RE: Being Discreet (Full Version)

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Vendaval -> RE: Being Discreet (3/29/2007 12:04:08 AM)

I am a very private and reserved person by nature so being
discreet is fine.  The situations where I can relax and be myself
without having to filter language and behavior are a welcome
respite from social norms.



ownedgirlie -> RE: Being Discreet (3/29/2007 1:21:08 AM)

To me being discreet means exercising discretion.  In simple terms, it means choosing what knowledge about myself I might disclose and to whom.  I tend to be very private.  My life is also currently too complex to allow me much time and energy to spend explaining myself to those who are not that important to me, or who can not understand.  For example, I have "vanilla" friends who find my submission quite disturbing.  They try to accept who I am, and they even say they accept who I am, but when it comes down to it, they do not understand enough to fully accept.  Depending upon how they inquire, I might attempt to explain....or not.  Hence, I practice discretion in how I respond.  This has to do with maintaining balance in relationships.  Sometimes I err in my discretion, and imbalance occurs.  In such cases I always hope for resolution, but it may not always be found.

Another example is my mother worries constantly, saying, "Please do not let anyone take over you."  She has reasons, given some history, to have this concern.  I practice discretion in how much I tell her of my current relationship, as I have no desire to worry her further. She sees I am happy and fulfilled, and that is all she needs to know.

As for being discreet for the purpose of "hiding" things about myself, yes I will be discreet.  The people in my life, other than those with whom I choose to share, do not need to know the things I do for my Master.  So when company comes over, my toys will be stored away out of view.  Because of my Master's high visible job, I won't be calling his office saying, "This is his slave."  Also, my Master has a family who would rather not have to contend with questions and comments from their own circle of friends and acquaintances, about this girl who kneels at his feet.  And so I am discreet in my interactions in that regard, as well.

I tend to think people exercise various levels of discretion in all aspects of their lives, not just M/s, D/s, BDSM, LMNOP.  I know I do.



KnightofMists -> RE: Being Discreet (3/29/2007 1:30:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Devilslilsister

When is KOM going to go further into details about the details of this thread?  I'm soooooooo curious as to why it was posted and what he was looking for.


I am being discreet in sharing my motivations as not to offend others *g*



Padriag -> RE: Being Discreet (3/29/2007 8:16:44 AM)

LOL... spoken like a true sadist!



LaTigresse -> RE: Being Discreet (3/29/2007 8:41:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

LOL... spoken like a true sadist!


Oh nooooooooo, now we are getting "real and true"! This thread's gonna go into the shitter now.

KoM: "I am a real and true discreet sadist!"

Ubercyberdom: "No your not!"

KoM: "Yes I am! See, I have the real, true toys (see toychest thread) to prove it!!!!!"



sunfleur -> RE: Being Discreet (3/29/2007 8:48:40 AM)

i am very descreet.. how you ask?  by simply keeping my mouth shut.  i dont feel the need to share my inner most thoughts and intimate acts with everyone i know.   this goes for the lifestyle as well as basic day to day living.    on those occassions someone asks me a personal question, my depth of answer will depend on why they are asking.  are they sincerely interested?  or are they just fishing for gossip?



szobras -> RE: Being Discreet (3/29/2007 9:13:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

To me being discreet means exercising discretion.  In simple terms, it means choosing what knowledge about myself I might disclose and to whom.  I tend to be very private. 

I tend to think people exercise various levels of discretion in all aspects of their lives, not just M/s, D/s, BDSM, LMNOP.  I know I do.

This is very much how it works for me. In daily life with relatives, unmentionables around,  professional circles, and general public. Certainly posting on the web  lessens the discretion practised to the general public.



m0rgan -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 8:02:13 AM)

careless talk costs lives, and drink or stupidity causes careless talk!



TigressFL -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 9:18:48 AM)

I am very "out" with my family and friends (including my 84 year old grandmother) and I have been for years. I do not have the energy to hide, who I am. I figure if they love me then they can handle it and if not, so be it. I attend public groups and events and all that jazz. On the other side of that, I still do not feel the need or desire to walk someone into a store on a leash or anything of that nature. I do not really consider myself an exhibitionist and so I really do not see the point in the shock of people that will not get it. If others want to then I say, go for it but be prepared for the possible consequences. With all that being said, I have no issue with anyone not wanting to announce it to the world or to his or her family and friends. It truly is a personal choice and as such, I do respect it. What I do have issues with is when someone is "discreet" because they are hiding it from their spouse and doing it on the down low. I find that behavior to be morally bankrupt and I will not engage in anything with someone that is discreet for that reason. Now, this does not mean that I think they are a "bad person" in general. It simply means that I think that specific behavior is shady and not something I want to be involved in. I am also not going to treat my property as an “equal” in public and as my property behind closed doors. I will certainly bend and tone it down in the vanilla public for the sake of those that do not know or understand but I still have requirements for their behavior when we are out in general population.

Tigress~FL




DawnFire -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 9:46:59 AM)

I'm both discreet and indiscreet.

With my friends, my family, my associates, and the random strangers I meet - why hide, I'm not ashamed of being a dominant female.

With my submissive's friends, family, etc... I sigh and bite back my hasty remarks, he's new to this stuff and the people he is usually with just wouldn't understand.

Besides, few people have a problem with the fact that I'm a dominant female.  A good deal of people seem to have problems with Male submissives *rolls eyes* so whatever, Until I get back to good ol' Cali, I'll deal.



minnetar -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 1:30:43 PM)

Bearlee,
swear that was this girls first thoughts when reading it lol.

minnetar



Celeste43 -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 2:36:48 PM)

My sex life isn't anyone else's business. It's mine. Since we're both single parents obviously I am not meeting him at the door naked and kneeling. We also aren't into protocols and rituals, just respect. What everyone sees in our relationship is that we never argue, we always treat each other with respect, and we communicate openly and clearly. They also see that we have enormous affection for each other.



slaveish -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 3:22:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

We aren't "closeted" but there is no "Scarlet Letter" on any of our clothes. The tattoos, if seen, would be a "tell", so would a ring beth wears. beth's "collar" is a silver chain most days. Anyone in public and looking at her ankles may see the bulge of a cuff under her jeans and/or socks. We deal with discretion on a case by case basis. We are proud of our life together and don't feel there is anything that we do that merits shame. I would say our discretion amounts to hiding in plane sight.


As typical with your stuff, Mnb, I ~love~ this post and agree with it totally. In fact, I hated snipping any part of it.

The only thing I will add is that there are times I c-r-a-v-e to be outed by Master in some public place, even just a tiny bit of obvious indiscretion (I don't mean sexual) with regard to our M/s relationship, but this level of servitude is still in its honeymoon state (I indentified as a submissive for many years, did not think I was a slave) so perhaps the desire to be slave-ishly indiscreet at times is something that will pass as this part of me grows and matures (but it sure is fun like it is now).



Stranger1 -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 3:57:09 PM)

Honesty is a good thing.

So is tact.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 4:26:17 PM)

quote:

The only thing I will add is that there are times I c-r-a-v-e to be outed by Master in some public place, even just a tiny bit of obvious indiscretion (I don't mean sexual) with regard to our M/s relationship, but this level of servitude is still in its honeymoon state (I identified as a submissive for many years, did not think I was a slave) so perhaps the desire to be slave-ishly indiscreet at times is something that will pass as this part of me grows and matures (but it sure is fun like it is now).

slaveish,
One of the best and easiest way to dip you toe into the water of "public" display is to go to lifestyle functions. Now if you were in our neck of the woods that's extremely easy. You could attend a 'community' function every week at some venue. In North Carolina, those opportunities may not be so available.

But sometimes its most 'fun' to be indiscreet even if nobody notices. What you wear or don't wear under clothes is a game we love to play. One of my favorite toys is a remote controlled vibrator. I remember having beth wear it while going up to the top of Mt San Jacinto in the aerial tramway. beth forgot all about her fear of heights during that 15 minute ride to the top as she went over the top! Any observer thought her 'white knuckled' grip on the handrail was the result of fear.

We, or is it 'I', have enjoyed many similar experiences in public. "Discretion" is sometimes defined simply as not getting caught.

Whether slave or sub or anything in between - Fun is fun. Sexy, teasing fun, is even more fun. Coming home on a dark night from a mundane business dinner can turn into a wild night of fun, if I whisper to her during dinner that we are riding home with the "top off" and she knows I'm not just referring to my car.

PS - Thanks for your kind words.



slaveish -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 5:29:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

"Discretion" is sometimes defined simply as not getting caught.



Precisely so. ~big grin~ Dammit, where is Master when I'm in the mood to not get caught?



slcsub -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 5:51:08 PM)

I live in the Land of Confusion -- Utah -- so discretion is something of a must, I feel. If not for myself then for others. I've no problem with those that proudly display their lifestyle but for some of us, working in a ultra-conservative society and with Mormon bosses and coworkers, discretion is the watchword of the day.

However, were someone to ask me point-blank if I practiced BDSM I would proudly admit it. That's something of a safe proclimation to make, however, as people just don't think that way around here.

Regards,
- don



Fnordstrum -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 6:05:34 PM)

I'm not really discreet at all... I don't talk with any of my family about BDSM related things, and as far as I know they have no idea that I have an interest in BDSM, however, all of my friends know about my interest in it and I'll talk to any random person about it if it comes up in conversation somehow.

So, yeah.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤



juliaoceania -> RE: Being Discreet (4/13/2007 7:03:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

In the interest of addressing an issue that is of concern for some... I start this thread.

How do you be discreet?  or are you?  Is there things you are discreet at and some you are not?

We have a variety of issues we are confronted with that motivates some individuals to consider the above questions.  So.. I asked the above questions to discuss issue of being discreet. 


He decides how discrete we are, not me... it is that whole submissive thing that I have been trying to cultivate...lol. Seriously, he is pretty discrete and I follow his lead.



Sinergy -> RE: Being Discreet (4/14/2007 12:07:38 AM)

 
Hello A/all,

I was not always a private person, but the events of the last 6 or 8 years of life have changed my approach rather dramatically.  These days I tend to work on much more of a need to know basis, and there are not all that many people I let get very close to me.

The other thing is that it has been my experience that few people tend to listen to what I have to say.  What this means is that I frequently do not initiate sharing things.

On the other hand, I am more than willing to answer questions for people I am close to. 

Sinergy



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