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Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:00:05 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		I started wondering, because of a thread in the Mistress section..there's this question "Do you want your subs to want you? "
So I started wondering..could you submit to a person without wanting them?
Personally I don't think I couldn't do it.
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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:06:29 AM   
NakedGirlScout


Posts: 370
Joined: 1/10/2006
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Hmm yes, that involuntary submissive reaction thing has happened to me before. It was disquieting and I didn't necessarily follow my instinctive inclinations. Also, I've felt submissive to someone and actually submitted to him on a service-only level without either of us "wanting" the other in the normal sense of the word. That ended up working out very well.

(in reply to MissyRane)
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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:13:24 AM   
curiouslyseeking


Posts: 924
Joined: 1/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

I started wondering, because of a thread in the Mistress section..there's this question "Do you want your subs to want you? "
So I started wondering..could you submit to a person without wanting them?
Personally I don't think I couldn't do it.


Help me understand the context of "wanting"....
 
Does this mean desire or lust for them sexually?...craving a relationship?
 
Respectfully,
~curious~




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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:14:47 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		Are you talking about sexually wanting someone when you submit to them? Then yes, I can submit to someone without wanting them sexually. It happens to me a lot. In fact I'd say 99.9999999% of the time. I am pleased when I have performed a service for someone whether it's cooking a meal or taking a flogger. It generally isn't a major sexual turn on for me to cook a 4- or 5-course meal. But it hits my need to give service and brings me pleasure.

Someday it would be nice to combine the service submission with sexual submission. It just hasn't happened yet.

(in reply to MissyRane)
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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:16:42 AM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		Yes it is possible. There are masters/slaves that have non-sexual relationships.

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:16:55 AM   
BeatMeDaily


Posts: 99
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		yes, i love the dungeon play for what it is by itself.  But i do like more intimate levels of play
too, flexibility is the key.

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:17:08 AM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		I have submitted to someone I didn't want in any other way, meaning I didn't find them really attractive.  I am not sure why it is, but that part of me takes over and I just want to please them.  I have to admit, I much prefer it now when I am not only attracted to him, but in love with him also. 

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:24:26 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline 		Wanting as in longing for the dominant ..doesn't have to be sexually
rephrase..could you submit to someone which you don't particularly like?

I'd have to like them a lot or be in love with them if I were to submit

< Message edited by MissyRane -- 4/8/2007 10:25:22 AM >

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:30:17 AM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I have bottomed to someone I didn't even really know in a dungeon situation, so I can do that. I've cooked a meal for 70 people, many of whom I didn't know, and enjoyed that service for the good of the entire group. To submit completely to someone I didn't really like in a long term relationship? I don't know if I could do that. I've tended to look for someone I had a positive connection with to see if we would be compatible outside of scenes.

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:33:33 AM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		No, I can really only offer submission to either someone I care about  and respect. I  might be able to submit to someone who I've got a casual friendship with, it I know them well enough, but ecen that is debatable.

I'm basically wired in such a way that the emotions tied to submission need to be significant for there to be that trust and ability to open up and make myself vulnerable.


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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 10:38:18 AM   
lockedaway


Posts: 1720
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline 		Personally, i need to be like the person i'm submitting to.  In a relationship, i need to like her, want her, respect her strength and character, etc.  Just submitting to someone for the sake of submission--without even a friendship--leaves me feeling a bit empty.

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 11:08:33 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I could. There are four men that I'd serve if so called and all of them are gay. Kinda negates the sexual service. LOL

Master Fire


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(in reply to MissyRane)
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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 11:58:04 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane
So I started wondering..could you submit to a person without wanting them?

Yes, though I wouldn't choose to be in a long term relationship with them.

I've been ordered to submit to many people in many forms in my tenure as an owned slave.  I did so fine and happily, even if the person was someone I really didn't like or enjoy.  They were my dom for that period and I needed to go with that.

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 12:10:10 PM   
passionateBBs


Posts: 24
Joined: 1/3/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings.....

this question is something i am struggling with in RL...not to Someone without wanting Them but submitting in general...and i was very lucky to have met Someone through collarme that has been wonderful...Wwe have met a couple of times...(rubs her tender bottom) and He has been showing me slowly how to submit again...it has been so long.....i am getting there...slowly but i am getting there...but i do feel in my heart that there is a level that All should be shown...wanting Them or not...it is just the way it is...don't think this was much help, sorry...

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 12:12:52 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		For me personally .....No.......Tempting

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 12:17:02 PM   
wfsubseeking1


Posts: 88
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		There is no way that i could do that.  i would not be able to give my all.

seeking

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 12:38:42 PM   
aidan


Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		No, there has to be some level of attraction present. I may not need the deep, heatfelt relationship (though that is highly preferred!), but I do need to at least like and be attracted to that person.

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 12:46:13 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

I started wondering, because of a thread in the Mistress section..there's this question "Do you want your subs to want you? "
So I started wondering..could you submit to a person without wanting them?
Personally I don't think I couldn't do it.


No I couldn't.
I desire to be in a D/s power exchange relationship emphasizing the emotional and sexual, so desire both ways, to me is a must.
 
Missy. 

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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 12:47:03 PM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		I would not need to have any romantic of lustful desires for the person to submit to them, but I couldn't submit to someone I did not know, and did not like at least as a friend.  To me, submission is all about trust, and without knowing someone and liking them, I could never fully trust them.
But thats just my thought.  And as hot as it is to think of submitting to someone I don't particularly like (but that is very good looking...hey, its my fantasy, alright?), I couldn't do it in real life.

(in reply to aidan)
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RE: Can you submit to a person without wanting them? - 4/8/2007 2:47:13 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I know others do it but it isn't something I would be willing to do. I could perform limited service but I wouldn't consider that submission. And I would not be willing to constantly extend the amount of service.

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
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