quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn
when i told him that if we would have known my job situation that we could have played longer. To which he replied that he only comes down here to play (he finally has work to do). Yes i was stunned a little bit about it but was able to shake it off.
Thank you

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

I don't really understand what the issue is.  Are you concerned that what he said meant that all you have is play and no deeper relationship?  It seems like until you know what exactly the issue is, or even if there actually is an issue, there is not much to do.  Talk about your concerns with your partner.  Right now, from what little I got from the post, that's all I can recommend.

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I would suggest you show him this thread and ask him point blank if something has changed or if you did something wrong. It may have nothing to do with you at all. I would think that it would be a relief to know it was something entirely unrelated to you.

I am very empathic when it comes to my Daddy, I sense when things are not "right". I used to internalize this as something I did wrong, some dissatisfaction with me. Over and over again I would ask if I had done something wrong, but invariably it was something unrelated to me entirely. In other words it was usually work, money issues, or family issues that were troubling him. Now I assume it is something else, not me, that is getting to him. I ask him if he wants to share it, and wait patiently for him to do so.

None of us can answer your question, only he can. While I never ask a question that I do not desire the answer to, at the same time some questions have to be asked. It sounds like being blunt is called for in this case... even if you get an answer that you did not want, it will only prolong eventually getting it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

I don't really understand what the issue is. Are you concerned that what he said meant that all you have is play and no deeper relationship? It seems like until you know what exactly the issue is, or even if there actually is an issue, there is not much to do. Talk about your concerns with your partner. Right now, from what little I got from the post, that's all I can recommend.

Sorry, i'll try to clarify it further. After my Dom and i talked on Thursday it seems like he isn't willing to talk to me as much anymore. And i'm not sure if this stems from our Thursday conversation or if there is something else bothering him that he doesn't want to share. Hopefully this makes a little more sense to you

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Good morning,
i'm not sure where exactly to post this so i decided to start here. Anyways, my Dom and i played last Thursday and i'm pretty sure i overstepped the boundary when i told him that if we would have known my job situation that we could have played longer. To which he replied that he only comes down here to play (he finally has work to do). Yes i was stunned a little bit about it but was able to shake it off. But now it seems that he's either hiding something or that there's something else going on, and i'm afraid that it has to do with me but not sure. i did im him last night like i was supposed to, and called him this morning when i got up like i was supposed to, but something doesn't seem right. i than decided to im him back to try to figure something out, so i'm just now waiting to see if and when he does reply. Yes this does hurt on the inside since we have always been open to each other until recently. Does anyone else have any experience with this and how did you manage to get over it? Any other suggestions would be greatly helpful.
  Thank you

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Good morning,
i'm not sure where exactly to post this so i decided to start here. Anyways, my Dom and i played last Thursday and i'm pretty sure i overstepped the boundary when i told him that if we would have known my job situation that we could have played longer. To which he replied that he only comes down here to play (he finally has work to do). Yes i was stunned a little bit about it but was able to shake it off. But now it seems that he's either hiding something or that there's something else going on, and i'm afraid that it has to do with me but not sure. i did im him last night like i was supposed to, and called him this morning when i got up like i was supposed to, but something doesn't seem right. i than decided to im him back to try to figure something out, so i'm just now waiting to see if and when he does reply. Yes this does hurt on the inside since we have always been open to each other until recently. Does anyone else have any experience with this and how did you manage to get over it? Any other suggestions would be greatly helpful.
  Thank you

Hello grl...the problem here is that what he said can be interpreted several ways even if we had the gist of the entire conversation and we don't, which can lead to further speculation.

Without knowing him and without knowing your relationship and with no bias one way or the other, here are some of those things he may have meant by stating :
"I only come down to play...."

a.  I need to get back because the new job is hard, I want to hang onto it, so I have to get my rest so I am at work on time

b.  If it wasn't for you and how much fun I have with you, I wouldn't make this drive

c.  I am not interested in a full-blown D/s relationship with you but I do love the way you play

d.  I have another submissive that I have begun seeing/talking to that is more interested than you are in a full D/s relationship but she won't play yet but you will and do and so, I come down to play...BUT nothing more.

e.  I'm tired and stressed after a hard day and I really don't want to deal with other parts of the relationship during the work week except play

f.  On and on and on...............................

As has been noted, the only way to find out is to communicate fully what you felt and ask him.  Others have noted that it may be best to let it go.  I disagree...given the ambiguity of his statement...and all the things that can be meant by that statement...and all the things that you've thought of...I don't think you are going to just let it go.  You may hold it in and it will eventually die away due to actions of his that prove that it was just an oddity...not a well-thought-out statement on his part...or his continuing actions, though they may in and of themselves be completely innocent but uncaring/discourteous/too casual bring the festering sore to an explosion.  Better to talk about it now. 

***DISCLAIMER:  The above is MOO.  Though clearly stated that I was speculating and presenting possible ideas for consideration that were given without prejudice nor knowledge of this couple's dynamic, my words may be misconstrued by some as me trying to come off as Lord High Protector of fairly new submissives.  That interpretation would be your own and not mine...and does not fit the clearly articulated paragraphs above...therefore, I cannot and will not be held liable for any injury to your brain from such a contortionistic twisting of my intentions***

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Good morning,
i'm not sure where exactly to post this so i decided to start here. Anyways, my Dom and i played last Thursday and i'm pretty sure i overstepped the boundary when i told him that if we would have known my job situation that we could have played longer. To which he replied that he only comes down here to play (he finally has work to do). Yes i was stunned a little bit about it but was able to shake it off. But now it seems that he's either hiding something or that there's something else going on, and i'm afraid that it has to do with me but not sure. i did im him last night like i was supposed to, and called him this morning when i got up like i was supposed to, but something doesn't seem right. i than decided to im him back to try to figure something out, so i'm just now waiting to see if and when he does reply. Yes this does hurt on the inside since we have always been open to each other until recently. Does anyone else have any experience with this and how did you manage to get over it? Any other suggestions would be greatly helpful.
  Thank you