RE: Being Discreet (Full Version)

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missturbation -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 4:28:55 AM)

My toy's, collars etc i'm not discreet about. They are all hung up in my room.
My poly relationship i'm quite discreet about as some people can handle the truth about it, some can't. I use my best judgement to decide which way to go with who.
I'm very discreet about the dungeon i go to play in as thats how they like it. I name it but never say where it is.
I try to be discreet about personal relationships with other members here but it hasnt quite ended up that way in the past and dirty laundry has been aired lol.
I'm an open book really in most cases and don't actually feel the need to be that discreet. If my friends / people don't like what i have to say then thats there problem. Harsh maybe, but hey they shouldnt ask.



Dnomyar -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 4:33:56 AM)

If someone ask me to be discrete it is like asking me to keep a secrete. I forget all about it until they bring it up again. If something is brought up to me about someone I put it in the ignore box. That is their busniess not mine.



unsung -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 4:47:21 AM)

Greetings KnightofMists,

Being discreet has become an essential behaviour in my public conduct.  My personal life will not be affected directly by my actions and for those images others make or assume I could not care anymore for than how the much rain falls in another galaxy.  However my public image has large implications directly upon others,  so discretion is weighed with the temperments, position, proximity, and standing of others in the community (not the lifestyle community in isolation, the whole community - city, province, company, and some degree country).

My discretion is done by not being open to very many, only those on a need to know basis know my situation.  Sometimes I do try to come out of the box and say it really does not matter, however this is not such an easy task when effect could negatively effect the boundries.  I don't know if I ever will be truely free in my travels, and although I am not a self proclaimed slave, in some manner in society I have to degress that I am enslaved to the will of others, the feelings are those of subtle pride and knowledge though and with a daring amount of acceptance that in life there are ramifications for actions whether one wants to acknowledge this fact or not.

KnightofMists, hope this provides some substance to Your questions.

Best regards, the unsung.



StellaByStarlite -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 5:47:54 AM)

We are very discreet, for the simple reason that the Mister could be in real danger of losing his job and license if it was discovered somehow that he likes to have his wife crawl around on the ground and lick his feet. He's a social worker wh arranges adoptions for kids who are MRDD or behaviorally damaged in some way.

I do believe my mother knows a little bit, but certainly not the full story. Oh lord, no. The very thought of her reaction and response gives me nightmares.

And... my beloved friends aren't really the type to discuss sexual practices in detail, anyway. They've never asked any questions when I've had to call the Mister to ask permission for something, though. Which says a lot about the love and acceptance of me. =)



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 5:52:54 AM)

being discreet would depend on the person and/or situation. for example my family - i could never tell them about Daddy and my D/s relationship with Him because they are deeply rooted in their Christian faith. my UMs - they know why i wear a collar and who Daddy is however that's how far it goes. my sex life is none of their business.  



curiouslyseeking -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 5:53:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

In the interest of addressing an issue that is of concern for some... I start this thread.

How do you be discreet?  or are you?  Is there things you are discreet at and some you are not?

We have a variety of issues we are confronted with that motivates some individuals to consider the above questions.  So.. I asked the above questions to discuss issue of being discreet. 


To give a very simple answer to a generalized question of being discreet..
 
My discretion is out of respect, not shame. 
 
I am very proud of who I am and the role of slave is not put on and taken off like a robe..however, I do not flaunt my choices.
 
I respect other's views and live congruently in the professional world and society with people that do not share or understand my passions.  I respect their life and right to decision as well as my own and therefore don't feel a need to share, unless they ask. (another story in itself).
 
I respect the fact that minors are not of the mindset to have choices of where they are at and not responsible for what they witness or take part in..This is  an adult responsiblity and I honor my responsibility with acute discretion.
 
I make every effort not to be detailed-specific about my relationship with my Master, out of respect for Him and what we share...
 
So, for me, discretion is not of hiding, shame or guilt....but of respect...respect for myself and others around me.
 
 



Bearlee -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 6:27:25 AM)

Rant:
 
Oh…I am so OVER that word ‘discreet’!
 
For me, it’s beginning to mean “I’m married or attached; don’t let word of this get out”.  Ugg
 
Look, most of us are pretty darn careful with whom we get into deep discussions with around religion, sex, many philosophies…  That’s just politeness, common sense and discretion, in my mind.
 
To insist on being ‘discreet’ anymore means I don’t want to introduce you to my friends, make friends or associate with others in the lifestyle, nor see you all that often.  Oh…and park down the street, will ya?
 
/rant



Mercnbeth -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 7:09:03 AM)

quote:

Not riding around with an ostinatious car and the license plate DISCIPLINE


That reminded me. The license plate on the "ostentatious" car I allow beth to drive is MERCSLV (Although it has my actual first name.) One of the people who works for me, whose husband is a Christian minister, saw it and said; "wow-Merc's slave. What's that all about?" I asked her what possibly could be going through her mind? It obviously reads "Merc's Love"!

There's an example of discretionary indiscretion.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 7:45:33 AM)

I'm discreet in that I don't totally scream who I am in general public. However, I don't hide it either if someone asks. I mean, after all, anyone can find my real name if they're interested enough. I don't talk about it with my co-workers much since we usually don't talk about religion and sex and such at work. But, if they asked, I'd probably answer. It's a delicate thing to try and explain a dynamic that has such negative and sexual connotations to it that aren't really me.

Funny thing: I've been having some work done on my house and the workers wander in and out as needed. It all-of-a-sudden hit me the other day that I have copies of my book laying around in the open as well as my singletail hanging just off the kitchen (post-it-notes on the frig make excellent targets). So far, only one has asked. He went kinda glassy eyed as I explained the whole Ms relationship dynamic to him. *chuckle*

Master Fire



Devilslilsister -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 7:54:35 AM)

When is KOM going to go further into details about the details of this thread?  I'm soooooooo curious as to why it was posted and what he was looking for.



dawntreader -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 8:02:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Not riding around with an ostinatious car and the license plate DISCIPLINE


That reminded me. The license plate on the "ostentatious" car I allow beth to drive is MERCSLV (Although it has my actual first name.) One of the people who works for me, whose husband is a Christian minister, saw it and said; "wow-Merc's slave. What's that all about?" I asked her what possibly could be going through her mind? It obviously reads "Merc's Love"!

There's an example of discretionary indiscretion.


See, this is one more reason i think you guys are so great!!!!



dawntreader -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 8:15:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: curiouslyseeking


My discretion is out of respect, not shame.  
 
So, for me, discretion is not of hiding, shame or guilt....but of respect...respect for myself and others around me.
 
 


i hope i am not coming off as a tag-along! But this sums it up for me as well.
 
 i think being raised in the South is an influence here as well. Manners,social graces, and proper ettiquette were highly stressed. One learns to discuss the taboos with coded nuances and the reciever will decipher what they want to hear. i actually enjoy it ! i also like that i don't "wear" the kink of my private life...i enjoy looking like the "girl next door" or whatever public hat i am required to wear - knowing i have another side that most won't ever see - kind of like a "secret garden" ...
 
So, i guess, discretion is a way of life for me...



LaTigresse -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 8:24:55 AM)

I kind of run along the lines of "need to know".

I am a private person and yet, an open book. There are alot of things I do not discuss with ANYONE. I probably appear alot more open on here than I really am. Most of the people in my life are the sort that just do not want to know.

All of that being said. If someone asks me a question I answer it honestly. Not many have the balls to ask oddly enough. Within my family they will never ask me but someone close to me instead. My family has found out more about my sexuality thru my husband than from me. He knows I do not care if they know so if they ask him, he answers the question. I live in a rural area, everyone knows everyone. When a friend of his cruised by and saw a drop dead gorgeous woman dressed in skimpy clothes out throwing knives in our north yard, inquiring minds wanted to know. He explained it to them..........and the rest of the bar. I am not sure they were ready for the answer but they got it in spades.

If someone is a potential partner, they can ask me anything at all and get an answer. They just better be sure they really want it.

As far as other people's stuff. I am well known as a person that can keep a confidence. I am trusted. I get told stuff that if passed along would destroy lives, maybe even small countries[;)], it is one of the few things about myself I am very proud of. It is not uncommon for someone to call me and begin with "I really need to talk to someone and you are the only person I know I can trust........."   I do not have a large number of close friends but those I do have, I cherish. To lose them or their trust in me, over tacky gossip would be stupidity on my part. It's just not who I am and what I am about.



Padriag -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 8:28:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

When is KOM going to go further into details about the details of this thread?  I'm soooooooo curious as to why it was posted and what he was looking for.

My guess would be he wanted to explore the different reactions to the word.  There's quite a range, from the Old South etiquette Dawntreader and I mentioned, to the euphamism for cheating Bearlee described and quite a few in between.  Its interesting how the same word gets used differently by various people, and the different reactions it creates.  Context is everything.



sublizzie -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 8:35:33 AM)

Discreet? I can be very discreet. In my job, by US law, I must be discreet about the information I have access to. This carries over to my personal life when it comes to other people's business. I am quite capable of keeping my mouth shut. About my own personal life, who needs to know about it? My kids are aware, which is good since they'll have to dispose of my "things" when I die. My best friend is aware, which is useful in case something were to happen and cops were to get involved. Outside of them, no one else in my regular life is aware because they don't need to know. I had a discussion with my mother telling her that I was submissive. Her response was that she was too, with no clue exactly what I meant by "submissive". So she knows, but doesn't really.



jauntyone -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 8:37:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

In the interest of addressing an issue that is of concern for some... I start this thread.

How do you be discreet?  or are you?  Is there things you are discreet at and some you are not?

We have a variety of issues we are confronted with that motivates some individuals to consider the above questions.  So.. I asked the above questions to discuss issue of being discreet. 

Greetings
 
Master and I have always had the policy that if someone asks, we give them back the truth. It is then up to them whether or not they can handle it. We don't flaunt our life but neither do we go out of the way to hide it either.
 
I wish you well
 
melissa
 
edited because i can not spell today



blmtrsne -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 2:14:18 PM)

I don't want to explain myself to a lot of people, so in general my sub is galant to me in public and will assist me with small tasks like carrying the bags while I'm shopping. On the other hand, I'm dominant enough to havze my girlfriends raise their eyebows when I'm ordering around my sub. I didn't have to tell them, they are shure who wears the pants and suspect more.



defiantbadgirl -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 2:36:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

In the interest of addressing an issue that is of concern for some... I start this thread.

How do you be discreet?  or are you?  Is there things you are discreet at and some you are not?

We have a variety of issues we are confronted with that motivates some individuals to consider the above questions.  So.. I asked the above questions to discuss issue of being discreet. 


I would be discreet about the lifestyle around vanillas and would never wear a leather collar to work or college. However, if someone only wanted to see me behind closed doors, I'd find that  insulting.



catize -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 9:55:25 PM)

quote:

 There's an example of discretionary indiscretion. 

Or perhaps a prime example of the adage, ‘discretion is the better part of valor’![:D]



domiguy -> RE: Being Discreet (3/28/2007 10:16:13 PM)

This is my life...Only to be shared by a chosen few.



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