RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist?

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adanaydi -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/7/2007 2:12:05 PM)
a girl really couldn't say if there was something in her personality that would attract the Sadists... she doesn't know what one truly desires. <giggles softly> this one truly truly tries everything in her making to be pleasing, for a smile on her owner's face is her goal and reward for anything she would undertake to do for him. We all make mistakes, ada is no means perfect, and it breaks her heart when she hasn't done something just right, but she would rather he tell her about it and allow her to make it right if she can, then if her owner would feel the need to punish, that is his right to do so. Generally, this one is very detail orientated, and will get something done to the letter if possible. If not, she begs to be allowed another way to do it. For example, if Master wished a red orange for some reason, and the only oranges she could find were well, orange... she could inject food coloring in the orange to make it red, or beg to see if Master would be happy with the orange orange. Either way, it wasn't possible to find Master that naturally red orange. ada

CreativeOwner18 -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/7/2007 2:42:31 PM)
lemme ask a question to the poster. why are you not a maso? why dont you enjoy pain? its probably the same reason for why i am a sadist. i enjoy giving others pain, now i do respect limits but if your not into spanking and i am then it probably wouldnt work out. i wouldnt be a dick about it and say your not a true submissive. nor would i lie and say i wouldnt spank you then beat you the first chance i got. if its a fetish someone enjoys then its just what they like. i mean why does someone enjoy say pantyhoses? or enjoy blowjobs? or anal sex? its just what someone likes. doesnt mean anything is wrong with them. take for example i dont like breath play, some do, i dont. does that mean im wrong for not liking it? not at all. does it mean the other person is wrong for enjoying it? not at all. its all personal prefrence

aldompdx -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/7/2007 2:59:39 PM)
STAY TRUE TO YOUR FEELINGS AND PREFERENCES! You are 100% correct. Deeper surrender is within, of one's ego identity. It is not a contest of how much pain you can endure. All aspects already exist within ourself -- control, surrender, sadism, masochism. I assume that you refer to the BDSM roleplay of sadism, and not the real thing which is non-consensual. By sticking to your boundaries and limits, you successfully "weed out" the less creative and less aware "masters." That is, those who reflect their own inner pain by inflicting it upon another, without truly understanding how that inspires the light of fulfillment within their own heart. Everybody pursues fulfillment of spirit. Some rely on a shamanic approach by forcing transcendence into altered consciousness through pain. Others choose a consciously intentional process, whereby the state can be invoked simply through aware self will. Perhaps there is also a difference between first nation culture based on sharing, and second nation culture based on taking. This is a vast topic. Please request further clarification if desirerd. To clarify for the rest of you... I contend that the consensual BDSM roleplay of "sadistic" conduct is a psychological coping mechanism. "I am a sadist" is an illusory ego identity. Just my experience. Nothing intended personally toward anybody.

aldompdx -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/7/2007 3:05:33 PM)
delete post (cant find button)

Celeste43 -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/7/2007 5:05:45 PM)
We're not much into pain play. He's also not that strict, he just likes things being done his way. But in terms of play, he's more of a sensual dom. We both enjoy bondage and each other's enjoyment heightens it for us. As far as your last, it seems obvious he was doing abusive things to you to force you to leave because he was too much of a coward to say he had changed and couldn't lead anymore. That doesn't mean all sadists are passive aggressive or all doms will actually turn out to be wanting to explore their sub sides fully. Just means you picked someone who talked the talk but couldn't walk the walk.

adanaydi -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/7/2007 5:34:47 PM)
this one is not a masochist not because she isn't open to it, but because for some reason, the endorphins that supposedly are released during the pain process must not work right for her or something.... it hurts, it doesn't make her euphoric or put her into any sort of "sub-space". she's just wired differently she guesses. Nipple clamps have this one shrieking in short order, and hurt so badly, they can't stay for more than a second or two before she nearly faints. her troubles are, not many understand this, or wish to, and it really saddens this one when an otherwise very interesting Master tells a girl that pain is a regular part of his play routine. she can understand it, and searches on. <smiles softly> ada

wfsubseeking1 -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/7/2007 5:36:55 PM)
There are Masters of all types. i have met many that are not Sadists. Best wishes with your journey. seeking

N4SDChastity -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/7/2007 8:18:29 PM)
I "can be" sadistic. I believe we all "can be," at times. When I say I am "not" a sadist I am saying that I do not generally derive pleasure from other peoples' pain. Quite the opposite, in fact. Being moderately empathic, I tend to share, to some small degree, IN that pain. Having said that I think I'm about to contradict myself when I say that I have enjoyed delivering spankings, on occasion, when I felt it was warranted or wanted. But, if I felt it were truly damaging someone, physically OR emotionally, it would no longer be a source of joy, but, again, one of shared pain. The last time I did something along those lines that DID cause emotional pain was with my then 16-month-old daughter, some 20 years ago (it was a swat on her arm as she reached for something from the stove, before you guys go lighting into me for child abuse, OK?). The pain I caused hurt me to such a degree that I never raised my hand to her ever again, or to my son after he was born. If the person I'm spanking derives some sort of pleasure from it, even if only in some twisted way, then I enjoy it, too. Oddly enough, I do not have the same problem with nipple torture, for some reason...[8\|] THAT I DO enjoy doing, even if it hurts[8D]

eyesopened -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/9/2007 2:14:04 AM)
i also am not a masochist, i have never "flown" or felt an endorphin rush or anything other than pain when pain is applied. What i have learned is that my body and mind are not always in agreement and while mentally i think pain only hurts, my body says i'm aroused (weird). What i have learned is to not think about the pain itself but the energy behind it. A Man wishes to find an expression of power and it is my job to facilitate that expression. After all, it was His power that attracted me in the first place. When i look at physical expressions of dominance and submission in the animal kingdom i often see "humiliation" as the theme, so i see this as being a natural thing not designed to make me feel i am a lessor being but that i am willing to be helpless and He is in total control. The mental v physical paradox is what makes BDSM so fulfilling to me.

mons -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/9/2007 6:10:38 AM)
greeting ada wow i am deeply sorry that man (i would not call him a ,master ) he is a bully and a beast to beat you as he did. too lock you in a closet is my worse fear is the dark. your lucky he gave you away. the harm he has done will go away slowly but there are some great master out there i do hope you find one. (i am using period i do know what they are N) take care ada mons

SirDominic -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/9/2007 7:34:09 AM)
I know you do mons. Good to see you using it, it really makes your messages a lot easier to understand! ada, not everyone is into pain, Doms and subs. When you meet a Dom that interests you, and he seems promising, you need to make it plain in your negotiations that pain is a hard limit. If he cannot accept that, you must reluctantly move on. It is frustrating; finding the right one is the hardest part of this scene, I sometimes think. Namaste, Sir Dominic

WiseCracknSadist -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/9/2007 11:26:18 AM)
Uhm ....NO. Just because someone's a man does not mean that he wants to sleep with women. Some birds can't fly. There are even fish that can walk on land. What is that saying about books and covers?

amayos -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/9/2007 2:28:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adanaydi So, in reality, her question is twofold... why are most Masters also Sadists, and where are the ones who are not? There is sadism and then there is sadism. I think many forms of dominance touch upon some form of sadism in some way, even if it never manifests in physical language. It is my experience that dominance offered even in the most noble, loving spirit has something cruel in it, somewhere. But cruelty isn't bad, necessarily. It is in fact an inevitable and necessary force in nature. To shape, to mold—to influence or control takes the enforcement of will against something else, be it a hammer pounding steel or a mother's gentle discipline over a child. Little cruelties abound among creatures living in a Universe where violence is a key catylist. In this light, I see all humans as having relationships with sadism or masochism, be they knowing or unknowing of them. Many who would state with such surety they are neither sadists nor masochists don't look into the course of their lives thoroughly enough, I tend to think. Considering that, I would say every Master or Mistress who knowingly and openly embraces dominance is cruel in some way and partakes in the enjoyment of cruelty on some level, even if it's not outwardly obvious to the observer.

MsBearlee -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/9/2007 2:35:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adanaydi ...Why do nearly ALL the Masters she meets have to also have a strong Sadistic streak? ... ...So, in reality, her question is twofold... why are most Masters also Sadists, and where are the ones who are not?... I do not find this to be the truth...anymore than most Sadists are Masters... heh heh heh Actually, I find that most people do not enjoy marking up another person. I do; I like canes and whips and knives...but seldom get to play this hard because, while I like that kind of play personally...most the bottoms I play with do not. <sigh> Dang, whether giving or receiving...welts are so nice...IMHO; but I'm quite sure I'm in the minority. Beverly

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/9/2007 2:37:07 PM)
No Ross ©º°¨¨°º©

RPdom -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/9/2007 7:59:41 PM)
SirDominic It may be true that most Masters enjoy inflicting pain however a Master secure in who they are shouldn’t need to inflict pain to achieve submission. I personally get no satisfaction out of another persons suffering however I have no problem administering discipline if needed. I gain much more satisfaction by controlling without pain or intimidation’s. If inflicting pain is merely for your own satisfaction then that is fine, however generally it has little to do with getting a sub or slave to submit.

WhiplashSmile -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/10/2007 12:30:22 AM)
Master does not mean sadist, nor asshole, nor many other painful things. There are many Masters out there that have Mastered nothing more than how to abuse people. Keep on looking until you find the right master. I am simply amazed at how many Dom/Master types there are out on the board that are into this lifestyle to find somebody to truely abuse. Sure there is use and abuse during scene play, but many of these Sadistic Masters don't know when to stop. Doing scene play is like stepping into a Box, time to be sadistic and etc.. However, when the step out of the box. In 24/7 reality they keep the scene play going and going and going! They don't know the difference between scene play punishment, verse real time punishment. I can rant on and on about this. For one thing, do not Guage Masters/Doms by all the idiots you met here online. There is a great majority looking for BDSM phone sex or Hot chat, or fantasy email exchanges. Then there are those that are true Abusers and Stalker types. When it all comes down to it. There is a small percentage of what I call true Dom/Masters left. Still the majority of these have a sadistic streak. However, there are Masters that are simply looking for a Great Pleasure and Love Slave such as yourself. Keep looking and screening! You should consider actively searching through the profiles yourself and responding to ones that are looking for affection. If you sit there and just read the emails coming in your inBox, you will end up not finding what you are looking for. Seek and you shall find, search and you will find the Master you are looking for.

adanaydi -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/10/2007 7:30:24 AM)
this one wishes to thank all of you for such wonderful insights, and sharing those with this one... it truly helps to know that there are some out there who don't see pain as a be-all but more a tool. this one has searched the profiles, and sent out an email now and then herself. she has a tendancy to avoid those who state in their profiles that they enjoy giving pain or that they "live for" or "love" canes and crops and that sort of thing... ada doesn't see a Dominant a necessarily "cruel" in their dominance... Most Masters this one has found worth talking to have a wonderful wisdom about themselves, and are willing to share with others, to guide and help one along the way to be better than they were. a girl has been lucky enough to have had an owner or two in her life like that... and so longs to have one like that again. this one admits she can be a handfull or two at times... they train us to be so passionate in love and serving, it also stands to reason we're gonna be passionate about the opposite emotions. she is strong willed, and outspoken, especially about injustices she sees happening around her. she's been known to get in the face of a mother who slaps her child in the middle of a public place for example. and sometimes she isn't so tactful about expressing herself. One word from Master will generally bring her back under his control easily enough though. she needs that rein, she depends on it, it's her rock and solace. <smiles softly> A girl is embarrassed to admit she dressed down a potential Master just this morning... she had been talking to him a couple of weeks with the email tag thing... and he just seemed sooooo hung up on physical appearances, implying that this one would be left at home to cook and clean while he went out with others who were more physically attractive than she.... Grrrrrrrrrrs... she told him that if he wished an empty headed "trophy" girl, he best look someplace else, for the creator granted her intelligence, not the jet setting looks, and she is grateful she has what she has. she also said a few choice words about his own potential appearance. <giggles> she's never seen a pic of him. ada

SirDominic -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/10/2007 8:09:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RPdom SirDominic It may be true that most Masters enjoy inflicting pain however a Master secure in who they are shouldn’t need to inflict pain to achieve submission. I personally get no satisfaction out of another persons suffering however I have no problem administering discipline if needed. I gain much more satisfaction by controlling without pain or intimidation’s. If inflicting pain is merely for your own satisfaction then that is fine, however generally it has little to do with getting a sub or slave to submit. I am often amazed at the responses to my posts. lol. RP, where did I say that most Masters enjoy inflicting pain????? Or that I personally get satisfaction from this? Everything I said was the exact opposite, that I much more enjoy playing mental games with my slave to manipulate her. Sheesh!

SirDominic -> RE: Does Being a Master mean you're also a Sadist? (4/10/2007 8:11:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adanaydi A girl is embarrassed to admit she dressed down a potential Master just this morning... ada No need to be embrarrassed, ada. When someone acts like an ass, they deserve nothing else.

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