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RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 8:41:19 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

To be frank, I am not sure what I have in my profile. I have no clue if it comes off as aggressive or anything else. It's never been a concern to me because I am here for topics, conversation, and entertainment. I think quite a few people are here for that very same reason.
I can totally understand some people putting certain restrictions of "don't bother me if", in their profiles because hopefully by now, they know what they find acceptable.
For my own part, I could never submit to someone who was 10 yrs younger or more, because we probably don't have a lot in common. I could never submit to someone who was into the Gor life, because I could not suspend my logic for that long. I have a certain criteria for intelligence and life experience based on who I am and what I know. I believe people should have standards. Not everyone here needs to be owned or collared so badly that they should have to be open to things that havent worked for them.
Unlike many here, I do not get a lot of email. But the email I have gotten have been from quality men (more often than not). I'll bet they are picky too.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to redsky)

Post #: 21

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 8:41:37 AM

Passion357

Posts: 481
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Greetings, All,

I think some of the profiles with "DON'T WASTE MY TIME" as the headline *do* come off arrogant, bitchy, etc etc.
SOME of them.
However, there are the rest who are, as many here have stated, just trying to weed through the idiots and get it over with, even if that means saying **WHACK- hey, asshole, learn to READ (as in profiles) then message someone who actually gives a fuck about hearing your little fetishes!**

Just my 2 sense....hey it's early for me. First cup of coffee and still wiping sleep out of my eyes and getting over one hell of a sad dream...early

Well Wishes,
~Passion~

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 22

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 8:50:27 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

Some feel that if they are agressive that makes them more dominant.

In My book it really just gives Me the impression of rudeness and social ineptness.

It is just a big flag for clueless and not worthy of My time of the wannas

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to redsky)

Post #: 23

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 8:56:29 AM

thornhappy

Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline

hmm, some are a bit testy and some sound sour/bitter. but you can see that on vanilla sites with folks who are fed up with superficial contacts or folks not reading profiles.

i'll scroll through profiles and on some i simply think "good on 'ya, mate" or "whew, wouldn't be for me". i'm here for the reading & conversation but enjoy looking at profiles of folks who have interesting opinions.

.... back to the caffeine....

(in reply to redsky)

Post #: 24

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 8:57:18 AM

lillostangel

Posts: 59
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

wonderful topic this morn. i was just thinking about this yesterday and started to say something but stopped. i have had so Many email me w/o looking at my profile and of course being polite like i am (smiles) i politely tell them im not interested or not the one for Them. i will admit it is bothersome as i am swamped with emails. and it is becoming more difficult to respond. the way i look at it, if One cant read my profile and find out about me, then They are not worth my time.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 25

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 9:04:10 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Passion357

Greetings, All,

Just my 2 sense....hey it's early for me. First cup of coffee and still wiping sleep out of my eyes and getting over one hell of a sad dream...early

Well Wishes,
~Passion~

>>>>>>>hugs Passion<<<<<<<<<
Sorry you had a sad dream.
I hope now you're awake it's not but a distant memory & it does not return.
suzanne

(in reply to Passion357)

Post #: 26

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 9:08:40 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Some feel that if they are agressive that makes them more dominant.

In My book it really just gives Me the impression of rudeness and social ineptness.

It is just a big flag for clueless and not worthy of My time of the wannas

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

I disagree SD,
Do you think I'm a wanna???
I have the agressive blurb
"I do not IM, chat, web cam, send strangers photos, or travel to meet people out of town, I don't want to play with strangers or deal with people posing as new friends who are really trying to consider if I'm avialable to be their one."
in my profile.
I don't think it makes me an attitudy wanna be.
Do you?
I think it's just we reach a point where we're sick of typing our preferences or limits over and over and decide to mention things up front we have to repeat to all who inquire otherwise.
LOL in essence it's me being lazy and not wanting to have to write in here the same sentiments more than a bad attitude IMO.
suzanne

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

Post #: 27

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 9:16:05 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

To be honest I have more respect for the blunt and honest profiles. The ones that I do a double take on are the ones that are so blaringly negative. How can anyone expect to get a good response when the first paragraph of their profile is negative.

One I've seen when I sign in numerous times starts out by saying how online is just a bunch a bullshit and we're all fakes and time wasters, but if you are acutally real and serious then you can message me if you feel like it. (paraphrased not quoted here)

I mean if someones view is that negative, even if the rest of the profile shows they could be a good match in many ways I just get get over the mass negativity in the begining. Makes me assume that they have a fairly negative outlook on life and that is something I'd never be able to deal with on a day to day basis.

I'm very upbeat and tend to always see the best around me. Last thing I want is someone always seeing the negative. It would be tiresome and draining I'd think.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 28

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 9:23:49 AM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Some feel that if they are agressive that makes them more dominant.

In My book it really just gives Me the impression of rudeness and social ineptness.

It is just a big flag for clueless and not worthy of My time of the wannas

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

I disagree SD,
Do you think I'm a wanna???
I have the agressive blurb
"I do not IM, chat, web cam, send strangers photos, or travel to meet people out of town, I don't want to play with strangers or deal with people posing as new friends who are really trying to consider if I'm avialable to be their one."
in my profile.
I don't think it makes me an attitudy wanna be.
Do you?
I think it's just we reach a point where we're sick of typing our preferences or limits over and over and decide to mention things up front we have to repeat to all who inquire otherwise.
LOL in essence it's me being lazy and not wanting to have to write in here the same sentiments more than a bad attitude IMO.
suzanne

I bolded the point i wanted to talk about hehe

suzzanne is soo right on this point.

I've gotten to a point if I get asked what I like, I just copy and paste my b.com checklist into the message and send it. I'm not goign to do detail and provide someone with spank material.

If it's someone I've been talking to for a little while and they show that they veiw me as a person and we are actually making the attempt to get to know one another then ya, I'll openly talk about stuff but come on, when It's the second or thrid message, then you get the checklist. Saves me copious amounts of time and irritation.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 29

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 9:26:08 AM

SirDiscipliner69

Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDiscipliner69

Some feel that if they are agressive that makes them more dominant.

In My book it really just gives Me the impression of rudeness and social ineptness.

It is just a big flag for clueless and not worthy of My time of the wannas

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

I disagree SD,
Do you think I'm a wanna???
I have the agressive blurb
"I do not IM, chat, web cam, send strangers photos, or travel to meet people out of town, I don't want to play with strangers or deal with people posing as new friends who are really trying to consider if I'm avialable to be their one."
in my profile.
I don't think it makes me an attitudy wanna be.
Do you?
I think it's just we reach a point where we're sick of typing our preferences or limits over and over and decide to mention things up front we have to repeat to all who inquire otherwise.
LOL in essence it's me being lazy and not wanting to have to write in here the same sentiments more than a bad attitude IMO.
suzanne

I still stand by My statement.

I am not to judge what ever gets people through the night.

I feel people want to be taken on a grander more knowledgable scale and as the experience grows they become more relaxed and accepting of things

I think profiles make for good reading

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 30

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 9:34:43 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Ah, the sweetest profile may only indicate she is a profile whore. She will say anything to find a date and be nothing like her sweet profile leads some to believe.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to redsky)

Post #: 31

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 10:11:23 AM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

~Quicky~

I like my passive approach.

_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 32

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 10:32:21 AM

bliss1

Posts: 497
Joined: 3/14/2007
Status: offline

I'm with some of the others - I'll go with blunt over being a tender foot. I've had some negative experiences with some and I do start my profile with what I am and my don'ts - I just don't have the time or energy to weed out those who would have issues with some of the things i'm just not interested in. It doesn't mean I'm not a nice person or notsub - it just means until I find that man who can handle me - I have the right to state what I want or don't want.

bliss

_____________________________

Witch before, during, and after my coffee.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 33

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 11:42:57 AM

lovetokissnylons

Posts: 117
Joined: 10/17/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

... How can anyone expect to get a good response when the first paragraph of their profile is negative.

One I've seen when I sign in numerous times starts out by saying how online is just a bunch a bullshit and we're all fakes and time wasters, but if you are acutally real and serious then you can message me if you feel like it. (paraphrased not quoted here)

I mean if someones view is that negative, even if the rest of the profile shows they could be a good match in many ways I just get get over the mass negativity in the begining. Makes me assume that they have a fairly negative outlook on life and that is something I'd never be able to deal with on a day to day basis.

... Last thing I want is someone always seeing the negative. It would be tiresome and draining I'd think.

Akisha is nicer than me (then again, just about Everybody is nicer than me)....

Redsky, then how would YOU feel if you read a profile that started out:

Before You read my profile, please wipe Your feet and leave Your BS at the door

? Maybe it works to keep from getting unwanted messages, but wouldn't it make you think that person is kind of down right mean & sour, and doesnt that kinda make you seem unwilling to give everyone a chance ?

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 34

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 3:20:28 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra.

Some people like to be nice, some people like to be blunt. I'll go with blunt.

~Lashra

I'll ditto this. I'm a blunt person. I know exactly what I do and do not want and if you don't meet the criteria, don't waste my time. I am not willing to give "everyone a chance." I will only give a chance to those who meet my criteria.

A lot of people have the attitude of "I don't meet ____ criteria but you should give me a chance cause we might work anyway." Sorry, if you don't meet the criteria , I don't really care how well we'd work out. End of story. I'd just as soon make it very clear in my profile who I am and am not interested in.

For example, I don't care HOW good a match we are. If you have a criminal record, I'm not interested. I work in law enforcement and I can lose my job over associating with known criminals. End of story. If you have a record, don't waste my time.

I don't see it as aggressive....I see it as blunt. I'm a blunt person in all aspects of my life and letting that show through on my profile is just one more way of indicating my real-life personality to potential suitors.

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 35

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 5:12:03 PM

Totalmaster4you

Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

This is a topic that seems to come around rather often. I'm a big proponant of courtesy. Looking around even in the vanilla world people seem to think only about themselves and nothing about how they impact on everyone they come in contact with. I recently wrote a letter of introduction to a submissive. It was polite, no four letter words just here's the situation would you be interested. she replied with an email address on yahoo. I sent a reply that I would contact her and later another email that the yahoo email had failed. When I looked today both emails had been deleted unread so it's easy to surmise that she had delibrately given me a bogus email. Obviously she went out of her way to be rude. Those that are blunt to the point of being rude don't really have to. Sure they get emails from stupid people who don't read or don't comprehend what they're reading. Why not just delete them or if you don't want to hear from men just block them. Frankly do we really need to see how pissed off at the world you are. Do you really expect to attract a Dominant with a very unsubmissive profile. Seems to me that you defeat your purpose.

_____________________________

Sometime ago I decided it was time to change my nic. However I didn't wish to disconnect from my original profile. Since then I've signed Touch your mind (TYM or Tym). Opinions in my posts should be taken as my opinion and my opinion only.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 36

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 5:22:40 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

TotalMaster4you, some dominant men like a woman who seems unsubmissive in her profile. They like a strong woman who's submission does not come easily, a woman who will be a challenge. I'm not a submissive person in general. I'm actually a very dominant person, and I should hope that comes through in my profile. My submission is a precious gift for the very reason that it does NOT come easily.

I'll admit, I'm the worlds worst about being rude. You go out of your way to waste my time when you don't meet my criteria? Oh yeah, I'm going out of my way to send you a nasty email back.

Happened to me about 15min ago in fact. Guy emails me with "Would you be willing to be in a situation where there was a 2nd sub who you were dominant over?"

My response: "What part of the term "monogamous" are you unfamiliar with? Check the dictionary.".

I mean really, I have no time for stupid people or people who presume I am not intelligent enough to say EXACTLY what I mean in my profile.

When you have to read 200 emails and all of them are from losers who can't read, your patience wears mighty thin. I'm a little blunt and rude under the best of circumstances....dealing with me when I'm already annoyed is much worse.

_____________________________

"It's nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me. So be gentle if you please, 'cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth and it makes me want to make you near me always."

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)

Post #: 37

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 5:25:37 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

Do you really expect to attract a Dominant with a very unsubmissive profile. Seems to me that you defeat your purpose.

I guess it's all in how you define "unsubmissive". I am a person first and foremost. I do not subscribe to any set of "submissive" traits. So I'm not sure what "unsubmissive" means. And if someone makes a judgement not to like me from my profile, I'm not bothered by it because that means it's done its job...weeded out someone I don't want to talk to.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)

Post #: 38

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 6:44:55 PM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Profiles are just words. But they speak volumes about the authors. I skip by those angry crabby profiles because I know when I've rewritten my profile in a poor frame of mind or in a trying time in life I'm not ready to find what I want. I assume their mind set must be similar and it's not something I seek. But then again, I also skip by the one's that sound like they are selling a used car and promoting all their talents.

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 39

RE: profiles.... - 3/28/2007 7:00:17 PM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

I think there is a definite line between being simply "blunt" and being actively negative. I've read many of the profiles of the people on here (You're reading this thread? I read yours too!

) and none of them struck me as negative. They are simply people stating their limits and what they want.

To me, an actively negative profile would be one about.. say.. how all the Dommes on here are money-grubbing whores, or how its impossible to find a "real" submissive on this site. To me, making your boundaries clear is not negative. The negativity comes in when it seems the author of the profile has an active grudge and is using their profile to air it to the community at large.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 40

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