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Training newbies...? - 3/27/2007 7:36:50 PM   
DefiantFlower


Posts: 204
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		I wonder...do you Doms/Masters prefer to train newbies or would you rather get involved with someone who is more experienced in this lifestyle?

And what makes you lean towards one and not the other?
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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/27/2007 7:38:25 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		The great horde goes for fresh meat- easier to catch, easier to mold, easier to fool.

In general, it depends on chemistry.  Actual experience doesn't matter much when you want to form a long term relationship with someone.

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/27/2007 7:46:28 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The great horde goes for fresh meat- easier to catch, easier to mold, easier to fool.

In general, it depends on chemistry.  Actual experience doesn't matter much when you want to form a long term relationship with someone.


Ditto

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/27/2007 7:50:41 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Personally, all things equal I prefer newbies.  I dont like undoing bad habits picked up with other people. I have never turned someone down who I had a descent connection with becaue they were experienced, but I have noticed that the ones with experience tend to assume they can use things they have learned previously rather than asking what I might want in some situations.

But thats just me.  Chemistry is more important than experience overal, of course.

DV

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/27/2007 7:54:57 PM   
Slavetrainer2007


Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer girls with a little experience to be honest.  Complete newbies  are often at the point where they have not yet decided  if this is something they want to persue.  Subs with alot of experience tend to be either really extreme or almost vanilla, at least the ones i talk to.
I like the ones with a little experience best because they know this is something they want to persue,  they are eager to learn, and they dont require months and months  of online chit chat before taking it to real life.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/27/2007 8:11:23 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DefiantFlower

I wonder...do you Doms/Masters prefer to train newbies or would you rather get involved with someone who is more experienced in this lifestyle?

And what makes you lean towards one and not the other?

Neither, for me its not a question of their experience or lack of it that matters most.  What is more important to me is their sincerity and willingness to try and keep trying until they get things right.  Given someone with that attitude I can teach them just about anything.  Beyond that, as others have already mentioned, personal chemistry is also important.  After all, if you aren't attracted to each other, not a lot of motivation to get together in the first place!   But honestly, even with chemistry, if I don't see the sincerity and the willingness to try, all the chemistry in the world won't make up for it.

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/27/2007 8:44:56 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		My present sub is a newbie to the sub end of the whip. It is an on going learning process for both of us. Much of what we do is not something he hasn't done before, he did it as a Master. So now he is learning the sub end of things. It has its ups and downs. Right now he is trying to learn to deal with subdrop he has it very badly at times. But I've told him, you will learn that together we can manage and it will only make you stronger.
I have had experienced subs in the past so in some respects it was easier and yet in others it was difficult to unteach them certain behaviors that their previous owners had taught them. But for right now I am happy with my present sub, he is learning quickly and definitely wants to be the best that he can be and that is important to me.

~Lashra


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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/27/2007 10:09:23 PM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		Myself, I'd prefer someone a bit seasoned but if the chemistry is right I can train someone to my level of play.

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/27/2007 10:11:32 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		Makes no difference to me. Desire to submit is the only quality I need.

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 3:55:53 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The great horde goes for fresh meat- easier to catch, easier to mold, easier to fool.

Given a choice, I also prefer a newbie but I can't say as I'm out to fool anyone.
 
I love one-on-one training (r/l, of course) but it has a "shelf-life" per individual sub.  And the more inexperienced the sub, the longer it takes to teach her my preferences and requirements - thus extending my enjoyment; probably hers, too.  Esp since they have no experience with *anyone* previously, they're not nearly as confident and, frankly, I also enjoy their awkwardness amongst their eagerness to experience a dominating dynamic. 
 
For me, first time they're naked with hands bound behind probably defines the difference between new and experienced.  Because we're still newish to each other, the experienced sub will generally still be a little self conscious but she'll get past it in minutes.  For the newbie, it can take a few sessions to build the confidence to that level of comfort. 

quote:

In general, it depends on chemistry.  Actual experience doesn't matter much when you want to form a long term relationship with someone.

Bottom line - since the learning phase is limited and I do love teaching her what she needs to know, lifestyle newbie is preferred.  Sure, experience may not matter much if it develops into a l/t relationship but, to me, teaching an inexperienced sub is akin to taking the scenic route
getting there.
 
Focus.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 4:19:42 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		I generally prefer someone with at least enough experience to have a good idea of what they want out of all of this.  

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 7:08:19 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		And once again, I have the urge to ask...train them for what?

Ask 10 different Dom/mes what actual training is to them and you'll get 10 different answers. And to a large contingent of male Doms "training" equals what I consider to be play.

Ideal service is different from Dom/me to Dom/me, so previous "training" may not have much (if any) import.

Training doesn't equal experience. You can go take the "seven positions of servitude" class at your local club. You've learned something, but haven't really experienced it.

I guess it's one of my peeves that the word "training" gets thrown around like it's some magical term, but few people actually define it. I get emails that say, "I want to train you." and my response is "Train me to what? Be a Cordon Bleu Chef?"



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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 7:09:55 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh god I much prefer a submissive with a lot of experience.  They know what the want, know how to express themselves, I don't have to play "go digging for the reason", and in general are a hell of a lot easier to be with than newbies.

Although as LA mentioned, chemistry is what it is and for a relationship, that is far more important.

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 7:58:00 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

But honestly, even with chemistry, if I don't see the sincerity and the willingness to try, all the chemistry in the world won't make up for it.

This echoes my Master's sentiments.  He doesn't much care if someone has experience or not.  He is interested in their submission and will teach them to apply it to him (for those who ask what training is, that's what it is in his world).  Effort and desire are big deals to him over much else.  He finds people can carry baggage with them whether they come from a "vanilla" or a D/s background so it doesn't much matter.  He teaches them to offload it, if they are willing.  If they are not willing, he sends them on their way.


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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 8:01:58 AM   
sillygirl09


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: New Jersey
Status: offline 		This is just my opinion but when I read a man's profile and it states he only wishes to meet newbies I tend to think he probably wants that because he could not handle someone with experience.  And just because I am experienced does not necessarily mean that I have bad habits nor does it mean I cannot be trained to serve a new owner in the way that they would prefer.

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 11:56:53 AM   
sweetstorm


Posts: 227
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sillygirl09

This is just my opinion but when I read a man's profile and it states he only wishes to meet newbies I tend to think he probably wants that because he could not handle someone with experience.  And just because I am experienced does not necessarily mean that I have bad habits nor does it mean I cannot be trained to serve a new owner in the way that they would prefer.


I echo that.

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 12:52:10 PM   
sunfleur


Posts: 75
Joined: 11/13/2005
Status: offline 		ok.. me being me, i like to reverse things such as posts like this lol 
i used to think that a newbie Dom would be a HUGE no no for me.  thought that i must have an experienced Dom.   well.. mostly that's still true, however i found out recently that it's wildly exciting to to be with a 'newbie' Dom.   mostly because i get to watch them discover themselves and the lifestyle and all it has to offer.  i can only guess that it can be the same for experienced Doms with newbie subs?

of course, there's much to be said for experience.

(in reply to DefiantFlower)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 3:05:26 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		Its a purely a matter of chemistry for me since nearly any submissive I come in contact with at my age is more or less new to submission. Many claim that new submissives are a lot of work (which is true to a degree), but submissives who are more experienced with you come with an ego that can result in them looking down at you. The second is more annoying to me. Especially when they want to tell me what is best to do since they are more experienced.

< Message edited by MadRabbit -- 3/28/2007 3:06:46 PM >

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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 3:21:31 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		There are advantages and disadvantages to each. Newbies may bring more enthusiasm and a sense of discovery, but they may also have expectations that are based on fantasies instead of reality. Experienced will have realistic expectations, but there is the also the potential to be jaded.

Either is fine, but a slight edge to experience.


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RE: Training newbies...? - 3/28/2007 6:49:06 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Well, The Man said he was happy I was a newbie simply because the last several subs he had met kept telling him about how their ex did things. He said it was very disconcerting to start to tie someone up and have her complain that it wasn't the way her ex did it.  However prior to the run of those who wanted men to be carbon copies of their exes, he had no preference.

But like Focus, he enjoyed enormously me blushing and being embarrassed so easily in the beginning of the relationship.

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 20
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