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Vanilla Dates! - 3/31/2007 8:26:51 PM   
MissSCD


Posts: 1185
Joined: 3/10/2007
Status: offline 		My slave and I had a very relaxing date today.  Instead of the usual scene type date we do, we took the day off and had a vanilla date.
That is what I refer to as a date without BDSM in it.
We went to dinner.  Then we went for a long drive in the country enjoying all of the blooms down here as well as shopped some.   We came home and watched some television. 
Today was my first Saturday off in about a month, and he has been working overtime quite a bit lately.  We just wanted to hang out.
Do you all have "Vanilla Dates"? 

Regards,  MissSCD
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Vanilla Dates! - 3/31/2007 8:30:16 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		greetings all,
greetings missscd,

if we do stuff that isn't kinky, but i'm still submissive to Him as is normal when we're doing it, does that count as a vanilla date?

if so, then pretty much all the time we don't spend in the bedroom...or in the playroom...is one big vanilla date. ;) we have dinner together a lot, and i don't go around leashed during dinner, or anything like that. i'm not required to kneel while i knit, read, or watch tv when i'm at His house. we look like any other couple when we go on trips (although i think we might occasionally annoy the folks in the hotel rooms next to us...we do our best not to). we don't consider it vanilla, because our dynamic is inherent in our relationship, but some might consider it such.

respectfully,
annabelle.


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i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to MissSCD)
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RE: Vanilla Dates! - 3/31/2007 8:32:32 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		While I never stop being his submissive, plenty of the things we do look pretty vanilla from the outside. Particularly when I've begged him to take me to a chick flick.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MissSCD)
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RE: Vanilla Dates! - 3/31/2007 8:33:18 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline 		Well I know I sure do, and enjoy them.  There's more to life other than 24/7 BDSM scene play.  It's good to get out and do other things. Diversity! What did you think BDSM somehow excludes or takes you off to another universe or different world? Sorry, I just could not help myself with that remark.

Dinner, Movies, Shopping, going places and doing other things is all part of life.  BDSM is just another facet to living, but not the BE ALL, END ALL to living.

(in reply to MissSCD)
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RE: Vanilla Dates! - 3/31/2007 9:42:28 PM   
Valyraen


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

While I never stop being his submissive, plenty of the things we do look pretty vanilla from the outside. Particularly when I've begged him to take me to a chick flick.


"Begged" isn't quite the word I'd use, kitten... when you want to go see a chick flick, I don't get any lasting peace until you've seen it. A dominant has no power against the tidal wave of estrogenical cinema.

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RE: Vanilla Dates! - 3/31/2007 9:50:49 PM   
azzmaster


Posts: 864
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		i think its strange to think just because ur not floggin someone etc its vanilla... the power exchange exists no matter what the activity is

(in reply to Valyraen)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Vanilla Dates! - 3/31/2007 11:52:06 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Most Ms relationships look exactly like most vanilla relationships about 90% of the time.

Going to the movies isn't a vanilla act or a bdsm act- it's just something people do.

I'm glad you guys were able to just BE together and do what you wanted rather than worry about stupid labels and fantasies. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Vanilla Dates! - 4/1/2007 4:55:09 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I think when I'm someone's sub often we do vanilla venue things. Still underneith is the aTPE where the Dom's been fully in control in D/s ways even at a family cookout.
So while activities seemed to be only vanilla we brought the energy exchange with us that still keeps vanilla events D/s.
I think D/s M/s is all encompasing. It's not something I can turn on and off with someone short of no longer choosing to submit period.
It's always with me just like my nose.
It goes with us no matter what the day at hand holds.
suzanne

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Vanilla Dates! - 4/1/2007 7:21:50 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i merely date without the "vanilla" description attached to it. it doesn't make a difference if the guy i'm with is nilla or in BDSM, i'm going out to have a good time in their company

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RE: Vanilla Dates! - 4/1/2007 7:25:06 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		We have days, times when the D/s dynamic is not as prominent as normal. I wouldn't say we nilla date as we are not nilla but we have times we just wander round places we both enjoy holding hands and talking etc etc.

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What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Vanilla Dates! - 4/1/2007 8:01:18 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		We do all those things, but we do not call them dates really, and they are not vanilla either. Most of our time is spent doing the same things that other people do, it is the dynamic that is always in the background that makes it not vanilla. Example, for my birthday last week he took me and my unmentionable to a special ice cream place (I adore ice cream!). I can assure you there was not one BDSM element to it, but there was the D/s element to it, there always is. There is always a look, a pat, a comment made that only we understand... it is completely psychological and emotional... and undetectable to outsiders

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

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(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Vanilla Dates! - 4/1/2007 11:01:36 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		i think probably most in some form of M/s or D/s relationship spend at least 75% of the time doing non bdsm oriented stuff - like going to the movies or taking a ride in the country etc.  The nice aspect to this is that while engaging in those activities there is the underlying psychological aspect still going on - at any moment you could be challenged or called to do something - ie: pull over to the side of a country road and give your dom a bj or maybe he wants to bend you over the hood of the car and spank you etc..



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RE: Vanilla Dates! - 4/1/2007 4:30:41 PM   
curiouslyseeking


Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSCD

My slave and I had a very relaxing date today.  Instead of the usual scene type date we do, we took the day off and had a vanilla date.
That is what I refer to as a date without BDSM in it.
We went to dinner.  Then we went for a long drive in the country enjoying all of the blooms down here as well as shopped some.   We came home and watched some television. 
Today was my first Saturday off in about a month, and he has been working overtime quite a bit lately.  We just wanted to hang out.
Do you all have "Vanilla Dates"? 

Regards,  MissSCD


I'm glad you had a wonderful day with your slave...it sounds as if you enjoyed life..and remember life is not about just scenes.
 
However, I just cannot use the term "vanilla date".  I don't have a "vanilla side" and a "submissive side"....I'm just me, a slave, with many many diversified interest.
 
Have fun on your next venture..
curious

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Vanilla Dates! - 4/1/2007 4:42:03 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		We do things that people would consider vanilla all of the time, because we must be able to navigate the world around us. That being said...ask me this again after nine holes of golf with Him...not sure how submissive I'll be feeling right about then.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Vanilla Dates! - 4/1/2007 4:52:57 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

We do things that people would consider vanilla all of the time, because we must be able to navigate the world around us. That being said...ask me this again after nine holes of golf with Him...not sure how submissive I'll be feeling right about then.


*giggles* That I understand completely.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Vanilla Dates! - 4/1/2007 9:47:53 PM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		hi
gotta agree with LA here.
We are a couple, yes we are living in a D/s relationship but....
we have family, we have 'vanilla' friends, we have workmates.
i will always be His submissive just as He will always be my Dom but we have a life that emcompasses all.
We go do coffee, a meal, shopping. We argue about politics and current affairs. Our life together is about more than the D/s
hugs
c

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 16
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