sierranights
Posts: 7
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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Alot of good comments! I too atempt to be polite, it is how I was raised, it costs me nothing to perform, and in the end it actually gains me perhaps respect.
Like Padriag (?) stated I believe that courtesy and politeness is a necesary function of life, for the sake of communication. That said, I feel that some people think that being impolite equates to disagreement. Which it does not. Being polite I think is the ability to express your opinions, yourself in a manner that does not need vulgarity, that does not feel the need to cut down/accuse/blame/irrationally attack/force change of another person. Many things can be said with tact, and in my experience, it has far more power than those things said with "nastyness". It gets things done both for yourself and others. It encourages communication of ideas. It validates social tolerance. I think also it reflects upon YOU, more then anything, about your philosophies of life. Though I am far from perfect  , and I have been to known to be...errhm not so polite. As an example that happens in real life perhaps of courtesy, if I am outside smoking my cigarette and an elderly person comes up to the doors, I will open the door for them. It costs me nothing, and in most cases helps them. On the bus where seating is specifically reserved for those with disabilities, ect, and there is a 17 year old sitting there and he does not offer his seat. That in my opinion is rude. I have stood up with my baby in his pouch in such a scenario. There are/seems to be some common sense that is directly linked to politeness and courtesy and respect. The bus scenario is as much based on respect for our elders as it is for safetly reasons....the body of a 70 year with a cane or the child of 2 years old cannot handle the constant stopping and starting of the bus, like the body and strengh of a 20 something.
As for respect, I think we all do deserve a basic level of it. I respect all people at a certain level. Like a few other stated, it is in varying degrees, based over time and your actions. But the first time I meet you, i respect the fact that you are breathing, feeling, thinking being.We share this world. All of our actions affect it in one way or another. Respect in the grand scheme is what perhaps keep us alive. We respect the laws of the land even if we disagree with them. If we were to be completely self centred as some philosophers say we are we would live in complete choas (yes I know some people want this lol). We do not have to be prostrating ourselves to anyone, nor take their word for gospel, but at a basic level, we all have the right to live, to feel, to think how we do as human beings and *I* think we should all respect that right. Respect within this lifestyle is what allows things like protocol and safety to be ingrained. Perhaps though in some ways people expect too much respect, or perhaps some equate respect with worship. Anyways I am rambling now lol
I guess angel (hope you dont mind me calling you that), as a human being *I* respect your right to come and post your opinions; maturity and courtesy demands I respond in kind. It does not give me the right to make inflamitory comments, nor take out my stress of the day on you. Do I respect you enough that if you gave me advice that I would take it without question; no. (well for the record, I love reading your responses, I find you very intelligent, polite, articulate and probably sage). I equate someone's maturity with their ability to communicate, and their ability to present themselves to the world in a polite manner. Those who's actions are courteous, I find I respect more, for those who are willing to help others (opening doors, giving up seats, taking the high road and NOT responding in kind to raod rage, those who unerstand and respect the use of safewords) are what makes this *imho* a better, safer, kinder world.
And finally, to me I believe we reap what we sow. If you choose to live your life without the above mentioned things, it will affect you. When you are in need of help, it might not be there. Most often, it is easier to walk away, ignore, turn off the computer, stop accessing certain forum boards, or even taking the established route of getting someone kicked off of <insert whatever organization, boards, workplace>, then it is to engage in petty, meaningless ranting that in the end only serves to show others that you are immature and just as rude and therefore not *worthy* of talking too.
P.S. I think that Padriag and Lily did an excellent job of showing how communication is affected by courtesy, politeness, and maturity. Also, I apologize for the casual use of names and I hope I got them right. I had never even intended to respond...and now I am late =)
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RE: Why is politeness and respect such a big deal in BDSM? - 
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I took it as disagreement, that you found my views as unfortunate. Good thing we got that cleared up! 
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