MadRabbit
Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
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Sorry, gonna offend some people, but some of this is just a bunch of crap. Some people need to pull their heads out of their own asses and think realistically. I'm not talking about privacy in the scene here, but rather the notion of predators.
Flip open your newspaper to the local Shared Rental section of your newspaper. How many people post personal phone numbers in their adds? All of them! What are they? Frigging nuts? Posting their personal numbers on a public information source?
Flip over to Rent.com. How many people post phone numbers on the adds there? Very few.
Compare the personal advertisements in a newspaper or magazine to personal advertisements on Collarme.com. All the ones in a newspaper or magazine have phone numbers but none on Collarme.com will.
How come? What makes posting a personal phone number in the newspaper so much safer than posting one on the Internet? How come I was so hesitant to put my own number on Rent.com in my rental add when I had no problem posting my cell phone number in the local newspaper?
You know how many women I have had walk into my house without a safe call after answering my add in the newspaper for a roommate?
I doubt the number of women who are picked up, drunk at a bar and date raped BEFORE the Internet came around is drastically different from the number of women who are date raped off the Internet. Men have simply found a new way to meet women for sex...this one, however, doesn't require buying a drink. The Internet is the new pub! The difference is the old pub wasn't filled with signs on every wall convincing you that every single person in the entire world is a psycho axe murder. No one needed to. It was already a widely known fact that men simply want sex. The Internet has provided an even better way for men to get sex without calling the next day and everyone is surprised when they use it.
Yes, these people do exist. Yes, there is bad people in this world. But we are conditioned on a regular basis by American society and media to think that everyone in this country is a gun toting homicidal psycho with a collection of chopped off human heads.
If the percentage of "bad shit" compared to the percentage of "good shit" on the news was the same as the percentages of "bad shit" and "good shit" in the actual real world, the entire world would be in total chaos and anarchy! But its not. In fact, most people go their entire lives without being witness to more than a small handful of crimes. A small handful compared to the monstrous number of healthy and safe interactions between the majority of us who are simply decent people.
"Bad shit" makes people watch television. Nobody wants to hear about all the 3000 safe and happy encounters with people. They want to hear about that one psycho who didn't get held enough as a child so he decided to collect women's feet.
The Internet gets the worst press of all. What better way to continue to inspire paranoia and fear in the American people then focusing on the one communication tool that is strictly anonymous and has the most uncertainty surrounding its participants. Ignore all the 5000 normal and healthy interactions between adults that occur on a daily basis off the Net. Focus on the handful of psycho child molesters sending cock shots to fifteen year olds. Next thing you know...everyone's lost to complete Internet paranoia.
The Internet paranoia is so bad that we're afraid to post phone numbers on rent.com but have zero problems posting one in a local newspaper.
Yeah...there is normal and nice guys who work great jobs who are really psychopaths who molest children. So what are we going to do? Live in paranoia and fear that every normal and nice guy you meet is a closest axe murder? If you start doing that, then your pretty fucked.
It boils down to two things for me :
1. Simple common sense. Meet people in a public place. Use a safe call if the person is completely anonymous to you. Dint rush over to his house and throw off your clothes while lost in your "sub frenzy." Hell, if you really are concerned about safety, focus more on a local BDSM community for meeting mates then the Net. Thats my first piece of advice to any newbie who asks for some.
2. Trust your intuition. This is really where it's at, because its...all...we...really...have.
All this paranoia and safety preaching has got everyone so screwed up into thinking they cant trust anyone anymore and cant trust themselves.
As much as we like to think we can take all these precautions and be completely safe, its just not realistic. Anytime you meet and interact with any stranger, your taking on some degree of risk that this person isn't going to fuck you over. Since we cant lock ourselves away in a bunker, armed to the teeth and secluded from all human contact, we have to meet strangers and expose ourselves to this risk to lead prosperous and thriving lives.
If you don't learn to trust your gut feelings, then regardless of all the illusionary safety precautions you take with people, at some point, your gonna get in the ass really hard.
When I think back on all the strangers I have met in public places and taken off with for a night of fun or gone over to their houses for dinner alone after a simple one time meeting (Sometimes even sex! Oh no!), I must be a pretty unsafe and crazy person. I must be on a straight narrow path to being chopped up and in a barrel. Or maybe I have learned to trust my own gut and my judgements of people.
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