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hello - 4/15/2005 5:17:59 PM

jst4ujst4now

Posts: 4
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

hello.
i'm new to this site and feel i am privaledged to have the opportunity to introduce myself. As my profile will note to you, i am a 45 year old lesbian involved in a long term committed "vanilla" relationship. My partner is loving and respectful to me in all aspects of our relationship. So, you ask....why am i here?
My partner has been unable to fulfill this "dark side" of my desires. And she would never understand me going outside of our relationship. (And perhaps, i'll never truly be able to because of my concern and fear of hurting her) The BDSM world has always filled my mind and fortunately, when i was much younger, i had several experiences which sparked the fires deep inside me. As much as i am filled with guilt as i spend time on sites such as this, there is this deep yearning within my core that has never subsided.
i do wonder if there are Dommes out there who would ever be interested in someone like me:
For i am one who would always have the primary focus of ensuring that my partner doesn't ever get hurt, doesn't ever find out.....
But i am also one that would give my all during the brief, discreet time that i would be able to offer myself to you.
i do understand how crazy this sounds and realize that there is little hope to find someone who would be interested in such a "part time student".
So, now that you know i can ramble quite a bit, and realize that i do have constraints, i thank those of you who make sights like this available to people like me.
j

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Post #: 1

RE: hello - 4/16/2005 9:02:44 AM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

Hi J and welcome to the forums at CM!

Here on the forums we love to discuss all aspects of life and the lifestyle! So jump on in, the water is fine!

As far as your concerns go, you have to first decide if you can go outside your relationship without causing yourself harm. Some people cannot. And if they do it causes them emotional distress. Have you tried talking to your partner and see if a compromise can be worked out? You never know if things can be open rather than hidden. I know some couples where scene play is allowed without any sexual components. Or only public play or service. There are many types of things thay can be agreed to.

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to jst4ujst4now)

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