RE: safe words when does stop mean more?

RE: safe words when does stop mean more? (Full Version)

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FukinTroll -> RE: safe words when does stop mean more? (4/6/2007 7:14:27 PM)
~Quicky~ After a great deal of thought and reflection I have but one question to ask; Why didn't she just say pineapple?

wfsubseeking1 -> RE: safe words when does stop mean more? (4/6/2007 7:41:10 PM)
Knight Sir maybe it is more about the overall question of using safewords and whether a Dom or Master respects the use of it. i used it with one Dom and i was pushed far beyond my limits so i may have a different perspective than others as He didn't stop. seeking

stella40 -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/6/2007 8:02:58 PM)
I saw something similar during a scene in Warsaw. My friend, a female sub was being caned by a Master and she safe worded. He gave her two more hard strokes. What did she do? She leapt up, grabbed the cane and whacked him as hard as she could on his thigh. Then she kicked him out the flat. (It was her flat). The look on his face was a picture.

zindyslave -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/6/2007 11:19:08 PM)
Too bad I missed the thread with the link to the movie would have made an interesting viewing I do beleive.

goodandplenty -> RE: safe words when does stop mean more? (4/8/2007 4:24:51 PM)
Hello I am the running dog who started this, Seems people have been so eager with their sharp knives, I in not responding back in a timely manner. My original question of finding the edge was undressed for the most part. If people wish to see the video which I was doing the videoing of, part of my distraction please write, me give a yahoo IM I came send it to, way to many megs for here or email. Second this all occurred in a few seconds. Third, I know I make mistakes and I thought my saying I address the question with her showed I was checking my subs state of mind, would of surely repented if she had be misused. Forth My mentor started life as a sub and is well acquainted with the receiving end of a cane. She did not say red as was pointed out she said stop he did ask? "we need to stop"? said three more if fact did push her limits at the same time pushed them for her. She being the brave trooper she is as always went the extra three strokes rather the extra mile! So what ever people think of my profile is their issue not mine, I am pressing forward in my efforts to be the best I can, so am now learning and exploring public play. Those who have experienced the stress of being erect and at attention in public may give me some grace. I thank those who did answer my questions as the say fit. To those who rightly defender the sanctity of save words I do respect and honor them, take all responsibility for my subs safety and happiness. .

soultoshare -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/8/2007 8:22:52 PM)
A safe word is just that......if she used Red, play should have stopped then, not 3 strokes later. I know that after any type of session i've ever been involved in, my mind and body are about a million miles apart, and to try to talk to me then is useless. And i have to wonder about the aftercare in the car thing......wouldn't work for me at all! I, like mstrjx, feel that you were allowing your mentor to play as repayment for what you see was a service rendered on his part....bullshit! The few mentors that i have talked with have indicated that they mentor another to teach, not rack up future play partners. I'm sorry, but if I ever safeword, and my Master didn't immediately stop whatever was going on, i'd be outta there, plain and simple. The trust that i have for my Master includes knowing that no matter what the circumstances are, he would protect me from harm from anyone. If you can't keep your wits about you while you are involved in a scene as you were, then you need to step back and only observe. Without sounding dramatic, subs put themselves in positions that require a great deal of trust in a Master's ability to protect them as promised, and based on your post, you violated your sub's trust in the worst way. Consider yourself extremely fortunate if your sub doesn't leave you, or ever decides to play with anyone you choose again, cuz i know i wouldn't. WOW......i think the Bitch got loose again!

damia -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/8/2007 9:08:36 PM)
i agree with all those who have said that He should have stopped immediately. If she wanted more, she would not have used the safeword. This Dom who took the three strokes is not trustworthy, and You should have a very serious talk with Him about it, man to man. You should also give Your submissive time to think about this and react. Watch for signs of sub-drop. Several things in Your message make me very concerned, as a slave. These may have been brought up already, but i want to note them in my opinion. 1) she was a) tied down, b) hooked up to a fuck machine, c) being fucked in the mouth by You, d) being caned, and on top of that, You were distracted fucking her mouth. What if she had a medical emergency? Would You be able to pull Yourself away, tell the other Dom to stop, untie her, and turn the fuck machine off if there were an emergency, and every second counted? What if the machine had broken, and sent electricity through her, or tore at her skin, or any number of things machines can do? When she safe-worded, did You immediately stop all parts of the scene? It may not have been the caning that she was safe-wording for.. 2) You say she does not speak in sub-space, so she couldn't have been in sub-space when she safe-worded. But maybe it was -because- she was not in sub-space that she safe-worded. That is a lot of intense things happening all at once, and can be hard to take, and if all at once, can keep one out of sub-space just because it is too intense. 3) If You had something else You owned...say some delicious candies that You love very much but are hard to find and so You savour them...if another came along and took a few (and You supposed You allowed it as a sign of respect to that person), but then they came to the last three candies, and You told them to leave them, that You didn't want them to take everything there was, and they took the last three...would You be all right with it? So, why would You be all right with someone taking the last three strokes of a cane after your sub (and thus You, as You have told her she can safeword) said 'No, leave that. You've taken too many'? And i agree that edgeplay has nothing to do with this situation. i beg pardons if i have offended, and hope all will remember that this is only my single opinion. ~jewel

saris -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/8/2007 9:58:05 PM)
A thread like this makes a slave in a good collar appreciate that collar all the more, this one is so pleased it has never had to deal with such issues with its collar, and Owner. it's only been Owned for 10 years, and no such incidents. To the other slaves who endure this and think happiness is impossible: please believe this one when it says; a slave's bliss is possible, can be found, and endure much time; but that happiness resides in that all important choice of an Owner with whom the slave is most compatible. If any slaves here are in the same position of the woman spoken of in this thread and are considering leaving their collars, but have concerns how this reflects on their slavery, as a slave who was once collared to an abusive person, this one knows that leaving these situations is hard, but the result is fully worth that effort. slave would also be willing to speak with those in such positions should some form of support and slave to slave guidance be sought. This slave would like to take a moment though and thank Goddess for all She has provided this one, including security, undisturbed trust, and the support and protection it needed.

Sekhemet -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/8/2007 10:01:30 PM)
Saddest part is you claim to look UP to this moron - SICK part is NO ONE at the party had ANYTHING to say to him about this??? How unusual - how blind - how disconcerting. WHERE is this "group" you speak of? I'd rather avoid the area if at all possible. BUT - you say you are a top with 4 years experience ... MY question is ... Have you EVER bottomed? Because if you have you would KNOW how hard it is to "safe out." Some bottoms will do what is known as "Zoning out" - on the edge of this realm, sensation becomes nonexistant, and speaking is extrordinarilly hard to manage - This is why YOU need to be ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTY PRECENT FOCUSED, 100% on THEM and 40% on YOU (you were 100% focused on yer dick and 40% focused on yer slave - You should NOT be an owner, by anyone's terms) ... If you have never bottomed to learn what the other side of this is about, yer no top; yer still a player. PUT YER MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS, have some confidence in someone to show you this; or stop playing at being in control - You've proven you HAVE no control, yer a slave to your penis. Did your "mentor" ever put you under an implement, or did you just skip out on this facet of your training? And if you skipped it - what was the point in HAVING a mentor, what he gave you you could get out of books - What did he preach, what did he teach, what did he sensation wise show/teach you? If it's a issue of hot air - he was no mentor, he was a Leather friend, that's it. Mentors teach - they don't preach. Teaching means hands on lessons, not words. IF she speaks to this, it is an "insult to you" as there is NOTHING good to say about the "event" - If she remains silent it will encourage your abuse - NO DOUBT she was NOT happy about those 3 additional strokes however she MAY have been fully UNABLE to speak at the time in question and too far STILL in subspace when you so stupidly asked the dumbest question of the millenia. You've brilliantly put her in a catch 22 and are hoping to blame someone else for it ... not going to happen. If YOU are the Owner and thus the one in control - its YER problem bucko. THIS IS WHY MEN ARE NOT DOMINANTS They get WAY too distracted with their dicks - and once the cock is in play they loose all semblance of sanity. Problem is .. guys don't know HOW to do this and keep their peckers in their pants. What you did was not a scene, it was a public display of male stupidity inflicted on a partially willing subject and an insult to the term dominant. Your mentor should be stripped on the spot, everyone AT the party should have either got involved or IMMEDIATELY LEFT - your bottom should run for her life and you should be SERIOUSLY looking at what you're doing. Apalling what some peole call "domination" - this was outright abuse, of your position, of a woman, and of trusts. You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself, and questioning what you are doing here. And at the very least appologizing to the lady; never allowing this moron to play with YOUR slaves again; having it OUT with this jerk, stop being his "buddy" or attending his functions ... AND finding yourself some help. * My thanks to My slave of 10 years ... For bringing this thread to My attention and; Once again proving slave mindsets and male "dominants," (peckers and DS) are a potentially deadly combination. XxoxX PS - please see the website linked in the signature for the "finding some help" portion of your problem. I'm SURE you will glean some insight out of those pages and texts.

Sinergy -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/8/2007 10:18:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mbes Someone who took three more strokes after I safe-worded would be someone I wouldn't trust to play with again. That could just be me, though. Works for me. Safe words are a tool. If you are building a house, but you refuse to use your hammer, does this mean you are a more skilled carpenter? Sinergy

PoeticMotion -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/8/2007 10:22:44 PM)
Wow. Just wow. I've been interested in this lifestyle since I was 14, just became active in the last few months, have been in a lifestyle situation for a total of less than two months, and even I am appalled. I only read the first tw pages o fthis, so I may be guilty of piling on or making points already made multiple times, but wow. Seriously. That is the first thing you learn. Safewords are there for a reason. If you've been doing this for thirty years and you don't know how to appropriately treat a safeword situation, thats like being a math professor and having issues with long division.

Sinergy -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/8/2007 10:30:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PoeticMotion Wow. Just wow. I've been interested in this lifestyle since I was 14, just became active in the last few months, have been in a lifestyle situation for a total of less than two months, and even I am appalled. I only read the first tw pages o fthis, so I may be guilty of piling on or making points already made multiple times, but wow. Seriously. That is the first thing you learn. Safewords are there for a reason. If you've been doing this for thirty years and you don't know how to appropriately treat a safeword situation, thats like being a math professor and having issues with long division. In their defense, PoeticMotion, many of them are people in relationships with those they know who indulge in edge play and enjoy it. Safe words for such people are not appropriate, but both parties know they are not appropriate. The two submissives who safe-worded on me (and I immediately stopped the scene and went to aftercare) spent hours trying to convince me they didnt mean to safeword and yadda yadda yadda. I would suggest that you make sure you and the person you are playing with know what the meaning of a safe word is before you or the other person are helpless. Sinergy

KaineD -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/9/2007 3:41:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stella40 I saw something similar during a scene in Warsaw. My friend, a female sub was being caned by a Master and she safe worded. He gave her two more hard strokes. What did she do? She leapt up, grabbed the cane and whacked him as hard as she could on his thigh. Then she kicked him out the flat. (It was her flat). The look on his face was a picture. That's awesome. Though, I bet the idiot whined about how she's not a real sub. It's my experience from hearing peoples stories that bad doms resort to that.

KaineD -> RE: safe words whe does stop mea more? (4/9/2007 3:49:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sekhemet THIS IS WHY MEN ARE NOT DOMINANTS They get WAY too distracted with their dicks - and once the cock is in play they loose all semblance of sanity. Problem is .. guys don't know HOW to do this and keep their peckers in their pants. Hold on just a second. I personally find this very offensive. You can't just lump us all together because one guy made a mistake. We're not brainless morons ruled by our penises.

WhipTheHip -> RE: safe words when does stop mean more? (4/10/2007 12:29:07 PM)
As a top, I always respect safe words, and would fear the consequences of doing anything but check on my sub after a safe word was used. When I am a bottom, I don't care if my female top doesn't stop even when I use it providing good sense is used. In fact, I perfer she continue with three more lashes. Those three extra lashes are my gift to her, as up to that point everything was for both our enjoyment. I rather play with no safe words. I have never had a problem with anyone going to far with me. And no bottom has ever had a problem with my going too far with her. My bottoms always ask for a more intense next session.

lateralist1 -> RE: safe words when does stop mean more? (4/10/2007 2:34:11 PM)
Mistress Rouge. No one can tell what is going through another person's mind from their reactions. The only way you are going to know is if you ask them and they can tell you. Have you never heard of acting? People's motivations for doing certain things are not always clear even to themselves. For those of us who were abused as children we can be chasing the dragon just as much as any drug addict. Certain actions or ways of thinking can be instilled in people when they are young and gaining control over ones self even with a lot of help can be very very hard. It has taken me years to find a man interested in BDSM for it's own sake rather than being led by the nose by early training. Have you ever asked them or yourself why your subs do as they are told by you?

WhipTheHip -> RE: safe words when does stop mean more? (4/10/2007 4:21:35 PM)
> Have you EVER bottomed? Yes. > Because if you have you would KNOW how hard it is to "safe out." For some of us, it is not that hard. In fact, for some of us it is too easy. There is only one person whose opinion really matters here, and that is the sub that took the extra three lashes. The one who started this thread should ask her!!!! If she was okay with the extra three lashes, then I don't have a problem with the scene. If she was not okay with them, then I do. As a bottom, I don't think I'd ever complain if three lashes were given after I used a safe word.

lilsquaw -> RE: safe words when does stop mean more? (4/10/2007 5:05:31 PM)
just look at it this way, words are words, actions are louder. never scene with someone you dont know very, very well. dont let yourself be bond, same concept. and never let you own safety rely on a "word" Master does not allow a safeword for me, He does for others scening, and that is only with those that He has built His trust in. This trust issue can go both ways. Anyone, Master, Mistress, Switch, sub/sub whatever the scening is, safe, sane and consentual only comes after talk, talk talk. No offence is meant to A/any only care and concern for A/all. and no offence to any Mistresses, but i know many who can be extremely cruel and get extremely carries away with the domination they are exerting over others. Blessings to A/all

lilsquaw -> RE: safe words when does stop mean more? (4/10/2007 5:07:38 PM)
please excuse the typo's [:o]

zindyslave -> RE: safe words when does stop mean more? (4/10/2007 5:17:45 PM)
safewords are important I have one but have not used it in a long time. The fact that he came on here and said what he did is just stupidity in my eyes because of the fact that most of us beleive in respecting safewords. I think he was just looking for attention.

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