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Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 10:39:59 AM   
pwettyprincess


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline 		im new here and dont know if this has been done before sorry.

we always read and talk about the need for a subs safety when first meeting, during play etc but its very rare ive come across anywhere that discusses Dom/mes need to ensure they are safe too personally, in fact ive even had a pretty heated discussion with a couple of subs who thought that ridiculous.

personally i think they do and can be as much at risk as any sub.
surely im not the only one who thinks this?
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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 10:45:27 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		EVERYBODY needs to feel safe; no matter what kind of life they live.

For the love of God...WE ARE NOT SPECIAL

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(in reply to pwettyprincess)
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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 11:00:47 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		Those subs are very naive.

(in reply to pwettyprincess)
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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 11:02:27 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		No you aren't, but there is the stereotype that subs are the weak vulnerable ones and doms are the strong protector ones.


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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to pwettyprincess)
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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 11:04:18 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Yeah.  This is a thread that I should stay far, far away from.  So I'll make this brief.

I'm certain there are a lot of people who think 'safety first' for all concerned, in first or early meetings.

I'm not one of them.  For myself, I handle my affairs the way I see fit.  I'm still here to talk about it.

I could give examples, but you wouldn't believe me.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to pwettyprincess)
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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 11:06:17 AM   
SirDiscipliner69


Posts: 2607
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline 		Yes there are quite a few of wacko subbies that doms need to be aware of and keep their distance from.

Ross
©º°¨¨°º©

< Message edited by SirDiscipliner69 -- 4/4/2007 11:07:59 AM >

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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 11:28:40 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Like LA said it is a stereotype that often time is unintentionally followed. Dominant strong, smart and always in control therefore safe and a submissive is weak, vulnerable and not wise and does not have the ability to be safe on her own accord.

Safety of all types is important to all genders and roles period.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 11:33:17 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pwettyprincess

surely im not the only one who thinks this?



No, you're not. I've had military subs/slave. They could kill me given their training. I could have been overpowered by the 6'4" massive submissive (who's now a very good friend). I could have had any sub grab one of my knives...the scenarios go on and on.

Master Fire


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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 11:56:12 AM   
StellaByStarlite


Posts: 790
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

Yeah.  This is a thread that I should stay far, far away from.  So I'll make this brief.

I'm certain there are a lot of people who think 'safety first' for all concerned, in first or early meetings.

I'm not one of them.  For myself, I handle my affairs the way I see fit.  I'm still here to talk about it.

I could give examples, but you wouldn't believe me.

Jeff



Yes I would! Spill, spill!

;)
Stella

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 12:04:13 PM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist
For the love of God...WE ARE NOT SPECIAL

oh my shooooooot I've been living in a lie!

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 2:33:33 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		Safetly is not a huge preoccupation for me.  Pretty early on I'll determine if I feel physically safe, meaning is this guy an axe murderer.  Reality is there are very few axe murderers and I trust my abilty to size up people.  And this does go both ways.  Whether I am talking to a dom or a sub.  As to safety with implements?  I don't worry about that either. I'm a big girl.  I don't do bondage.  I can handle it. I can speak up.  I am always engaged.  Safety is just not high on my list of preocupations.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to pwettyprincess)
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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 2:36:50 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

oh my shooooooot I've been living in a lie!

well shucks, we all know that you are special...and that LA is special...and that the devilsister is special....

well fuck....guess that blows my argument don't it?

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 2:51:56 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		physical safety is not unique to subs...dommes/switches/vanillas....everyone needs to be safe in their relationships/meetings

(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 3:22:29 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		The question here goes right back to the same argument SSC brings about.
How safe is safe? Less risk than Combat? Less risk than driving rush hour in Atlanta on Friday when there is a game in town?
Less risk than my lily white butt walking down a dark ally in Compton wearing an expensive suit and a rolex?
Less risk than driving drunk?
Less Risk than playing with a Sadist of unknown skill level?

We all have our own idea of what is an acceptable risk for us. We in the end are all playing the odds and sooner or later those odds will catch us.

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 3:28:24 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		I will always bring someone with me to the first meeting and sometimes to the first few
sessions.


Diane

(in reply to pwettyprincess)
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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 3:48:51 PM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		I don't feel any less safe meeting someone from our 'lifestyle' than meeting anyone else.
I have managed to extract myself from a potential rape situation twice in my life and they were long term friends.
Of course we Dom/mes get it wrong sometimes.
That's the risk we all take.
I believe I have to take risks in life to find what I am seeking.
But the emotional risk is far more of concern  to me than the physical one.
I


(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 5:32:30 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		It is important for everyone to insure their safety.  That is why i will meet a person a few time in public before i invite them home.  That way he is sure i am not a psycho killer and i am sure he is not.

I have to add though you can never be 100% sure thoiugh unless yoi have know them for a while.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to lateralist1)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 5:41:29 PM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I have to add though you can never be 100% sure thoiugh unless yoi have know them for a while.



I don't think you can ever be 100% sure.  You often here stories about bad people and those who knew them often say, "He was always so nice, I never expected he would do this".  Basically, all any of us can do is be reasonably confident that we are safe and take whatever precautions we feel we must in order to have that feeling of safeness.

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/4/2007 5:43:33 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		The day I start worrying about my physical safety is the day I hang up my spurs.  I have met naked women in hotel rooms, I have met them at their house, I have met them AND their husbands in my house, I have given out my address, my phone number and whatever else.

For some, it is something to be concerned about and goody for them but for me, I am too busy enjoying myself and them to worry about it.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Dom/mes need safety too! - 4/5/2007 2:57:09 PM   
pwettyprincess


Posts: 9
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline 		sorry i wasnt very clear,i was talking about D/s meetings in particular not just safety regarding first meets as a whole.

and not just physical safety but all other aspects too, what happens (and unfortunately it has) if for example play goes wrong or its not what a sub expects and sub runs off screaming help!police!assualt!! etc etc
the Dom/me may have stuck to every pre-agreed limit and such but try explaining ropemarks and welts or worse to the local authoritys!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 20
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