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RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 5:17:18 AM   
BoundDragon


Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline 		I think the virtues I try to stay true to are all part of my personality anyway.

I am loyal right to the end, no ifs or buts
I have complete trust
I give nothing but complete honesty
I give my support and encouragement no matter what
I always give all my heart.. he has all my love
I try never to show complacency... or take him for granted

These are the most important things I feel, I'm sure there are other that I probably dont even realise I do.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 9:09:19 AM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: viperess

Greetings,
Obsidiansnamaste said a mouth full there. she said it much better than i could have and i agree with it 100%


ah yes viperess !  DITTO
I'd like to mention something here about loyalty and faithfulness.
Is there a difference?  I was thinking about it because I had never been asked to be loyal before. So I went in search.
The dictionary says ~~ Loyality is faithfulness or a devotion to a person or cause.
When I brought my thoughts to Sir, he explained it this way ~~
Faithful is generally used in a sexual context. You remain faithful to one person sexually.
Loyalty, on the other hand, is related to character and the integrity of one's life journey.
One can remain faithful but not be loyal.
If one is loyal, they are also faithful.



_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to viperess)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 9:10:31 AM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I agree. Being a bottom doesn't make someone less worthy of these characteristics. It is just want works for them. All these characteristics apply to bottoms as well as anyone else involved in the lifestyle.


Thank you *s*

I have a question of my own to pose, not to steal the thread from the OP but hopefully to clarify his exclusion.
This thread made me wonder just what  you (myobedience) thinks a bottom is? Do you think that we all have no value of certian virtues?  Not all bottoms go from one Top to another (some do and if that works for them that is all that matters)  I personally don't, how I like to play is too personal and too dangerous to do with a random stranger.-----You could even say that is part of my virtues *s*

I identify closest to the label bottom,  I value my Top aslo as a friend and consider Rob and myself to be an extention of Knight of Mists poly family, as they are an extention of ours.

I value honor first and foremost as that  trait can cover so many others, if a person has honor and integrity the rest follow in suite.

I'm not sure what I have for a virtue, I would like to think honesty and integrity are mine as well. I hold to them by not comprimising my core values and being true to myself in in difficult situations when it would be easier just to go with the flow, or to speaking up, wether it is to Rob, my Top or others that I look up to I will ( politely as I can in the moment) say what I think and feel especially if something is happening that goes against what I feel is right.

I don't think 'testing' your partner to see  what their virtues are is healthy, that is liking trying to set someone up to fail just so you can yel  'AH HA!, I knew it!' at them, who they are and what their core beliefs are, are intrisnic parts of  personality and they are either going to comeout favorable or not to a sub/slave/bottoms/  own and that is where fostering healthy relationships come in.


denika
the bottom *g*

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 9:20:15 AM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: myobedience

I really do not want bottoms to respond.... they are about scene or play in public or private .... this is for submissives/slaves whose motivation is truly submission to a Dom/me or even Poly group.

.......

I did not exhaust the list....  
 


mmmmmm      Open-Mindedness........

but then considering your above comment... maybe you left this out on purpose


Yes I did!
Aside from those who might seek to judge me for not including it ~~
LA: your comment was unnecessary and shows a limited understanding of the variety of relationships and personalities which exist.  You DO know that a person can be both a slave AND a bottom, yes?
There was a purpose to exclude those who strictly bottom.
 
And if I would rewrite the original post, I was say ~~
When looking for a Dominant for relationship, what virtures/characteristics would you seek before anything else? 
instead of ~~ 
Do you demand the same of your Dom if in a relationship?

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 9:24:42 AM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoundDragon
I try never to show complacency... or take him for granted


You are right BoundDragon...
I have never thought of this.
Thank you.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to BoundDragon)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 9:31:58 AM   
BoundDragon


Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myobedience

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoundDragon
I try never to show complacency... or take him for granted


You are right BoundDragon...
I have never thought of this.
Thank you.


My pleasure.

(in reply to myobedience)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 9:44:49 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		Just as a matter of contrariness on my part for those saying Integrity is followed by everything else I disagree entirely it's a cart horse thing One cannot integrate (the root of integrity) their values until they have them.

Integrity is afterall the value of integrating all your values into the life actions you take.

(in reply to BoundDragon)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 10:09:36 AM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I agree. Being a bottom doesn't make someone less worthy of these characteristics. It is just want works for them. All these characteristics apply to bottoms as well as anyone else involved in the lifestyle.


Thank you *s*

I have a question of my own to pose, not to steal the thread from the OP but hopefully to clarify his exclusion.
This thread made me wonder just what  you (myobedience) thinks a bottom is? My definition of bottom is from my experience.  When I was exploring different types of play for limits, I was a bottom.  I did not belong to anyone.  When I did belong to someone, I would bottom for other doms as submission to him.
So my definiton of bottom is someone who is submissive during a very short period for a specific activity.
When I posed this question I had a purpose. 
I wanted responses from submissives in relationships, notice I did use the word relationship, who were not bottom submissives for a specific period or specific activity.
I should have added disclaimers everywhere in my post, I suppose????
Do you think that we all have no value of certian virtues? 
You judge me to be shallow and narrow minded.  ALL PEOPLE have value and virtues/characteristics that make them specifically unique to themselves.

Not all bottoms go from one Top to another (some do and if that works for them that is all that matters)  I personally don't, how I like to play is too personal and too dangerous to do with a random stranger.-----You could even say that is part of my virtues *s*
Would a bottom necessarily look for faithfulness or loyalty in a top for a specific time or activity ?? But if they fail to look for honesty, integrity, safe, sane, consensual, responsibility, trustworthy..then they are risking themselves at the hand of a stranger.

I identify closest to the label bottom,  I value my Top aslo as a friend and consider Rob and myself to be an extention of Knight of Mists poly family, as they are an extention of ours.
Then you are submissive to Rob and bottom as an extension of a poly family?
Then tell us about virtues about you and Rob and dont judge me for the other part. 
I value honor first and foremost as that  trait can cover so many others, if a person has honor and integrity the rest follow in suite.

I'm not sure what I have for a virtue,
You have plenty of virtues !! You surely have many of these virtues ~~ love, joyfulness, peaceable and peaceful,  patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, obedience, self control.....??

I would like to think honesty and integrity are mine as well. I hold to them by not comprimising my core values
Would not core values would be considered virtues/characteristics ??

and being true to myself in in difficult situations when it would be easier just to go with the flow, or to speaking up, wether it is to Rob, my Top or others that I look up to I will ( politely as I can in the moment) say what I think and feel especially if something is happening that goes against what I feel is right.

I don't think 'testing' your partner to see  what their virtues are is healthy,
Testing.... If I could edit my post now I would write ~~
If you began to doubt any virtue in another person, because they have caused some distrust in the particular area, how would you
test or evaluate for further inconsistency?
rather than ~~
How do you test it in another?

that is liking trying to set someone up to fail just so you can yel  'AH HA!, I knew it!' at them, who they are and what their core beliefs are, are intrisnic parts of  personality and they are either going to comeout favorable or not to a sub/slave/bottoms/  own and that is where fostering healthy relationships come in.


denika
the bottom *g*



I asked a straight forward question (without a ton of disclaimers) I thought about virtues in a relationship... been accused of being narrow minded, told I didnt need to write one disclaimer, not know what a bottom is, devaluing people in general for lack of virtues, and showing a limited understanding of the variety of relationships and personalities which exist.

* shrugs
 

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to denika)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 10:13:02 AM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

Just as a matter of contrariness on my part for those saying Integrity is followed by everything else I disagree entirely it's a cart horse thing One cannot integrate (the root of integrity) their values until they have them.

Integrity is afterall the value of integrating all your values into the life actions you take.



I also believe this.
One cannot have integrity without certain characteristics, core values, virtues that they practice daily, consistently in all areas of their life.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 10:53:05 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I really do not want bottoms to respond.... they are about scene or play in public or private .... this is for submissives/slaves whose motivation is truly submission to a Dom/me or even Poly group.

 
I do not know why it was necessary to add this, and personally I believe that all these characteristics are equally valuable to people everywhere depending on their situation.


Thank you, Julia.

To the OP: Do you think those qualities are not important in a Top/Bottom situation?

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 11:05:45 AM   
Texy


Posts: 45
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline 		i am a slave.

I am pleased to see that there are people of virtue on this site.

i am also an artist and have lived my life that way, until a few months ago. i have been around this lifestyle for two years. joined collarme back in aug. of last year. met someone in feb and my life suddenly changed. floundered for the last month and now, i'll move there in two months.

i live for the one. i have and will have the virtues she molds me to have....nothing more, nothing less.

Chastise me, burn me at the stake, it will not diminish the fact, i live for Her and She owns me, everything I have, everything I will be, I live for the one.

slave

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 11:41:32 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
To the OP: Do you think those qualities are not important in a Top/Bottom situation?

She seems to get upset and defensive rather than working through the questions and objections brought to her attention.  This is a frequent pattern of hers.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 12:55:45 PM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I really do not want bottoms to respond.... they are about scene or play in public or private .... this is for submissives/slaves whose motivation is truly submission to a Dom/me or even Poly group.

 
I do not know why it was necessary to add this, and personally I believe that all these characteristics are equally valuable to people everywhere depending on their situation.


Thank you, Julia.

To the OP: Do you think those qualities are not important in a Top/Bottom situation?


LOL.........
contrary to what LA says, if you'd read the post above I did answer this question

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 2:02:30 PM   
Texy


Posts: 45
Joined: 8/25/2006
Status: offline 		i am a slave.

My mistake too there myobedience, I didn't know a shrug was an answer to a question.
As I learned in another thread, it's a way to burn off calories.


slave


I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. ~Robert Frost~

(in reply to myobedience)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 3:10:34 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myobedience

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I really do not want bottoms to respond.... they are about scene or play in public or private .... this is for submissives/slaves whose motivation is truly submission to a Dom/me or even Poly group.

 
I do not know why it was necessary to add this, and personally I believe that all these characteristics are equally valuable to people everywhere depending on their situation.


Thank you, Julia.

To the OP: Do you think those qualities are not important in a Top/Bottom situation?


LOL.........
contrary to what LA says, if you'd read the post above I did answer this question


No, actually, you didn't. My question was a yes or no question. Never at any point have you said whether you think those qualities are important in a Top/Bottom situation.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to myobedience)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 4:58:56 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		 
myobedience:  quotes in purple
[I should have added disclaimers everywhere in my post, I suppose????
 
Probably should have, like all labels they are subject to interpretation, I am more than a title, as we all are....  A bit like saying all bottoms are masochists, which isn't the case.
 
You judge me to be shallow and narrow minded.  ALL PEOPLE have value and virtues/characteristics that make them specifically unique to themselves.
 
I don't make the assumption to judge but what you asked, in your wording was that the type of relationships we have with our Tops don't have the same system of values.

Would a bottom necessarily look for faithfulness or loyalty in a top for a specific time or activity ?? But if they fail to look for honesty, integrity, safe, sane, consensual, responsibility, trustworthy..then they are risking themselves at the hand of a stranger.

I can only speak for myself and yes, I look for that, at least the loyalty part, but loyalty to me means  we stand beside each other through good and bad, but then I am friends first with my Top, I also have respect.  I don't expect my husband to be faithful *s* just honest.    In a Top I look for integrty,honesty, loyalty int hat what I tell him/her and vice versa it stays  that way.   You are right, there are those who risks themselves regularily, emotionally and physicly.

Then you are submissive to Rob and bottom as an extension of a poly family?
Then tell us about virtues about you and Rob and dont judge me for the other part.
 
Rob and I are not in a D/s relationship, he is my husband, my partner my bestfriend, he will play me with my Top but has no intrest of doing so alone, he has his own kink *g*     I'm not judging you, I am questioning your views.   I would like to think we are an extention of their poly family not just because I bottom. 
 
You have plenty of virtues !! You surely have many of these virtues ~~ love, joyfulness, peaceable and peaceful,  patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, obedience, self control.....??

Thank you, self control, lol at times. More so than most give me credit for considering I am an adrenaline junkie.... And I get the sarcasm there, good tactic tho, compliment then challenge


Would not core values would be considered virtues/characteristics ??
 
They are nearly one and the same, but then a characteristic is diffrent than a virtue. I have a very morbid sense of humor, that is a characteristic, it's a coping mechanism that I can easily use or not use where as my virtures don't change...

Testing.... If I could edit my post now I would write ~~
If you began to doubt any virtue in another person, because they have caused some distrust in the particular area, how would you
test or evaluate for further inconsistency?
rather than ~~
How do you test it in another?

Other than asking straight out, I wouldn't 'test' or set up somone I cared about to check on their integrity.  If it was ever a problem that I felt I needed to do something like that, there would be bigger issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you are going to ask questions of people in relationships, do you not think you might get a broader sense from including all type of relationships??



denika

< Message edited by denika -- 4/1/2007 5:03:36 PM >

(in reply to myobedience)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 7:39:05 PM   
myobedience


Posts: 472
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: myobedience

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I really do not want bottoms to respond.... they are about scene or play in public or private .... this is for submissives/slaves whose motivation is truly submission to a Dom/me or even Poly group.

 
I do not know why it was necessary to add this, and personally I believe that all these characteristics are equally valuable to people everywhere depending on their situation.


Thank you, Julia.

To the OP: Do you think those qualities are not important in a Top/Bottom situation?


LOL.........
contrary to what LA says, if you'd read the post above I did answer this question


No, actually, you didn't. My question was a yes or no question. Never at any point have you said whether you think those qualities are important in a Top/Bottom situation.


ALL PEOPLE have value and virtues/characteristics that make them specifically unique to themselves. 
Thus the answer to your question, obviously yes.

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you is the only Man truly worthy of being called Master.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 9:33:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myobedience
No, actually, you didn't. My question was a yes or no question. Never at any point have you said whether you think those qualities are important in a Top/Bottom situation.

ALL PEOPLE have value and virtues/characteristics that make them specifically unique to themselves. 
Thus the answer to your question, obviously yes.

Actually that sounds like the answer to the question is no- you're saying that each relationship has a unique set of virtues/characteristics different from another and thus there is no comparison/likeness between them.

I would say that, yes, each relationship formulates is own unique snowflake blend of characteristics, virtues, expectations, responsibilities, etc- but that at its foundation, all healthy relationships have the same basic matrix, just like snowflakes.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to myobedience)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: most important virtues - 4/1/2007 9:51:04 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		A virtue is a characteristic that has been labeled as good in the eyes of Whatever person or group.
Generally I find that the characteristics virtues I like in a slave are reflective of what I value in any person, different only in perspective or application.

Self Discipline is something I like in anyone Top bottom Master slave etc. How the self discipline manifests itself will vary depending on the label.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: most important virtues - 4/2/2007 7:19:08 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		As a male submissive, I'd say my list would start with:

Honesty/Integrity
Compassion
Creativity
Intelligence
Sense of Humor
Passion
Confidence
Courage


Obviously this list is not all emcompassing, but I think it is a pretty good start.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 40
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