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24/7 relationship - 4/7/2007 8:37:34 PM   
MsKatysbitch


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I have been training with my Mistress for some time now and lately I have been craving more of the Domme/sub relationship than we usually do.  We live together already but are not in a 24/7 relationship.  She is also my girlfriend.  My Mistress asked me tonight why I have been craving that relationship more, and if I am ready for 24/7 with Her.  How do I know if I am ready?  Any opinions would be helpful.
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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/7/2007 10:08:31 PM   
MistressDolly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatysbitch

I have been training with my Mistress for some time now and lately I have been craving more of the Domme/sub relationship than we usually do.  We live together already but are not in a 24/7 relationship.  She is also my girlfriend.  My Mistress asked me tonight why I have been craving that relationship more, and if I am ready for 24/7 with Her.  How do I know if I am ready?  Any opinions would be helpful.


is she not dominant in the relationship?

edited to add: hopefully it goes beyond top servicer...

< Message edited by MistressDolly -- 4/7/2007 10:09:30 PM >

(in reply to MsKatysbitch)
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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/7/2007 10:18:04 PM   
mstrj69


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To know if you are ready, first ask her to define 24/7 to you so you will know both are on the same page.  Only then can you answer within yourself if you are ready for it. 

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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/7/2007 10:20:02 PM   
MySweetSubmssive


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I have not been in a 24/7 relationship myself, but my sense is that it *can* be something that you can gradually move into.  It's not necessarily a yes/no thing.  I know that some people negotiate certain areas of control, and then periodically negotiate new areas or deepen the control.  This might be a more gradual way for you include more of the Domme/sub relationship.  Sometimes these things come about with trial and error. 

If you want to know what 24/7 means, you might ask her.  Tell her you don't know.  Ask questions. 

MSS

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/8/2007 12:43:32 AM   
MsCfromMelbourne


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If you already live together and she is already your Mistress (and life partner), I am really curious what more it will take to be "24/7".  Did you ask and can you tell us what she said?




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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/8/2007 1:27:56 AM   
SLAVEBOY32


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MsC, just out of curiosity, am i to understnd that You consider the nature of his current relationship 24/7?  I'm not saying You are right or wrong, was just wondering Your thoughts.  i've had live together relationships with 2 women, who were my girlfriend/Domme. But didn't think it was what most would view as 24/7.

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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/8/2007 3:09:54 AM   
arayofsunshine55


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I have no idea what most would consider 24/7.  For me it is about always making decisions in the areas which matter to me.  And always being deferred to.  Just that simple and yet not so simple.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/8/2007 3:53:07 AM   
cloudboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

I am really curious what more it will take to be "24/7".


Micromanagment?

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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/8/2007 6:19:32 AM   
thetammyjo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrj69

To know if you are ready, first ask her to define 24/7 to you so you will know both are on the same page. Only then can you answer within yourself if you are ready for it.


To go beyond that both of you need to write out a description (as detailed as possible) of what you each thing 24/7 is. Then you can compare.

Be wary of being swayed by fantasies. 24/7 relationships and M/s relationships I have known, live and respected can look very very mundane to anyone outside of the loop or unaware of the subtleties of authority. Most people not in the know just think that Fox and I are a very cute couple where the man is very polite and gentlemanly; those in the loop see my small gestures, his slightly nod and bow, his deference to my words as well.

24/7 only works when it is maintained by both people. In order to maintain it it must be feasible and flexible with some constant rituals or rules. Trying to do too much or be complex often gets tiresome and things can be forgotten which can create a cycle of feeling let down or neglected. You have to find what works for both of you.

_____________________________

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TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/8/2007 8:05:28 AM   
yenlui


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I think, as others have said, that you need to define what changes a 24/7-rel. would require for both of you.
For me, there is no other way to do it, I am always submissive. I also always His girlfriend, His lover, His equal partner, His best friend and so on. And I don't feel that I have to "wear alot of hats" at the same time, all those roles are in "one hat" and that one fits me perfect, even though it's sometimes itchy.

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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/8/2007 7:43:54 PM   
MsCfromMelbourne


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Joined: 2/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SLAVEBOY32

MsC, just out of curiosity, am i to understnd that You consider the nature of his current relationship 24/7?  I'm not saying You are right or wrong, was just wondering Your thoughts.  i've had live together relationships with 2 women, who were my girlfriend/Domme. But didn't think it was what most would view as 24/7.


I cannot tell you what "most" would view as 24/7, but clearly you and your girlfriend did not think you were 24/7, right?  Was that becuase you only did occasional role play in the bedroom? 

What the hell is 24/7 anyway? 

My submissive is also my boyfriend, partner and best friend. 

he has to wear all those hats all at once all the time (24/7). 

he does not spend 24/7 in my house at my beck and call.  he has to go to work (he is in the US for 2 weeks right now on business).

he only ever calls me Mistress (unless we are in public or with his family)

he wears a silver cockband instead of a collar (far less showy, much classier) as his symbol of ownership 24/7

he was given to me by a pro-domme.  That is often how I get really good submissives. The pro-dommes keep their eyes peeled for clean cut, professionaly employed, single men and if they prove themselves genuinly seeking a D/s relationship, flick them my way.  (Digression: Our scene does a good job placing single kinky people.  The senior Mistresses are the best match makers!!!! :)

We are monogamous.  he has no other Dommes and I do not dominate anyone but him. 

However, sometimes when we are, say, cuddled up on the couch watching a movie I forget that I am his owner and Mistress.  I regularly defer to his view on matters in which he has more expertise.  he has....egads....seen me cry and comforted me.  And I must confess that we have .....shock horror....had vanilla sex!!!!  AND we survived!!!!

EVEN I don't know if "most would view" us as 24/7.  It seems to be a label you and your partner adopt. 

Thats why I am interested to know what extra things the OP thinks will make their relationship 24/7 now



< Message edited by MsCfromMelbourne -- 4/8/2007 7:53:14 PM >


_____________________________

<----- Corset, mask and collar designed and manufactured by metalsmith Karl H, chromed and lined in black suede. Masks and collars available from http://www.lucreziadesade.com.au/default.html. Corsets custom made only

(in reply to SLAVEBOY32)
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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/8/2007 8:58:18 PM   
SLAVEBOY32


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Joined: 2/26/2007
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interesting, substitue  necklace for cockband, our occassional vanilla sex happend maybe once every 6 months in a  5 year relationship, and the result would be that the relationship i was in mirrored Yours. never did the whole contract thing, never layed down too many ground rules, but there were a few. Made it a pretty special night when She gave me the necklace, but nothing ritualistic or anything. i more considered it a relationship that i got dominated in whenever we were intimate. i don't much care if it was what others classify as 24/7, i just never viewed Ours as such.  But after reading your comment, it made me wonder if maybe others would have.

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
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RE: 24/7 relationship - 4/25/2007 5:04:46 PM   
Nikko1962


Posts: 31
Joined: 2/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsCfromMelbourne

quote:

ORIGINAL: SLAVEBOY32

MsC, just out of curiosity, am i to understnd that You consider the nature of his current relationship 24/7?  I'm not saying You are right or wrong, was just wondering Your thoughts.  i've had live together relationships with 2 women, who were my girlfriend/Domme. But didn't think it was what most would view as 24/7.


I cannot tell you what "most" would view as 24/7, but clearly you and your girlfriend did not think you were 24/7, right?  Was that becuase you only did occasional role play in the bedroom? 

What the hell is 24/7 anyway? 

My submissive is also my boyfriend, partner and best friend. 

he has to wear all those hats all at once all the time (24/7). 

he does not spend 24/7 in my house at my beck and call.  he has to go to work (he is in the US for 2 weeks right now on business).

he only ever calls me Mistress (unless we are in public or with his family)

he wears a silver cockband instead of a collar (far less showy, much classier) as his symbol of ownership 24/7

he was given to me by a pro-domme.  That is often how I get really good submissives. The pro-dommes keep their eyes peeled for clean cut, professionaly employed, single men and if they prove themselves genuinly seeking a D/s relationship, flick them my way.  (Digression: Our scene does a good job placing single kinky people.  The senior Mistresses are the best match makers!!!! :)

We are monogamous.  he has no other Dommes and I do not dominate anyone but him. 

However, sometimes when we are, say, cuddled up on the couch watching a movie I forget that I am his owner and Mistress.  I regularly defer to his view on matters in which he has more expertise.  he has....egads....seen me cry and comforted me.  And I must confess that we have .....shock horror....had vanilla sex!!!!  AND we survived!!!!

EVEN I don't know if "most would view" us as 24/7.  It seems to be a label you and your partner adopt. 

Thats why I am interested to know what extra things the OP thinks will make their relationship 24/7 now




MsC,
Big validation relief sigh......thanks.

Being at the beck and call of someone 24/7 would be exhausting for me and probably more exhausting for her.  I would expect that she is going to need her private down time, that doesn't explicitly include me.  I hope that when she is at dinner with girlfriends, she is NOT dwelling on me.  I hope she is with them in mind and spirit.  I'll still be there when she comes home.  The best that I could hope for is that they sparked in her a mischievous idea to come home and wake me up to torment me with. :)  If the next day she told me that she missed me the night before, that would be just as good.

For me, the extra thing that would make a relationship 24/7 would be falling in love.  Once this has happened, everything changes.  That doesn't mean that I give up my self esteem, opinions, career, hobbies, etc.  It just means that I have opened the door to all of those things being shared.  Shared can mean vanilla or it can mean that there is an outside "influence" or "guidance".  I like the idea that the relationship is 51/49% in general.  She has the extra 2 shares of voting stock.  The explicit and probably more important, implicit power.  The undercurrent.  When she is in a takeover mood, it's 99/1.  When she is dealing with a difficult co-worker and family situation, then some other dynamic.  I still want to be a partner for her, the classic provider, hero, cliche'.  It's nice to be able to have a conversation based on mutual respect and admiration without the overtone if I say something "wrong" then I'm going to be reprimanded.  When I'm at work, I can't imagine calling her to ask permission to stay late because we had an issue that needs resolving.  I'll call her to let her know what is happening.  Maybe even drop my voice an octave or two to let her know that I will miss being with her.  For me (maybe not for others) without the balance, it's not a "relationship".

_____________________________

Everything you want is on the other side of fear.

If you are going to hide in the haystack from me, at least make a little noise.


http://www.myspace.com/124184605

(in reply to MsCfromMelbourne)
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