I'm Just Sayin' (Full Version)

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BlkTallFullfig -> I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 12:29:38 AM)

I would like to have the luxury of permitting myself to fall apart...  Just disintegrate.   I'm not allowed though, because I am a mother, a daughter, a sister, an advice giver, a strong shoulder, a provider, a prefessional, a reason bearer, a peace maker, etc., and besides that, there is no one around me who knows me well enough to put me back together you see.
 
One of my brothers, the one who is my best friend, which isn't to say that I wish it were any other of mine or anyone else's, has passed away.   I hurt so much that I wish I didn't know it to be the ultimate selfish act to go to sleep and never wake up again.  To feel this kind of pain, now for the second time in my life, the first being when I lost my father, seems more than any person should have to endure.

Having said that, I ask that those of you who are my friends, please not write to me or call me about this particular subject for the next 1-3months, because it will only hurt more to speak to anyone outside of immediate family at this point.   A call would make me feel worse/more vulnerable, which is a most disconcerting feeling for me.
Thanks for reading my venting...........       M



GoddessDustyGold -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 12:35:25 AM)

I'm here when you're ready, Sweetie. 
Kisses and Hugs...



Vendaval -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 12:38:22 AM)

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.



FukinTroll -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 12:45:30 AM)

Here is some troll love babe. [sm=flowers.gif]



Passion357 -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 12:50:32 AM)

Will be praying for you and yours [sm=smile.gif]



Rule -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 12:57:26 AM)

Noted. You need to grieve, though. It is required.



lilsubl -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 1:03:00 AM)

grieve in your own time, in your own way.........



ToGiveDivine -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 7:35:43 AM)

Nothing but love here for you - you are in our prayers



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 7:39:10 AM)

That's what therapists are for- your own private paid person who has to sit around and be ok with you falling apart.



Mercnbeth -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 7:43:49 AM)

our thoughts and prayers are with you.[:)]



OhBeMyMind -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 7:51:01 AM)

Just so you know you are not alone, 3 years ago I lost my best friend....my mother.   Amazingly though in the last 4 months I have lost 3 family members, my grandfather in November, my step-sister in January, and just attended my grandmothers funeral this past weekend.
Talk about wanting to disintegrate...I understand....I guess after I lost my mother, regardless of how completely unfair that was, I fully realized what 'life goes on' really means.  I have little rituals I do every day in remembrance and to celebrate those I have lost.  It seems to help me.
Anyway, not sure if you will read this but for me passing on my experiences is a small step in my healing journey.
My condolences to you and your family.



juliaoceania -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 8:18:19 AM)

You will be in my thoughts and you have my heartfelt condolences. Please remember to take care of yourself at this time because without you, all those other people you mentioned will be on their own. It really is not selfish to grieve, because in the long run it is the thing that will lead to gaining your own equilibrium back ( I know from experience that grief delayed can be debilitating)... those who love you will just gain the opportunity to become the pillars of strength that you are when they comfort you.

Both Sinergy and I send our condolences at this time.

Sinergy and julia



Devilslilsister -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 9:29:50 AM)

hugs

We're here if you need us



ownedgirlie -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 9:34:34 AM)

My thoughts are with you.  I am all too familiar with grief and understand your words. My best to you as you go through the painful process.



kc692 -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 9:36:39 PM)

When you are ready, I am here........kisses and hugs and prayers going your way.



RosaB -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 10:07:24 PM)

You have my deep sympathies and are in my thoughts.  I understand your pain, please do what you must to get through this difficult time.  I'm like you, I prefer to be alone and grieve in silence with my own thoughts till I'm comfortable enough to be in the company of others.  Some people need the alone time to grieve..  .

Hugs out to you sweet lady.

Rosa



mnottertail -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 10:12:36 PM)

Love you, M.  Go in grief and deal with it.

Ron



thompsonx -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 10:18:10 PM)

M.
You have all my deepest feelings for you in this your time of grief.
If there is anything I can say or do to be of help please do not hesitate to ask.
thompson



Real0ne -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 10:31:50 PM)

i know that words are pretty meaningless right now. 
Take care of yourself. 
You are in my thoughts.



caitlyn -> RE: I'm Just Sayin' (4/3/2007 10:48:27 PM)

We have it on the best authority ... the sun will always rise in the morning. [:D]



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