RE: In hindsight... you can't order someone to feel better.

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: In hindsight... you can't order someone to feel better.

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RE: In hindsight... you can't order someone to feel bet... - 4/3/2007 9:01:43 AM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
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I have requested that when he is disappointed, he gives me some insight into why he is disappointed and how I can correct the behavior that sent him there. Usually, he gives me this feedback. With this information, I can stop focusing on my problems or weaknesses and start focusing on just becoming better. Earlier in the relationship, I feel like disappointment was a challenge to my submission and essentially a signal that I was not a twue submissive. It still upsets me, but it doesn't shake me to my core. It's just another sign that something needs to be tweak or fixed. After that, we move on.

< Message edited by junecleaver -- 4/3/2007 9:04:02 AM >

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(in reply to mythi)

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RE: In hindsight... you can't order someone to feel bet... - 4/3/2007 9:26:42 AM

blushingflower

Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
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I've always hated disappointing anyone.
Just as hearing my Daddy say he's proud of me makes my heart swell, hearing him say he's disappointed makes it fall. Hearing him say he's disappointed in me is one of the worst punishments he could possibly dish out.
If he simply pointed out a mistake, without saying he was disappointed, I could handle that much better, it's a simple correction. As much as I hate doing something wrong, as long as I didn't upset him with my mistake, I can accept the correction. I hate the thought of either disappointing him or otherwise upsetting him, though.

(in reply to DawnFire)

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RE: In hindsight... you can't order someone to feel bet... - 4/3/2007 8:28:19 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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Joined: 10/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: raevnn

I tend to need to 'fix it' or I have trouble letting it go.

For me this is also how I feel, however with that said, when I have created disappointment..I step back..distance myself and analyze the situation..Many times I will feel guilt and attempt to "fix" it..but other times following the guilt comes anger..anger at myself..anger at him...anger at the situation..not sure if this is a good way or a bad way to be..for me however it just is...