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Spike1777 -> RE: male subs wanting female subs to top them. (4/20/2005 10:07:56 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
I can't help you with the question directed to femsubs, but I can speak to your other one.
Domination comes in all flavors. In our circle, you've seen only the loving relationships because that is what we have in our chapter of Club FEm. Not all are that way. Some can appear very destructive to the outsider, with the Domme apparently (and maybe in reality) disrespecting the sub and using him without regard to his needs or feelings. While that seems alien to us, it can be something someone else needs or craves. One of the things we get to do in BDSM is accept other's way of doing things. Someone who feels the need to be locked in the closet and ignored for a period of time may feel very loved by that activity, while it might leave you shaking your head, asking what is wrong with that person. In return, that person might wonder why you DON'T enjoy the closet, but instead prefer to render personal service. We don't have to understand the motivations. As long as people remain in the bounds of Safe, Sane and Consensual, their kink is ok.
Did you enjoy meeting Lady Ahyla the other day? Awesome woman isn't she! Did you realize one of her main fetishes is scat? I may say eww to that fetish, but I highly respect and admire Lady Ahyla. I accept her fetish, even though I'd never be involved in. Just because it isn't my thing, or is something I consider dirty, doesn't make it wrong. Because we're all a little warped in the mind of the vanilla people of the world, we tolerate each others kinks and ways of doing things. This includes things that seem cruel or mean. We are not able to judge the relationship from the outside.
Some Dominants want to be serviced, including sexual fulfillment; some get their pleasure from reducing a submissive to a quivering ball of pain. Some want to control every aspect of the sub's life and yet others want the sub to totally take care of them and see to the Dominant's every need. There are Dominants who get their charge from humiliating men, hurting them and degrading them. Others like the tease, deny and orgasm control route. None of those are going to be a loving relationship unless both parties wish it. You can have a D/s relationship with just friendship or adoration from his side as the foundation. While those would never satisfy me (or you I think) they work wonderfully for some people.
Over the next few days spike, I'd like you to read The Difference between BDSM and Abuse and Stages in the Development of Erotic Power Exchange. Also, scan the Celebrate Male Submission FAQ and see what it has to offer. I think those might help you settle some questions in your mind and bring new ones to the forefront.
Hi Ms Beach
I missed your posting yesterday. I got the cast off of my foot and was scrubing and cleaning my car. it has been sitting for weeks. it is really nice to be mobile. i certainly get a thrill from drving my Posche. peddle to the metal and moving right along. really looks much better after all of the scrubbing.
I have lived a sheltered life, pretty much all of the time that i have been on this planet. I guess that my life within the BDSM community is not any different. Personally i want a loving Female Dominated relationship, but upon reading your post i must agree that there will be many types of relationships within the framework of the BDSM community.
I have been studying hard on this type of relationship. My time being laid up in bed has been well spent. I know soo much more than i did that day G saw me collared and talking to MsL and later walked up and ordered me to take that thing off. She called it cheep, the first collar i ever made (at my fashion designer friends studio) a simple leather collar with studs and a chain attached. Being lead around by a chain was a fantasy which we had discussed. I am glad that the group decided that i was innocent, but i still feel like a worm. Plus the Doc said that my foot is 90% healed.
I just received another text on the subject of FemDomme relationships - "Female Domination: An exploration of the male desire for Loving Female Authority" by Elise Sutton. Here is a link to her Web site: http://www.elisesutton.homestead.com/Main.html
I will certainly read the three articles that you posted, and post my feelings.
I certainly liked meeting Lady Ahyla. We talked a lot during the munch and the play party. She and DB make a cool couple. Actually it was Lady Ahyla who collared me for the evening. Again me on my knees with the collar raised above my head before she firmly attached the collar around my neck followed by a simple bow and a kiss to the top of the foot. I think that scat is one of her favorite fetishes. At the munch i noted to her the way her eyes would light up when she was talking about the subject. She is certainly pertty cool.
spike
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