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Learning humility and being humble - 3/28/2007 2:18:07 PM

OnlyHis

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What does being humble mean to you?
Have you or are you learning the meaning of humility?
Were these two things hard to learn or is it a ongoing thing for you?
Just curious.

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/28/2007 2:22:46 PM

MasterFireMaam

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For me, the phrase that is utmost in my mind when dealing with humility? "I could be wrong."

Master Fire

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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/28/2007 2:30:18 PM

sweetstorm

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It was really hard for me to learn humility and I'm only just beginning I think.

I've had Doms in the past that I challenged constantly by pushing them to see what I could get away with before punishment. I've always been a button-pusher in every faucet of my life, so it was just in my nature to push. Plus, these were Doms who believed that physical punishment was the answer to everything. To me, physical punishment is a test of how much I can endure and I am proud of myself when I can get through it. That's not exactly punishment.

My current Dom is totally different for me. He is much gentler of a person and only has good intentions. I have so much respect for Him because I know that is about US not about servitude. Because of this, I have only pushed Him once and His disappointment in me was torment to me. That was when it truly struck me that I did not want to disappoint Him ever, that I wanted to be on my knees at His feet to do whatever I could for His pleasure and that I would gladly allow Him to do anything to me because I truly believe that He would never do anything to harm me and would only protect me.

That, to me, was a truly humbling experience to realize that I wasn't just physically submitting to someone my body but that I was mentally and emotionally submitting myself completely voluntarily. To realize that I have always looked at myself as everyone's equal but now I see that actually have more respect for Him than I do for myself. And that makes me want to be so much better.

I'm NOT good enough. I can do better than this.

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You need a parachute to skydive twice.

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/28/2007 2:56:19 PM

blmtrsne

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That my husband/slave goes down on me without hesitation when I want it, without expecting to get a favour in return. When he offered himself as my slave he never expected the lifestyle he has: he does not get tied up a lot, is seldom whipped, does not get CBT unless I want to enjoy myself in that way or I think he really needs a correction. It's not that he does not deserv it, he understands my needs are important, not his. So, when I lent him out to a sick (female) friend, he was the perfect servant, gentlemen and I was very proud of him. He knows he has to respect every woman and is happy to learn every day now. Very different from the guy I met: he hound himself to be very important and learned to be humble because all females are more important than he.

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/28/2007 3:55:23 PM

earthycouple

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetstorm

It was really hard for me to learn humility and I'm only just beginning I think.

I've had Doms in the past that I challenged constantly by pushing them to see what I could get away with before punishment. I've always been a button-pusher in every faucet of my life, so it was just in my nature to push. Plus, these were Doms who believed that physical punishment was the answer to everything. To me, physical punishment is a test of how much I can endure and I am proud of myself when I can get through it. That's not exactly punishment.

My current Dom is totally different for me. He is much gentler of a person and only has good intentions. I have so much respect for Him because I know that is about US not about servitude. Because of this, I have only pushed Him once and His disappointment in me was torment to me. That was when it truly struck me that I did not want to disappoint Him ever, that I wanted to be on my knees at His feet to do whatever I could for His pleasure and that I would gladly allow Him to do anything to me because I truly believe that He would never do anything to harm me and would only protect me.

That, to me, was a truly humbling experience to realize that I wasn't just physically submitting to someone my body but that I was mentally and emotionally submitting myself completely voluntarily. To realize that I have always looked at myself as everyone's equal but now I see that actually have more respect for Him than I do for myself. And that makes me want to be so much better.

I'm NOT good enough. I can do better than this.

Absolutely lovely. I am having a bit of a difficult time with my sub who speaks before thinking. His emotions run on overtime and he doesn't realize what being humble really means. I am working with him daily on this, and I seldom punish...only once actually in several months...but my patience are tried on a daily basis.

I've learned he has NO self confidence and I believe that his past relationships are dictating how he acts in this one. From what I understand he has been often left with no reasons as to why.

I don't work that way, I won't work that way, and will do everything I can to make this work because I know without a doubt deep down his is willing and wanting.
Thank you for your beautiful words,
D~

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/28/2007 6:13:40 PM

Aji

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i am still learning humility. dictionary defition, iono wtf it is. but it sounds an awful lot like "humiliation" and i dont like doing that. (duh bc its embarassing to feel humiliated).

iono i am still learning.

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/30/2007 6:13:41 PM

rollinonward05

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There have been many lessons i have learned at Masters knee. Some were easy to learn and some hard and i still learn today. Such as patience, being completely obedient to Master, and being humble and learning humility. But I have come a long ways since becoming his.
I am still a proud slave but now my pride is more in being his and doing and being all i can be to him and for him. Where i find my happiness in His. Being humble has not meant that i lost any of who i have always been and it could but does not necessarily have anything to do with humiliation either in my opinion. Being humble has its place within the dynamics of the relationship i cherish with Master.

humility - a disposition to be humble; a lack of false pride; humble-meekness or modesty in behavior, attitude, or spirit; not arrogant or prideful.

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/30/2007 6:28:27 PM

OnlyHis

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Got some good posting on this subject. In the Gorean forum there was a thread about humility that I found some interesting and helpful ideas and opinions. Here is the link to that.
http://www.collarchat.com/m_918446/tm.htm

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/30/2007 8:41:09 PM

behindmirrors

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I have spent enough time in my life attempting to learn pride, that I do not really worry about humility or being humble. I am not meek, I do not see myself as lower or inferior, and I do not place my life below others.

According to Dictionary.com:
hum·ble
1. not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.
2. having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.: In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.
3. low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc.; lowly: of humble origin; a humble home.
4. courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong.
5. low in height, level, etc.; small in size: a humble member of the galaxy.
6. to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.
7. to destroy the independence, power, or will of.
8. to make meek: to humble one's heart.
hu·mil·i·ty
the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc.
1. a disposition to be humble; a lack of false pride; "not everyone regards humility as a virtue"
2. a humble feeling; "he was filled with humility at the sight of the Pope"

I don't see my pride as false, and so that's the only way I could apply this definition to myself, personally, besides the bit about "not everyone regards humility as a virtue", since one of the greatest virtues I think of is pride. That works fine for me, and for the relationship I share in. I know that these are often seen as virtues, and especially in relation to submissives and slaves- but it is not something that I share in. I am a slave, I am proud, and I'm staying that way.

behindmirrors.

(edited for goofy formatting)

< Message edited by behindmirrors -- 3/30/2007 8:44:07 PM >

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/30/2007 11:16:01 PM

MzMia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: behindmirrors

I have spent enough time in my life attempting to learn pride, that I do not really worry about humility or being humble. I am not meek, I do not see myself as lower or inferior, and I do not place my life below others.

According to Dictionary.com:
hum·ble
1. not proud or arrogant; modest: to be humble although successful.
2. having a feeling of insignificance, inferiority, subservience, etc.: In the presence of so many world-famous writers I felt very humble.
3. low in rank, importance, status, quality, etc.; lowly: of humble origin; a humble home.
4. courteously respectful: In my humble opinion you are wrong.
5. low in height, level, etc.; small in size: a humble member of the galaxy.
6. to lower in condition, importance, or dignity; abase.
7. to destroy the independence, power, or will of.
8. to make meek: to humble one's heart.
hu·mil·i·ty
the quality or condition of being humble; modest opinion or estimate of one's own importance, rank, etc.
1. a disposition to be humble; a lack of false pride; "not everyone regards humility as a virtue"
2. a humble feeling; "he was filled with humility at the sight of the Pope"

I don't see my pride as false, and so that's the only way I could apply this definition to myself, personally, besides the bit about "not everyone regards humility as a virtue", since one of the greatest virtues I think of is pride. That works fine for me, and for the relationship I share in. I know that these are often seen as virtues, and especially in relation to submissives and slaves- but it is not something that I share in. I am a slave, I am proud, and I'm staying that way.
behindmirrors.

(edited for goofy formatting)

Wonderful thread.....to me, humility is defined, just as the dictionary defines the term.
Humility is one of the primary qualities I seek in a submissive or slave, it is also
a virtue that Dominants need to also have.
Everyone does not see humility as a virtue, but it is one of the highest virtues that someone
can have---to me. I am always impressed with those that have an abundance of this trait--->they glow.

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To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

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"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/30/2007 11:26:41 PM

velvetears

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i think its appreciating and having gratitude for everything that comes your way. It's also understanding you're place in this world, no better no less then anyone else. Being thankful for what you have and not lamenting what you don't have. Being able to give praise and take praise and keeping it all in persepctive.

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/31/2007 12:50:18 AM

DeSade401smo

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My first reaction to defining humility was that it means taking a step to the side and serving one's Owner quietly and without fanfare. Humble to me does not mean weak but rather strength.

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/31/2007 5:14:08 AM

raevnn

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I used to bounce around, online and off, being a smart mouthed, brash, brazen, willful, prideful little 'subbie.' I believed the other 'subbies' who told me that anyone who thought I should be any different was abusive and I should stay away from them. I used to use lots of 'key words' and took pride in the fact that I knew what I was talking about. I made other people feel bad about themselves by boasting and creating a stir...

... but no one I actually wanted was ever attracted to me when I was like that.

And, it wasn't really who I am. It was playing follow-the-leader behind a slew of 'subbies' who I thought were having a good time. I grew up a quiet, thoughtful child; aware of my surroundings and always attempting to help people. I even had manners. But I lost that, online and off, because I was weak and wanted to be accepted into that lovely pack mentality.

It's taken awhile, but I'm relearning humility. I now get ridiculed because I will not take part in petty arguments, snarking, teasing, and making fun of other people. I suppose it's fitting and karmically correct ;)
I'm learning, again, to be respectful, gentle, humble, patient, quiet and kind. It's second nature, truly... it's unlearning all of the other conditioning I got over the years that's the difficult part. I still speak my mind, I still laugh, and I smile even more... and I feel better about the reasons why. I actually like who I am again. I finally got what I was looking for and I did it without shouting or griping or making fun of anyone else - I did it by remembering who I am.

< Message edited by raevnn -- 3/31/2007 5:17:44 AM >

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/31/2007 5:45:59 AM

Aileen68

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This has been my downfall. It's so lacking within my personality that it has caused so many problems and directly led to the end of a nice relationship. In the past I haven't had the ability to admit that I've been unable to handle things on my own and that I've needed help. I took the hard route and instead of just saying help I allowed all kinds of passive aggressive feelings and pride rule my thinking, my words and my actions. By the time I realized that the only way for this to work was to admit my weaknesses to him, it was too late and too much damage was done. He had no desire to be involved with my emotional rollercoaster and I can't really blame him for that. I've learned that humilty needs to be balanced with my pride. Too much of either can be disasterous.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 3/31/2007 5:49:56 AM >

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 3/31/2007 7:29:56 AM

juliaoceania

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I was taught by my extremely humble mother to be self depricating about the way I look, my intellect, and my abilities. It led to this awful feeling of that I must be perfect or I was not lovable. There is also something called false humility and I still suffer from it at times. I minimize my accomplishments and my abilities. I began to realize this when I would put myself and my accomplishments down to my UM, and have him get angry when I would insult myself. It was also one of the few things my therapist actually pointed out to me that I found helpful, my inability to see myself objectively and my own worth.

I now take pride in myself, my accomplishments, and I feel lovable. I know my intrinsic worth, and I do not see it as dependent on anything but my humanity. I would say that false pride comes from a source of feeling badly about oneself too.

Now I feel humbled by life in general, life has a way of showing me daily how truly awe inspiring it is! I am not a humble person generally anymore, although I do show humility often, especially to my Daddy because I have come to revere his opinion.

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 4/1/2007 7:29:40 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

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One of the things that I'vefound is missing from my personality in my travels as a submissive is humility. It's a constant struggle with me to defer to someone and to completely give myself to them. It's difficult, there is a mixture of fear and pride withing my personality that makes it very difficult to become completely vulnerable. I've been trying to be more humble, to shift my mindset in another direction, but I know I am not where I need to be. I will get there eventually, but it's all part of my own personal journey.

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 4/1/2007 9:06:11 PM

SimplyMichael

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Sweet,

It is for posts like yours that I come here, thank you!

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 4/1/2007 10:18:29 PM

DawnFire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky

One of the things that I'vefound is missing from my personality in my travels as a submissive is humility. It's a constant struggle with me to defer to someone and to completely give myself to them. It's difficult, there is a mixture of fear and pride withing my personality that makes it very difficult to become completely vulnerable. I've been trying to be more humble, to shift my mindset in another direction, but I know I am not where I need to be. I will get there eventually, but it's all part of my own personal journey.

Not that I don't appreciate the female opinions on this subject, but it's nice to hear a male submissive come out and talk about the difficulties with being humble. Thank you for your post.

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 4/2/2007 7:12:55 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DawnFire

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky

One of the things that I'vefound is missing from my personality in my travels as a submissive is humility. It's a constant struggle with me to defer to someone and to completely give myself to them. It's difficult, there is a mixture of fear and pride withing my personality that makes it very difficult to become completely vulnerable. I've been trying to be more humble, to shift my mindset in another direction, but I know I am not where I need to be. I will get there eventually, but it's all part of my own personal journey.

Not that I don't appreciate the female opinions on this subject, but it's nice to hear a male submissive come out and talk about the difficulties with being humble. Thank you for your post.

Anytime. I'm here to learn, and if i can help through sharing my thoughts and experience, that's good too :)

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RE: Learning humility and being humble - 4/2/2007 9:28:38 PM

Celeste43

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Humbling me or lowering my value of myself in my own eyes was and is the last thing he wants of me. I was just out of a bad marriage and it has been an ongoing process for him to help me become stronger and more powerful, more sure of myself and not less. After all, the more power I have in myself, the more I can hand over to him.

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