.  Nothing is true about all subs.  However, if this statement is true about all subs with whom you have direct experience, then we can form an opinion of you based on the women you attract -- and the type of woman who stays far away from you.



winterlight -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/14/2009 5:08:35 PM)

I would prefer kind..that is just me..



msgntlhrt -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/15/2009 11:40:23 PM)

I hope it isn't wrong...I'm hoping to find a kind dominant.



DarkSteven -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/16/2009 4:32:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: msgntlhrt

I hope it isn't wrong...I'm hoping to find a kind dominant.


Of course it's not wrong.  Your needs are your needs, and there are a helluva lot of people on collarme that you can browse to see if they fit.  Happy hunting!



MarcEsadrian -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/16/2009 12:05:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pauvis

I was just curious if it was wrong to be a kind Master?


Simply, no.

It's wrong to confuse being kind with being a pushover, however. "Dominant" men fall into that trap all too often with "submissive" women.



LaTigresse -> RE: Is it wrong to be a kind Master? (7/16/2009 12:53:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

Simply, no.

It's wrong to confuse being kind with being a pushover, however. "Dominant" men fall into that trap all too often with "submissive" women.


More true words were never spoken.



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