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RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/28/2007 9:53:40 PM   
justplainjava


Posts: 173
Joined: 2/22/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings and saluations,
for me i prefer the real deal, a true and honest master, for he is the only kind that will be handle me, one who is secure in who and what he is,
take care and be safe
java

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/28/2007 10:08:30 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

exactly. i'd rather be trained to what the person who owns or is going to own me wants, than trained to someone's idea of what a submissive or slave SHOULD be. that to me seems like an enormous waste of time.

i hope i'm not misrepresenting the point you are trying to make here.

annabelle.

p.s. can we get a pic of you demonstrating this training? ;) *hugs* 


 
You got my point perfectly, thanks! 
Oh! Ummm, sure………they’re in a box…….somewhere…I'll look for them........later (nods nods nods)


< Message edited by catize -- 3/28/2007 10:13:07 PM >

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/28/2007 11:00:55 PM   
basque48


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		Its not that simple - this is not a title issue, or even a character issue.

This is all mental.

How one handles being mentally dominating, training, mastering, and handling the day to day life of this role tells how good one is at this over the long haul. the reputation they end up with, as they land from the scene into real life.

If they are this good then they have earned the right to deign themselves to be called by any title they choose, its an earned right.

Am I wrong here?


How can this be?
    This is all mental.
It has to be.
   You must give full admittance to this power exchange. How can there be any two ways about it?
   How we enter then, becomes centered around what we see is in the mental of those who attract us, those who we know
   we can give full admittance to.

I know I am new here, very new here, but I know I am right about this.
Very right, at least where I come from, and how I understand things, on either end to be honest.
                                                
Its all really in the mind...

Basque48

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/28/2007 11:14:01 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		basque48,

the one issue i take with your post is that what it takes to have earned such a title is very subjective, as well as whether one who calls themselves so has earned that title, along with what the title itself means and whether or not it has any bearing upon what we want in our relationships. from the way i personally understand the qualities of someone who is correctly labeled or who correctly identifies as a "slave trainer," that set of qualities, by itself, is not what i would seek in an owner.

hoping i have understood your post,
annabelle.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to basque48)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/29/2007 11:14:39 AM   
basque48


Posts: 10
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline 		Annabelle -

No you are corrrect.

But it becomes our role, should we want to be under the "guidance" as a generic terms for all of these words, of one who
holds these titles, to choose them  *uniquely* , to give full admittance to....

Our role before we ever give this full admittance, is to make certain, they have indeed earned this title, and are not just
correct for us, but can be ultimately fulfilling for us.

It comes across to me over and over again, that so many, choose poorly in the rush, to have something, anything, than to
wait it out, and find the perfect match. The ideal, for one's inner being.

To rush, is to ruin.

Does this help clarify what I said as far as this goes?

I see how this part is unclear. My point in answering HE, is that really his question to ME, comes across very
clear.

He is not actually splitting hairs as he appears to be.
I saw only, that what he really wants to know, is that this is all about the mental.
Call it what you will, but without his mental dominance, the rest counts for nothing.
This was my take on his question, no more, no less.

But yes there are always many other variables, Annabelle, you are so very correct,
and by the way, hello to you.

_____________________________

Basque48

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/29/2007 12:00:00 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		I'd definitely prefer a Dom or Master over a Trainer. I've seen many complaints from Doms and Masters about having to untrain and retrain Submissives because they have different preferences. The only way I can see any benefit to a Trainer is if a Dom asks a Trainer to train a sub for him in specific ways. I think Trainers for newbies are a bad idea. Often times the newbie doesn't realize it's a temporary arrangement, becomes attached to the Trainer, and is heartbroken when the temporary arrangement ends. Then the newbie is left with the wrong impression that everyone in the lifestyle only seeks casual temporary play partners.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/29/2007 12:14:53 PM   
BoundDragon


Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline 		I would love my partner to become my master and to some extent my trainer as well... I would love to learn from him and do my best for him

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/29/2007 12:53:49 PM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Very seldom will someone who calls himself a Trainer become the trainees Master.

(in reply to BoundDragon)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/29/2007 1:00:13 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

What on earth is a handler?



I assume it is the subs drub dealer or pimp.

What an odd, silly question seeing as they  are all the same in their own way. Every Dom i've played with are trainers. But have to admit, i haven't found someone who can master me.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/29/2007 3:36:18 PM   
czarlipet


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/17/2007
Status: offline 		A trainer doesn't make much sense as the person I am with will train me to their ways. I personally train myself to be the kind of submissive I want to be.

Handler... I can't say that I understand that term in a lifestyle sense. I have a protector. One could say that he is my handler as he sets up play for me with others. But this is something we negotiated he would do for me, as I am sometimes kind of shy about it. And his job mainly is to ensure my safety. Yeah, the Handler title doesn't make much sense to me.

Dominant vs. Master. In the rest of the world, dominant is an adjective. We are the only community which uses that word as a noun. You can be a Master of an art, like Shibari for instance, but if you can't master yourself or another then you aren't much of a Master. I don't call anyone who isn't mine "Master". There have been a few times in the past that I called people Master/Mistress out of respect. Then I lost all respect for them and even though the rest of the community calls them Master... I don't! 

So, I suppose in answer to your question... I prefer to call the dominants that I know dominant.I don't call anyone Handler/Trainer.  I call my protector by his name, Guardian Lynx. I call my dominant friends by their scene names and I use Sir, Ma'am, Ms, miss, and mister to show respect. Master/Mistress I reserve for the one/s that own me.

Hope that answered your question.

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/29/2007 3:53:20 PM   
MasterNdorei


Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		i am owned by One who has the time, the desire, the ability, and the commitment to master me. This is why i call Him "Master". It is the dynamic that works for us.

Master's dorei

(in reply to czarlipet)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/29/2007 6:02:56 PM   
Slavetrainer2007


Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline 		Titles are taken to seriously, in my opinion. Ive seen Lords, Sirs, Masters, even a King or two. Lords  commonly are nobles  Sir is a knighthood term when used in combination with a proper name and i dont  their are to many kings that surf the web.

Titles tell more about a persons character than their  abilities and experience. In BDSM titles are self given and are a part of the creativeness of the people in the community.

Take my name for example. Many people read to much into it. I like to train girls with little or no experience. I like the teaching  aspect and being able to share my knowledge with a curious girl. I love the reactions i get when a sub trys something new with me.

This does not make a "trainer"  as their has to be someone with the ability to define what a trainer is and to my knowledge their is no one that has the authority or privlage unless they bestowed it upon themselves as most people in this lifestyle bestow  titles upon themselves.

I think their is a character difference between someone who considers themself a master, Dom, or trainer( im not even going to  touch  handler as that to me sounds like either A) forced slavery or b)  a pimp. )

and i think  their is a niche for all of them.

To me a trainer is someone who bascially teachs subs "the ropes". Trainers have a niche because some subs  desire a master/dom that may only consider subs with some experience . subs feel insecure, embarassed,  unsure, or  feel overwhelmed about the lifestyle( you have to admit to a newb its  like a whole new world)  and they want someone to kind of show them the ropes with no strings attached. Doms/Masters/Owners always do the fine tuning of any sub to their liking. but again many like the experienced girl and trainers open the door to  those doms that prefer experience. Another reason while a sub may seek a trainer is so  the explore and see what they like so they know what type of  Dom they are in search of. They want to know their interest and find a Dom with  shared interest.

In my eyes , the difference between Dom, Master and Owner  depends solely on  the sub. Subs that are "collared" dont typically refer to their  Dom as "my dom" its  typically owner or master or even their proper name.  Doms seem to be more of a general reference to doms other than the one the sub is collared too.

I think all subs, in a way , seek a master. someone to master them. To everyone else this "Master" may just be another dom but to that sub He truely is Master.



_____________________________

Life is given, Everything else is earned.

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/31/2007 2:54:54 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

for myself, i prefer a man! one who's confident enough in himself, that he doesn't have to throw around a bunch of titles!


Not throwing titles but conveying actions or methods/approaches used in a relationship or association.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/31/2007 2:58:37 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: starshineowned

Greetings..~smiles~

Personally wants more than just a Man. Plenty of those out there who don't have a clue about this life.

True bu we all started somewhere...just a matter of how quick growth is
 
 


Wanted a Dominant Master. I don't view dominant as a noun but attribute of a person so can clear that one off the board.

Why is that? I actually view Myself as that yet I have been called and bestowed with the formentioned as well. Care to define yours?



As far as a Trainer or Handler goes..if were more inclined towards the pet kink and objectification then either of those would work .. but Master nor self require that.

The insex mindset seems to come to mind for most but it can be more entailed that the superficial gleeming they approached( yet still delicious)



Life experience and life style particulars require to me just that "experience". To what degree or in what area's is subjective.


True not just experience but how one relates, translates and demonstrates that experience.

Interesting topic Sir..thankyou

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin



Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to starshineowned)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/31/2007 3:00:10 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jauntyone

Greetings
 
I perfer the man that I now belong to  A title does not make him any better or any less.
 


I am not talking of self bestowed titles but rather the means and methods of interation between a Dom and subbie

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to jauntyone)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/31/2007 3:01:26 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myobedience I prefer a DOMINANT man, not domineering.
One who is patient, kind yet strict who seeks to teach me his way and is open to my way, but of course, he wins in the end with my graditude


Domineering is just another for of low self esteme manifesting itself into a bulling oppresive negative nature.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to myobedience)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/31/2007 3:02:36 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sillygirl09

I prefer a Master for myself, in my mind it's a different level of relationship, one that I need.

And you define that as?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to sillygirl09)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/31/2007 3:04:13 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

i would prefer to have someone take ownership of me and keep me, thanks


So might one be an owner and not any of the others?

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to hisannabelle)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/31/2007 5:33:03 AM   
Squeakers


Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		     The definitions of trainer, handler, Dominant and Master are going to vary from person to person.   The methods employed by each can be identical or extremely varied depending on who is asked.
     If I were searching, I'd first have to determine what type of partner I was seeking.    Once I had a clear definition of what I personally was looking for, I would not begin my search focusing on labels or titles, I would rather search for one who complimented me.    The title or label in which he has given himself has no baring at all for me.  
     Each of the above titles, could describe my partner.   He does train me, he does handle me, he is a Dominant and a Master.    The deciding factor in our being together was chemistry, compatiblity, and mutal enjoyment of spending time with each other.   
       We met as friends and it progressed from there and his title could have been Grand Pooba of WTF and really it wouldn't have mattered.  What mattered was the person he was, the person I am and bottom line if we complimented each other and met on the same level.     

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do you prefer a trainer, handler, Dominant or Master? - 3/31/2007 8:09:54 AM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

i would prefer to have someone take ownership of me and keep me, thanks


So might one be an owner and not any of the others?


perhaps. i prefer a mix of owner and master, personally, if you want to put it that way. my point was actually that i would not want a trainer or handler, because i don't wish to be trained to someone's idea of what a slave should be and then let go.


_____________________________

a'ishah (the artist formerly known as annabelle)
i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)
Profile   Post #: 40
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