quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone

I grew up knowing that my rightful place was 'behind the men' so to speak. I was taught that women deferred to men in all things. It is something that I am comfortable with and have no desire to change. It is what has shaped my personality. Yes, I defer in all things to those who I see as superior to myself. I do it without thought. Whats more, it is a behavior that I have no desire to change. I am submissive to all, at all times, in all ways. However, this does not mean that I am walked on, taken advantage of, used, abused, ignored, etc etc. It simply means that for myself, I know my place, and it is not out in front gathering attention. If this makes me a doormat, then all I can say is that I make one heck of a doormat; and I proudly display it for all to see.
 
Master enjoys this personality trait of mine. It is not something that he said 'you will be this way and this way always'; I was this way when he met me, and from all accounts, he is quite happy with me this way.
 
So yes, I am submissive to all; in every way, 24/7/365. Not because Master says I must be; but because it is within my nature to be so.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

It is an interesting thing...perspective and semantics.  The type of woman you describe above...defers to men at all times or to those she feels are superior...is the type of woman I consider as being courteous and somewhat "traditional" in her behavior.  But in my world, this is an attitude of respect and deference, not submission. 

People say set aside the sexual aspects of submission...alright, let's do that.  You say that you are not just courteous and deferential and respectful but "are submissive to all, at all times, in all ways".  Does this mean that another has the same level of control over you in every other way except BDSM play or sexual play?  That if I were to become friends with you and your Master because we live in the same town and you both come to respect me and I come to respect the two of you that I could then expect you to incorporate my thought processes into your own?  My desires and wishes would become just as important to you as your Master's?  That I could suggest to you that you could do something in a different way than what you are doing it now and you would then change your ways because I told you to?  That I could tell you that I prefer that when you are spending time with me without your Master that you wear red and you would do so?

Not trying to flame you nor even argue with you.  As I noted in my first line, perspectives differ.  Semantics differ.  I am trying to get clear in my head whether or not your definition of submission to all is what I would call deference and respect and courtesy to all but stopping short of submission, which in my world means incorporation of My thoughts, My feelings and ideas, processing those and responding accordingly; it means yielding control to me such that your yielding of control over you to another would be at my behest, not at your own.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone

quote:

Does this mean that another has the same level of control over you in every other way except BDSM play or sexual play?  That if I were to become friends with you and your Master because we live in the same town and you both come to respect me and I come to respect the two of you that I could then expect you to incorporate my thought processes into your own?  My desires and wishes would become just as important to you as your Master's?  That I could suggest to you that you could do something in a different way than what you are doing it now and you would then change your ways because I told you to?  That I could tell you that I prefer that when you are spending time with me without your Master that you wear red and you would do so?

Greetings
 
If I am walking on the street, and see a man coming towards me, I will stop, move to the side, lower my head and wait for him to pass.
I do not speak up during a conversation with others unless I have been asked a specific question or my imput was asked for. This includes with people I have just met.
If Master has friends over, I wait on them just as he would expect me to do so.
If Master has friends over and he decides to let one make use of me for the night, then I will please that person just as if it was Master himself.
When Master is overseas, if a friend of his calls and says we are coming over have dinner ready for us; I will have dinner ready for him and any who he brings over with him.
 
Not sure if your questions were answered or not
 
I wish you well
 
melissa

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

this slave's opinion is that not many refer to themselves as doormat, it is generally someone else doing the "name-calling" in a derogative way as a holier-than-thou judgement about someone else's expression of their personality.  this slave has heard vanilla wives do the same thing referencing other vanilla wives, except the derogative name called is usually "slave", and they are referring to a woman who submits to her husband completely, which they also deem "unhealthy".
 
this slave resembles a doormat and doesn't see the term as derogatory in spite of the way others intend it.  doormats are useful, sometimes colorful, dependable,sturdy and have very few limits, if any.  around holidays, they can be festive and inviting.  sometimes, they make us smile with a witty remark, but they always have their own special place to be, a job to do and are ready and waiting to serve.
 
at present, this slave is an owned doormat~Master decides who will use her, how and when.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

as for the idea that being a doormat is unhealthy, this is true for many. however i would add that even in the cases where this is true, if this is one's nature, who they are at the core, what on earth is wrong with them accepting this and possibly learning how to manage it so that less damage is done? the right Dominant will know how to properly take care of a "doormat" submissive, seeing that she is protected and guided, without eradicating her true nature.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave
The main difference as I see it is one can be a sub/slave and be very emotionaly healthy, one cant be a doormat and be emotionaly healthy for beeing a doormat is a symptom of emotional instability.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I agree with you MagiksSlave. I personally do not like doormats and would not want to be involved with them. What is my definition of a doormat? To me a doormat is a sub/slave who bows down to everyone and allows themselves to be treated like shit. Or it could be they bow down to one person and allows that person to treat them like total shit. What do I mean by being treated like shit? Here is the example

Example: MasterD goes to the bar and gets into a verbal confrontation with another man, he backs away from the other man and goes home seething. As soon as he walks in the door his girl comes to meet him and she is greeted with a right hook to the jaw. Angrily he beats her and takes out his frustration on her and she allows this to happen.

As far as I am concerned they both have a mental problem. He is wimp who won't try to hold his own against another man but is very willing to beat someone he knows that will not fight back. She is a doormat because she allowed him to do this to her.

I have no respect for either person in this example, in fact they are pretty much nonhuman in my eyes and therefore not deserving of any respect.

~Lashra

quote:

Thank you for posting Melissa, my thoughts are, we ALL have a right to behave in ways that work for us.
Calling others names such as "doormats", etc. is just negative.
If you are happy with your behavior and your Master is happy, that is all that counts.
Just as the Strong Submissive can shout from the rooftops, the Quiet/docile ones also have a right to exist.
It is nice having you around.

quote:

ORIGINAL: trampledslave1

when people in general talk about doormats,they are speaking figuretively. but when the bdsm comunity talks of doormats they could be talking about people who accually lay down while another walks on their prone body.it's a power exchange many people partake in. it shows the  statis of the human doormat and of the person[ussually a woman]who has the power to walk all over their slave

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

OK Here is my theory. I hear a lot about doormat sub/slaves but the way that I see it is that there is a big difference between a doormat and someone who is submissive. Ok here is how I see it. A sub/slave is a person who wishes to give up controll to the one that owns them and to those that their owner wishes them to. A doormat is a form of emotional disfunction or disturbance, a doormat is someone who allows others to take advantage of them allowing people to use them even when it isnt emotionaly healthy or good for them to give what ever it is they are giveing. The main difference as I see it is one can be a sub/slave and be very emotionaly healthy, one cant be a doormat and be emotionaly healthy for beeing a doormat is a symptom of emotional instability.

Now these are just my thoughts and opinions and I would like to hear what others think on the subject.

Magik's slave

quote:

ORIGINAL: trampledslave1

hi,Magiksslave,  i'm in this lifestyle for many yrs, yes some women will place there shoe on a slave and walk full weight on his body. search trample on a search engine such as google

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

OK Here is my theory. I hear a lot about doormat sub/slaves but the way that I see it is that there is a big difference between a doormat and someone who is submissive. Ok here is how I see it. A sub/slave is a person who wishes to give up controll to the one that owns them and to those that their owner wishes them to. A doormat is a form of emotional disfunction or disturbance, a doormat is someone who allows others to take advantage of them allowing people to use them even when it isnt emotionaly healthy or good for them to give what ever it is they are giveing. The main difference as I see it is one can be a sub/slave and be very emotionaly healthy, one cant be a doormat and be emotionaly healthy for beeing a doormat is a symptom of emotional instability.

Now these are just my thoughts and opinions and I would like to hear what others think on the subject.

Magik's slave

Doormat implies allowing someone to "walk all over you" - so my definition of a doormat would be a submissive who allows  her dom to do things that go against her limits or that harm her in some way.  A "doormat" doesn't have boundaries - they don't understand themselves well enough or value what they offer enough to be able to say, "hey this isn't right for me" - their total focus is on being found pleasing at any cost.  i don't think doormats believe they are entitled to much in return.  i also don't think a dom who treats a sub this way has much to offer.