RE: Black Doms

RE: Black Doms (Full Version)

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kc692 -> RE: Black Doms (4/3/2007 8:01:52 PM)
Hey, here is an idea, if everyone just ignores when the bigot talks, and it kills all the threads they respond to, maybe they will get the idea then? We always have a choice whether to respond or not, maybe if we stop they will stop. Disclaimer: This is not directed top any one person, it is a general suggestion for those that offend to others to help remind them to stop responding. This was not against any poster, black or white, specifically.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Black Doms (4/3/2007 8:04:03 PM)
grins..thats a great idea.....on another unrelated note: are the sort of toady troll one can lick to get high?[;)]

FukinTroll -> RE: Black Doms (4/3/2007 8:05:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress grins..thats a great idea.....on another unrelated note: are the sort of toady troll one can lick to get high?[;)] Yep! And on a related note: Slurp!

kc692 -> RE: Black Doms (4/3/2007 8:14:21 PM)
wonders where that slurp landed and if it got tigress highrflmao

azzmaster -> RE: Black Doms (4/3/2007 8:30:23 PM)
I am so glad i am from NYC. I am sure i would have been lynched by now if i had lived in the south, LOL[:)][:)][:)]

kc692 -> RE: Black Doms (4/3/2007 9:16:02 PM)
*hmm, almost doesnt answer, but decides to vocally ignore this one time to make her point*

MinofSin -> RE: Black Doms (4/3/2007 9:26:28 PM)
I haven't read all of the replies to this topic, but I just had to chime in. As you can see by my avatar, I'm black and I'm a Dom. All of my submissives or slaves have been white or hispanic (just worked out that way). I have never had a problem, although, I have generally met all of my partners through non-BDSM sites. I have, however, run into many who only want a black dom, and for me that is problematic, because they are looking at my color first, not who I am as a person, so I tend to stay away from those types. So it hasn't been an issue for me in the time I have been in the lifestyle.

BBBTBW -> RE: Black Doms (4/3/2007 9:39:37 PM)
After blocking 2 people on this thread, I post this to no one in particular, just keeping in line with some of the previous comments. I personally am not looking for a slave of a particular race. Although most of the slaves that contact me are white and they are seeking a Black DOMINANT. Most of them are after the stereotype but some of them are genuine in their attraction to black women. I don't have a problem with males that are attracted to me initially because I am black. If that is all they are attracted to, it will wan quickly. If they are attracted to me initially only because I am black but the attraction continues or grows after we have gotten to know each other then I have made not only a new friend but possibly a significant other. As far as Black Male DOMINANTS mostly seeking sex....I say talk to most white male subs/slaves...its the same thing....seeking something that may or may not exist for them. I don't know about black male subs/slaves or white male DOMINANTS as I don't seek them out..

crouchingtigress -> RE: Black Doms (4/3/2007 9:48:33 PM)
quote: wonders where that slurp landed and if it got tigress highrflmao yep!...happily slimed on the other side....troll is an good friend from way back...but there is always plenty of slurping to go around....grin.

MsParados -> RE: Black Doms (4/3/2007 10:02:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GeekyGirl I do not date african american men for 4 reasons. 1)Although I am a mostly UNprejuidiced person, I have loved ones who would be uncomfortable with me being in an interracial relationship and I choose to respect their wishes. 2)I have not met many african american men whom I found attractive (I just have a thing for very fair skinned guys w/ blue eyes...) 3)Most african american men who are looking for a white woman seem VERY hung up on race and seem to "get off" on dominating a white woman. I don't want a man being with me just cause he has a fetish for women who look like me. I want him to be ask me out cause he likes Geeky Girl , not cause he likes blonde-headed white girls. This actually goes for any of my physical attributes. It's similiar to how I don't want to date guys who have a major fetish for blondes, for big boobs, or for chunky girls. I am all those things, but I wanted him to like me as a person, not as a fetish. 4)I have several african american friends, and being around them has taught me that they do have a very different culture and they often have a very different upbringing than mine (they tend to have different social values, religious values, etc.) So far, I have yet to meet a man of the african american race whom I had a lot in common with. That's not to say they aren't there..I just haven't met them yet. If I met one I had a lot in common with, I might change my mind. On a side note, I do have some negative associations with african american men. I work in a jail and deal with inmates of all races. Every inmate who has ever throw semen on me or jerked off while looking at me was african american. I have NEVER had a white, hispanic, or asian man do this to me. Never, in 4yrs. Every one of them has been african american. Does that mean anything? I don't know, but it has left me with a knee jerk reaction towards "men of color". It makes me wonder if there is something in the cultural upbringing which doesn't stress sexual respect towards women. GeekyGirl, in my experience those differences you noticed are not drawn soley on race there is another factor to keep in mind. A majority of those men that act that way, I am willing to bet come from an "urban" setting. There can be a very large difference in values as well as education between urbanites and the surrounding areas. When I look at the issues you described, it screams statistical date - generational welfare, lack of positive male role models, addicted parents, poor public school systems, higher crime and a general lack of hope-they don't know any better, so how can they even try to be better. The hispanic culture, mostly male dominated, places woman in the position of having to be looked after, we are the "weaker" sex after all. While in general the Asian cultures have a big foundation in over all respect and integrity. Most urban americans (used in this context) don't know what true respect is, for them it is tied to some inflated sense of ego and posturing. Not all urbanites are loitering outside the bodega, talking about their new "kicks" and flashing some "bling", it just so happens that most of those that do are also the ones that find themselves under your supervision. There is also a fetish based on racial or ethnic characteristics, the woman that just wants to be used and abused by a "Black Stud" or the man that wants to humiliate and defile the "pure" white woman.

Vendaval -> RE: Black Doms (4/4/2007 1:29:00 AM)
Fast Reply - There are separate groups in the San Francisco Bay Area for BD/DS/SM people of color, I think one is called, "Mahogany". Also, check out the Bay Area Women of Color Photo Project - http://www.bayareawoc.com/

littleonyx -> RE: Black Doms (4/4/2007 5:02:39 AM)
Greetings, Mistress Vendaval... Some people have asked me about joining such groups for people of color--and only such groups. And usually, my response is "Why?" It's not that I don't want to meet others of color like myself that live this way of life, and I may even join it for the networking and enjoy it. But I won't eliminate places like CM. Now, as far as "Mahogany" goes, the only thing I know about it is that I have written a piece bearing the same title. [:)] Reluctantly heading off to work, little onyx

GeekyGirl -> RE: Black Doms (4/4/2007 6:25:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsParados GeekyGirl, in my experience those differences you noticed are not drawn soley on race there is another factor to keep in mind. A majority of those men that act that way, I am willing to bet come from an "urban" setting. There can be a very large difference in values as well as education between urbanites and the surrounding areas. When I look at the issues you described, it screams statistical date - generational welfare, lack of positive male role models, addicted parents, poor public school systems, higher crime and a general lack of hope-they don't know any better, so how can they even try to be better. The hispanic culture, mostly male dominated, places woman in the position of having to be looked after, we are the "weaker" sex after all. While in general the Asian cultures have a big foundation in over all respect and integrity. Most urban americans (used in this context) don't know what true respect is, for them it is tied to some inflated sense of ego and posturing. Not all urbanites are loitering outside the bodega, talking about their new "kicks" and flashing some "bling", it just so happens that most of those that do are also the ones that find themselves under your supervision. There is also a fetish based on racial or ethnic characteristics, the woman that just wants to be used and abused by a "Black Stud" or the man that wants to humiliate and defile the "pure" white woman. I'm sure there is a lot of truth to what you say....I work in an urban area and most of the inmates are urbanites. I, in no way, believe that black people are inferior to white people. I do believe that in my area blacks often do not have access to the same opportunities that whites have, and therefore due to circumstances beyond their control, they are almost forced to "grow into" the stereotype, if that makes sense. I find this a very tragic thing, however it does not change the fact that I have not met many black men who impressed me as a potential dating partner. I am wondering how much regional culture plays a part in these discussions. Most people know that racism is very prominent in the south. I actually found it very offensive that some people on here accused me of being a racist because I said I don't date black men. It makes me wonder if those people flinging accusations have any idea what real racism is, if they've ever seen it first hand. Where I live, I have been exposed to REAL racism, of the "hang 'em from a tree" variety and I can tell you that it makes me sick to my stomach when I hear that crap. Having had close black friends, it absolutely infuriates me when people act as though blacks shouldn't be treated equally or shouldn't have rights. It makes me extremely offended to be called a racist because to me that is having me lumped in the same category as KKK members and people who use the N word. I generally do not let people online affect my emotions, but this one touched a nerve in a major way. It's been a long long time since someone offended me this much. I did not realize that not dating outside your race made you a racist. I completely support other people who have interracial relationships. For me personally, I know that I would not be willing to stand up against the backlash from my family and community. I'm sorry, but my parents opinions are important to me. My dad has many black friends, yet he has told me many times when I was younger "please don't bring a black man home, I just couldn't approve." My grandfather is the same way. Any time I say I'm dating a new guy, his FIRST question is "He is a WHITE boy, right?" If I met a black man that I had a lot in common with and who treated me with respect, I would be very tempted to go out with him, but would probably decline for the sake of keeping peace in the family. I also just don't want to deal with the societal stigma. I live in an area where people will slash your tires, grafitti your house, poison your dog, etc if you are a white woman dating a black man. Sorry, but there's lots of fish in the sea and I'd just rather not put myself through that. What I find really interesting is that many of the black people here are just as against interracial dating as the white ones are. They will disown family members for dating a white person. This leads me to believe that the culture here is still quite less "progressive" than northern culture. No one here would ever call you racist for not dating outside your race. It's just not part of our culture. There's still a strong sentiment here that "black and white is equal but different". I have found this to be true in that the majority of the black men I meet have VERY different values than I do. Most of them are christian, most do not approve of homosexuals or bisexuals, and most do not believe in abortion. Those are all huge issues to me, and if not dating a person with different values than my own makes me a racist, then so be it. However, I have several friends who would disagree and tell you that I'm the first person to stand up when I feel a person's rights are being stepped on for reasons of race, religion, or sexual orientation. I'm a "Defender" of minorities of every kind, mostly because I myself have been mistreated over certain things and I like to support those whom others would put down.

Olias -> RE: Black Doms (4/4/2007 6:38:11 AM)
As a sub male it would be a dream come true for me to serve a black (african) lady, I guess it's the fantasy of many men but I'm not sure exactly why......I'll think about that one.

SilkLaceNPearls -> RE: Black Doms (4/4/2007 7:30:53 AM)
Although I do not specifically seek out black dominants, having grown up in a largely black community, I find myself better in tune with blacks. Anyone who knows Virginia, knows that King and Queen County, Richmond County and Essex County (home of Chris Brown…Go CHRIS!) are predominantly black, especially King and Queen County. When I attended school there for my 8th and 9th grade years, there were only about 30 white students in the whole school. Richmond County and Essex County is more evenly distributed. Besides being immersed in a largely black community via school, my church was one of the 1st to be integrated so I have always known a mixed community via two of your biggest influences in life, school and church. Needless to say, I was raised in an environment where race was not an issue therefore I raised my children the same way. That is why it irks me today to see our country so full of hate for the melting pot of races we have here in America. But that is getting off topic. Another rant for another day. While I do not seek out black men they seem to gravitate to me. Most of the offers I get come from black men. The ones that are just looking to “own” a white woman, I don’t get to involved in conversations with but the ones that look beyond my race and see me as a person who has a lot to offer in terms of loyalty, obedience, servitude and submission, I thoroughly the conversations we have. One black dom, when I commented on how many offers I seem to get from black men told me that black men can tell when a white woman is receptive to their advances. I found that to interesting as I was not aware I was sending out any signals. While it is deplorable that in 2007, there is so much racism still in the world, I do find the challenge of an interracial relationship very stimulating. I find it intoxicating to take two people who come from different walks of life, enmesh their souls and personalities, closing out the outside world the best you can by focusing on the relationship and making it work. One of the most powerful images I ever saw on CM was a pic of a white sub with her hand overtop her black daddy’s hand. It was so invigorating and so profound not because of the races involved but because they found each other and it is working for them. Does race, height, weight, culture really matter if it WORKS for all involved? While I understand that certain things attracts others to us, like whether or not you have a big bottom or a large chest, as I leans towards men who are tall since I am so tall, as long as you look beyond those physical things to find the real person then all is well. Now having said I lean towards tall men, the man who stole my heart and held for over 20 years was a Puerto Rican who was 3 inches shorter than I am so although I prefer tall men, height is not all that either. For years I went around looking for PRs to date only before I realize it was not the ethnicity I was wanting but rather Luis himself. After coming to that conclusion, I found myself open to all races, ages and sizes. Now I am truly liberated in my values and viewpoints. And it is very intoxicating. Have a great day one and all.

GeekyGirl -> RE: Black Doms (4/4/2007 7:52:26 AM)
quote: I find it intoxicating to take two people who come from different walks of life, enmesh their souls and personalities, closing out the outside world the best you can by focusing on the relationship and making it work This is a very profound quote and I think it's at the heart of the matter....You find it intoxicating to come together despite differences. That's a wonderful thing and I'm glad there are people like that in the world making it a better place. However, I think some people inherently prefer those whom they have a VERY large amount of things in common with and do not enjoy the struggle to "meet in the middle." I have heard over and over again that opposites attract, but for me that has never been so. I think that perhaps for me my reluctance to date a black man is not about racism but more about a desire to be involved with people whom I am very, very similiar to.I have no desire to come together with a different person...I want someone is very, very much like me. I will admit that this is probably a negative trait. As I mentiond before, I do not date anyone who doesn't vote like I do, participate in a similiar religion, feel the same way about our nations social issues, enjoy the same hobbies I do etc. I just have a very very small box that I expect my dating partners to fit into and it JUST SO HAPPENS that I never seem to meet black guys who fit that role. That issue, along with the one I mentioned above, are the most predominant issues for me. Yes, I have had some negative experiences with black males that has sometimes provoked me to knee jerk reactions, but it hasn't made me racist. What has happened to me is that I have , in a manner of speaking, been sexually dominated against my will on numerous occasions by black males and therefore I think any desire I might have had to be dominanted by one consensually has long since flown the coop. To a certain extent, I feel I have been figuratively and visually raped over and over again on a nightly basis by black men...is it any wonder I don't run out to look for a black dating partner? I think it's almost like a touch of Post traumatic stress syndrome. I interact very well with my fellow male black officers. I also interact very well with female black people in general. However, I will admit that when I'm out in public and I see a black man walking towards me, I often go out of my way not to pass too close. I think it's just that having had a lot of bad things happen to me involving black men, I have developed a sort of pavlovian reaction.

Lady Alaria -> RE: Black Doms (4/4/2007 8:14:36 AM)
Will toss in my agreement that race isn't a big concern. If we click, it's a non-issue. I do find myself more likely to deeply click with someone of a similar cultural upbringing to me though. More for communication purposes than anything else. I'm all about the communication. But if a black(or asian, or latin, or martian or whatever)man was really capable of bridging that gap, or we just had a magic soul meeting, I don't think race would remain much of an issue. Not sure how I'd feel about calling a black man a 'slave' though(I'm a switch). Might just stick with submissive, or pet, in the case of a sub. All that aside, I think a well-toned black man can be really, really hot.

BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Black Doms (4/4/2007 8:14:37 AM)
AS I have said its not the colar of the skin but how well they wear their kollar..I have owned black subs/slaves but at this time we have white females.ITS nothing personal just our preference due to our lifestyle in the bible belt..A beatiful cream colored female slave could always change my mind...as always just the views of this ol" master...bounty

BBBTBW -> RE: Black Doms (4/4/2007 9:01:51 AM)
Geeky Girl, It's not that you said you won't date black men. It's the reason why you won't date them. You stated you don't want to rock the boat with your family (Are you not grown enough to make your own decisions?) The inmates(wtf this has to do with the respectable black people is beyond me) at the prison where you are employed treat you disrespectfully. You also implied that it is a cultural thing that you were treated in such a manner. (WHAT?) These three things are offensive. It's not what you do, it's the way you do it. If you don't want to be tagged something, don't put yourself out there to garner that tag. I am sure you pride yourself in "telling it like it is." or "how you see it" That's fine. But if you don't want to suffer the reprocussions of what you say, don't say it. If you do choose to say it. Choose your words wisely. You can state something with a flair of eloquence that will make people pause and think about your stance or you can just spew it out and get what you got. Agreed it doesnt matter what one does, someone is going to be offended by it. However, don't get your feeling hurt or your mood on edge because someone doesn't like what you said. Learn how to effectively communicate with the masses and you won't have to go chasing your tail.

Vendaval -> RE: Black Doms (4/4/2007 11:47:27 AM)
Hello little onyx, From what I understand, many persons of color in the Lifestyle have encountered problems with less enlightened people, and wanted to feel comfortable in a separate group. I do not know how many people of color stay in separate BD/DS/SM groups and how many mingle in any other groups. This same issue of being separate or inclusive occurs with the Gay, Lesbian and Trans-Gendered communities in BD/DS/SM.

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