Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Meeting a Potential Mistress


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Meeting a Potential Mistress Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 9:56:13 AM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		So here is my situation...
I am an unexperienced woman who considers herself to be a submissive.  For the past month-ish, I have been conversing on this site with one Domme in particular.  She has recently moved into the area, literally half an hour away, and we are discussing meeting in a casual situation (think Starbucks for coffee) to see if we have as much chemistry face to face.
Now, our "relationship" is very friendly and playful, and by no means set-in-stone, so I was wondering...Would a small gift be appreciated and acceptable upon meeting?  I don't want to seem over-zealous, but I saw a cute silver bracelet that made me think of her, and I  want to give it to her. 
I would love to hear some ideas over whether this would be acceptable/appreciated.  Thanks!
Rose
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 10:18:26 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I think you might want to want on something like jewelry or anything more than an offer to pick up the cheek if you aren't crystal clear on how she feels about gifts.

Jewelry can be very symbolic to some people. I had two friends once who were dating, they actually did a bit of SM bedroom stuff (funny they'd both say they were the ones topping!) and had been dating for over four months when he bought her a necklace. She freaked out and they broke up. For her, jewelry was a sign of a serious committment.



_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 10:29:37 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I think the Mistresses reactions can be any numerous reactions out there.
She may love it, she may hate it, she may fear what it symbolizez etc...
I'd say for a first meeting maybe a single rose or something & offering to pick up the tab would be as far as I'd go without wondering if it would cause her to wonder what my motivation is.
The 2nd date, or later would be a better place to give her the bracelet.
My personal experience is if a guy buys me something expensive right off the bat he's showing low self esteem and thinks he has to buy his way in, he's trying to have some quick strings attached for leverage power in his mind or things matter to him signifigantly which makes him materialistic.
Either way I would refuse (and have refused) expensive gifts on first dates as they made me very uncomfortable.
suzanne

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 10:34:03 AM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		as some of you know, i am going to be traveling to Arizona from Georgia to meet a Mistress friend of mine from IRC (Internet Relay Chat for those who don't know what that means). i will be traveling via Greyhound and it will take a little over 2 days to get there. any suggestions on what would be a good gift for a first meeting with a Mistress that kicked out the money for the trip there (i'll be paying my own way home)?

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 10:40:43 AM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Likely a small gift would be appreciated, but I would not consider jewelry to be small.  Jewelry is typically a sign that you want to make a commitment to another person.  Your hunch that this might be seen as overzealous is spot on.

Things I've gotten on a first meeting that felt appropriate were a box of my favorite chocolates, a bunch of my favorite flowers, a tiny little glass genie bottle, a funny bottle of wine after I mentioned that I liked Austrailian wine (not all from the same person!).   As a caution, I think sometimes people can put a lot of pressure on themselves for a first meeting, bringing all of their hopes and dreams to a cup of coffee meeting.  Of course, you don't have to bring anything but your wonderful self, and just enjoy your get together.

MSS

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 11:33:03 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill
Either way I would refuse (and have refused) expensive gifts on first dates as they made me very uncomfortable.


I agree entirely.  I think the idea of a single rose and offering to pick up the tab would be better for a first meet.  I don't mind if a sub brings flowers, or a small book on a subject he knows I am interested in, etc.  Some Dommes like candy, but I am not one of them as I am watching my weight and really don't appreciate that as a gift (though I would be gracious about it).  An expensive gift like jewelry would make me uncomfortable and I would not accept it at a first meeting.
 
The gift of the silver bracelet might be good after you have gotten to know her better.  There are some things to consider, though.  For several years, I wore gold jewelry only and never wore silver jewelry of any kind.  I have friends who don't like bracelets and would never wear one.  Not all bracelets fit all wrists. I am large-boned and have received bracelets as gifts that I have had to have resized.  After you get to know her better, you can better determine the type of gift she would appreciate receiving.
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 11:47:13 AM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I agree I'd definatly save the bracelet for another time, if you have already bought it and this works out it will be a lovely gift down the line when its apropirate to your relationship, and mean something special becasue you had it already waiting and knew she would love it.

_____________________________

Proud mistress

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 11:49:24 AM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		I think you should just turn up. No gift or anything else. Your there to meet and see how things go. The 2nd date id bring a small gift but nothing more.

Also as for paying for the coffee's etc I would play it by ear. You are a pretty girl and there would not be many like you out there so if anything she should pay for you.

This bull crap about the sub having to pay is just utter crap. A lot of the time the male subs pay and co-incidenttly the male doms (to stop petty people from ditching me alot of people pay their own way) pay as its a thing of males always paying.



(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 12:03:13 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you for all the responses!  I have not yet bought the bracelet, and I shall hold off.  But I really like the rose idea, so that may incorporate itself into the date.
Thanks all!

(in reply to imtempting)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 1:57:12 PM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

as some of you know, i am going to be traveling to Arizona from Georgia to meet a Mistress friend of mine from IRC (Internet Relay Chat for those who don't know what that means). i will be traveling via Greyhound and it will take a little over 2 days to get there. any suggestions on what would be a good gift for a first meeting with a Mistress that kicked out the money for the trip there (i'll be paying my own way home)?

Good Luck to you on this important journey Michael.
That's very exciting news.
I'll say prayers for a safe trip out, a good time there, and a good trip back home for you.
I hope it's all you dare to dream it will be for you and more.
suzanne

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 2:26:33 PM   
mantis65


Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress

So here is my situation...
I am an unexperienced woman who considers herself to be a submissive.  For the past month-ish, I have been conversing on this site with one Domme in particular.  She has recently moved into the area, literally half an hour away, and we are discussing meeting in a casual situation (think Starbucks for coffee) to see if we have as much chemistry face to face.
Now, our "relationship" is very friendly and playful, and by no means set-in-stone, so I was wondering...Would a small gift be appreciated and acceptable upon meeting?  I don't want to seem over-zealous, but I saw a cute silver bracelet that made me think of her, and I  want to give it to her. 
I would love to hear some ideas over whether this would be acceptable/appreciated.  Thanks!
Rose

I would get her something non practical that you know she would like. A book she mentioned or something. Jewelry is too much too soon unless its bracelet or something cheap but interesting. not something too romantic something that says I know what you like make it about her

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 4:15:13 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		i will see what i can find along the way to Arizona and get something for Her.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to mantis65)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 4:36:59 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
I would suggest something more like a 'token' - jewels and silver are very 'commitment' based.
What are her likes or hobbies?  A favourite author?  My Boy is a writer and photographer so the first token I purchased for him was an ink pen.  If you are intent on the gift, show thought behind it - maybe a rose is a good idea hence your name, but a lily or orchid are just as lovely and it depends on what she would prefere.
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/27/2007 8:40:47 PM   
MamaDomme


Posts: 283
Joined: 12/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

i will see what i can find along the way to Arizona and get something for Her.


Michael, have you thought of maybe some kind of small souvenier from your home state?  I have had many submissives give me little gifts......... small tokens that are different are my favorites!  A keychain, a shotglass, even a postcard!

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/28/2007 12:34:23 PM   
mikierotten


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Is my profile too extreme or too weak? Or am i just ugly? i am not having much success?

(in reply to canupleaseme)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/28/2007 12:55:48 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		i'll look around before i leave tomorrow...maybe something will pop up.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to mikierotten)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/28/2007 1:08:33 PM   
leatherorlace


Posts: 215
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		michael if I were you, I'd include a blowu dolly or inflatable 'roid ring to pad that bus seat, and you can pretty much
forget about any shopping along the way, at least any reasonably priced shopping.
I agree with, Mama Domme, bring along something from Georgia, show some forethought. I've always appreciated tools, equipment or instruments of My craft after, I've decided to enter into a training or sessions regimen. I've received flowers and loved them, especially if they have thorns. hheheheee 
For the female thinking about a gift, I'd follow the good advice that you've already received.
I anyone elsehving difficulty with dropped letters in their posts?
Gentry
DDD
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

as some of you know, i am going to be traveling to Arizona from Georgia to meet a Mistress friend of mine from IRC (Internet Relay Chat for those who don't know what that means). i will be traveling via Greyhound and it will take a little over 2 days to get there. any suggestions on what would be a good gift for a first meeting with a Mistress that kicked out the money for the trip there (i'll be paying my own way home)?

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/28/2007 1:20:16 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Have we forgotten she said silver bracelet?  Silver is not expensive.  It could very well cost about what the meal would cost.  Had she said diamond tiara, I'd be concerned.  Had she said gold necklace, I'd beconcerned.  Silver while beautiful *my all time favorite metal, actually* is by no means expensive.

D~

(in reply to leatherorlace)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/28/2007 1:59:52 PM   
LadyAlexa


Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mikierotten

Is my profile too extreme or too weak? Or am i just ugly? i am not having much success?


I don't get into the Superior Goddess stuff that some do.  Yeah at times it's nice to fantasize, have a little fun, dress up and do a bitch from hell thing.  But it's not what I usually desire.  To some, your profile might be just enough.  To me it stated what you wanted, what you would do, you, you, you.     I appreciate the profiles that state something like this : "although I might enjoy and desire a lot of things, being a submissive/slave to one person is so much more.  My purpose is to serve a Goddess who would communicate  her wants, desires, and needs. It is Her thoughts that are important.  She would be able to give me what I need."

or something along that line.  I want service oriented subs: those that know how to take out the garbage, wash the floor, get a meal.  D/s is a way of life with a little kink thrown in. 

_____________________________

Lady Alexa
[amber]

Submission is key not gender.

GLBT approved.

(in reply to mikierotten)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Meeting a Potential Mistress - 3/28/2007 3:35:28 PM   
leatherorlace


Posts: 215
Joined: 2/21/2005
Status: offline 		How could we forget that she said silver? It's My favorite metal, most of the chains for My women are ordered in silver.I prefer My rings in silver, I look for silver whenever, I'm looking for a new canes with metal handles at most every venue or event. Flogger handles, signet caps on single tails, exam instruments, combs, and myraid other implements or items, all in silver whenever I can find them.
Stainless steel, brass, copper, or Damascus steel before gold or platinum... I'm thinking that, I've become very practical with the passing seasons and remembering which metal items that have been stolen from Me, gold was always the first to go. 
  Still, I can make do with some longstem roses if I've decided to session with the presenter that day. If not, I have a very appreciative female that loves roses and refuses to trim the thorns. Being flogged with longstem roses can be a very erotic scenario for those that are in wonder of an experienced touch.
  I wish that I could embed the scent of leather in the chains that, I drape My women in... I'm thnking that there's a market for that productline.
Gentry
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthycouple
Have we forgotten she said silver bracelet?  Silver is not expensive.  It could very well cost about what the meal would cost.  Had she said diamond tiara, I'd be concerned.  Had she said gold necklace, I'd beconcerned.  Silver while beautiful *my all time favorite metal, actually* is by no means expensive.

D~

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Meeting a Potential Mistress Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125