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Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 12:29:37 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		I am meeting a potential Domme for the first time on Friday.  Just for coffee/walk around the park/conversation at this point.  From our conversations online, it seems we have a lot in common, and we share the same kind of humor.
Even so, I am a bit nervous.  I am new to this lifestyle, and have never actually met someone that I had "talked" with online.  So, out of curiousity, subs...remember meeting your first Dom/me, or a potential one?  Where you nervous?  How did it go?
Thanks!
Rose
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 12:42:41 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Just like a first date in the real world. Same rules apply. Some are magical, some are awful and anywhere in between. It would be abnormal of you not to be nervous or her as well.

As far as this life specific, the more live time you have the better both of you will be able to get a good impression that words used before meeting are true words. Often meeting face to face is when I found stories get changed and beliefs were altered but I am not suggesting that happen most of the time.

I will say this though, there is something magical when in the physical presence of someone and feeling or thinking that you may be able to be submissive to this person that transference between an intellectual exercise to an emotional one.

I wish you the best of luck. Hope it works out well.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
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RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 12:45:54 PM   
Siona


Posts: 242
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline 		Yes, I remember very well.
I was extremely nervous.
We met at a beautiful public place that has flower gardens, fine dining restaruant, with a river running along side of it.
It was so romantic.
The food was good, the view was fantastic,looking out over the water, the conversation flowed nicely, most of all..the company was superb!

It's one day I won't ever forget.

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
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RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 12:48:27 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_576521/mpage_1/key_first/tm.htm#576524
First time Party

http://www.collarchat.com/m_323269/mpage_1/key_first/tm.htm#323597
First Lifestyle Meeting

http://www.collarchat.com/m_311113/mpage_1/key_first%252Cparty/tm.htm#311125
Your First Experience

http://www.collarchat.com/m_291346/mpage_1/key_first%252Ctime%252Cclub%252Cplay/tm.htm#291346
1st Time at the Wet Spot

http://www.collarchat.com/m_195507/mpage_1/key_first%252Ctime%252Cclub%252Cplay/tm.htm#195507
Behaviors and Reactions During Play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_78610/mpage_1/key_first%252Ctime%252Cclub%252Cplay/tm.htm#78610
Question about First Time Scenes

http://www.collarchat.com/m_249091/mpage_1/key_first%252Cscene/tm.htm#249091
My first real scene!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_221923/mpage_1/key_first%252Cscene/tm.htm#221923
First Play party

http://www.collarchat.com/m_202913/mpage_1/key_first%252Cscene/tm.htm#202913
Novice Reactions

http://www.collarchat.com/m_95381/mpage_1/key_first%252Cscene/tm.htm#95381
"playing" on the first meet?


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
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RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 12:48:43 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Siona

Yes, I remember very well.
I was extremely nervous.
We met at a beautiful public place that has flower gardens, fine dining restaruant, with a river running along side of it.
It was so romantic.
The food was good, the view was fantastic,looking out over the water, the conversation flowed nicely, most of all..the company was superb!

It's one day I won't ever forget.


Aww that sounds so sweet.  I hope mine is that positive.  Its very strange, as I am rarely nervous having a first date with someone who is vanilla.  But then, normally I meet them in a public place, not online. 

(in reply to Siona)
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RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 12:55:34 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		as always, LA, you astound me.  Thank you very much!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 1:09:16 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		Don't go into it with huge expectations. Just take it as meeting a friend, talking about the things you have in common. If things are going well then the conversation will turn to other things and what will happen next. I've met a couple of subs, men. Each came loaded, expecting we were going right to the hotel after coffee. Even though I had made it clear I was not looking for casual anything. Another sub expected me to carry the whole conversation myself, he put in no effort. That was the worst one. I couldn't wait to come up with any flimsy reason to leave early and never hear from him again. 

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 1:11:53 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Laura

Don't go into it with huge expectations. Just take it as meeting a friend, talking about the things you have in common. If things are going well then the conversation will turn to other things and what will happen next.

If we simply come out as friends, I think that will be a gain.  I am not looking for a life-time commitment or anything like that!
Thanks so much for your advice...although I should be able to keep up on a conversation, as I love to talk!

(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 1:49:21 PM   
curiouslyseeking


Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress

I am meeting a potential Domme for the first time on Friday.  Just for coffee/walk around the park/conversation at this point.  From our conversations online, it seems we have a lot in common, and we share the same kind of humor.
Even so, I am a bit nervous.  I am new to this lifestyle, and have never actually met someone that I had "talked" with online.  So, out of curiousity, subs...remember meeting your first Dom/me, or a potential one?  Where you nervous?  How did it go?
Thanks!
Rose


Greetings Rose,
 
During my years, I have had the fortune of meeting many from online face to face..it's actually a great experience..and should be viewed as an adventure, not a potential disaster.
 
If you have built your communication on honesty of who you are and what you are..and moving on to a meet, there is nothing to be nervous about...You both have accepted each other for what's been seen.
 
I can't ever really remember having a "case of the nerves", perhaps because I knew I was in control of the situation. 
 
A couple of things I would do is take a small, maybe even cute item that would relate to your past communications..or I would think of  a game I wanted to play in the first five minutes and let them know ahead of time.  So, we could build on the anticipation of the game or focus on the small item that was being given to them instead of  worried of impressions or that first silent stare...
 
Have a wonderful time,
curious 

_____________________________

"The ultimate freedom is the freedom to choose to have no choice"


(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
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RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 2:27:05 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		Yeah I do remember my first date.  Meeting anyone for the first time can be nerve-wracking for me.  But we met over lunch and I was immediately comfortable with him cause he asked about life and work.  And we just had a grand lovely conversation. Just life.  But with that undercurrent as I sat across from him.  At some point I noticed I was soaking wet.  That's how much a man's mind can flip my swtich.

Enjoy.


_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 2:35:06 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I travelled quite a distance to meet my Daddy for the first time. I was nervous for weeks...then the drive over there. The drive was the worst part, I could feel myself struggling to maintain a normal breathing rhythm. Then I had to call Him to get exact directions, and the butterflies were gone. I stepped out of the car and was completely Owned.
 
It's good to be a little nervous, though...it'll keep your gut humming for red flags.

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 2:39:20 PM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		I've never done it but I know I'd be shitting myself, I don't have probs hooking up with people I meet offline but meeting people from online sounds scary to me even though I'd go through with it I think it's much more difficult than just normally.

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 2:44:39 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		Well, I will definitely let ya'll know how it goes!  I am expecting it to be smooth and fun...heck what two girls DON'T like wandering around window shopping and talking?  I'm definitely excited!  Thank you all for all the advice and support!
Much hugs!
Rose

(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 2:44:42 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		I actually meet local people (no romantic interest) fairly often. More than nervousness, I have trouble recognizing people. I mean...do you really want to make that kind of mistake?

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 2:50:11 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

I actually meet local people (no romantic interest) fairly often. More than nervousness, I have trouble recognizing people. I mean...do you really want to make that kind of mistake?

OMG that would be so great.  "So you are into CBT?"  "What?!"  I can see it now!

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 2:55:03 PM   
spanklette


Posts: 882
Joined: 2/22/2005
Status: offline 		See what I mean?
 
I actually invited a local submissive for coffee, and didn't know that the place closed an hour before we were supposed to meet. I basically polled everyone who approached the closed coffee shop..."Are you K***?" Finally, we did meet and go out for dinner, but geez!

_____________________________

~spanklette~

"The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. " Charles du Bois

"Please don't shout, can't you see I'm not listening." Billie Myers

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 3:13:30 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spanklette

See what I mean?
 
I actually invited a local submissive for coffee, and didn't know that the place closed an hour before we were supposed to meet. I basically polled everyone who approached the closed coffee shop..."Are you K***?" Finally, we did meet and go out for dinner, but geez!

Note to self....plan on meeting in front of very specific landmark and describe clothes that will be worn....Haha, thanks for sharing your story, spanklette

(in reply to spanklette)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 3:16:28 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Rose

You'll do just fine, don't even worry about it. Just go and have fun.


Diane

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 3:31:27 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		when meeting a dom/domme for the first time, i always remember first and foremost, i'm meeting a human whether that be man/woman, so no, nervous doesn't apply to me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress

I am meeting a potential Domme for the first time on Friday.  Just for coffee/walk around the park/conversation at this point.  From our conversations online, it seems we have a lot in common, and we share the same kind of humor.
Even so, I am a bit nervous.  I am new to this lifestyle, and have never actually met someone that I had "talked" with online.  So, out of curiousity, subs...remember meeting your first Dom/me, or a potential one?  Where you nervous?  How did it go?
Thanks!
Rose


(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Being Nervous Upon Meeting a Dominant - 4/4/2007 3:45:32 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress

I am meeting a potential Domme for the first time on Friday.  Just for coffee/walk around the park/conversation at this point.  From our conversations online, it seems we have a lot in common, and we share the same kind of humor.
Even so, I am a bit nervous.  I am new to this lifestyle, and have never actually met someone that I had "talked" with online.  So, out of curiousity, subs...remember meeting your first Dom/me, or a potential one?  Where you nervous?  How did it go?
Thanks!
Rose


Yes I was very nervous, but it went well. I met my first dominant online and we spoke for about 3 months before we met in person, I was already quite taken with him and feeling very much submissive to him when the meeting in real life took place.  And although we had spoken for quite a while before we met, I was extremely nervous.  It wouldn't have mattered how long we spoke, I still would've felt a level of intimidation at the first meeting.  I think its the nature of the dynamic and I think it's natural for you to feel this way because of the potential relationship being one of  d and s.  I wouldnt worry much about it, I have found that alot of dominant types (male or female) enjoy seeing that in the submissive.

Enjoy the excitement and anticipation.

Good luck to you, Rose.   

:)


_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 20
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