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10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 4:38:57 PM   
FirmhandKY


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In the spirit of the methods and concerns about global warming that many are trying to address, on this Easter holiday, treasure and I offer 10 almost scientific-like methods to very likely help eliminate or strongly suggest workable ways to reduce global warming:

Enjoy! 

1. Eat more beef and pork.

2.  Turn on your air conditioner and leave your windows and doors open.

3. Pave over swamplands with asphalt and paint it white.  (For example the Everglades give off tons of methane a year which is at least 21 times a more dangerous greenhouse gas than CO2.).  The asphalt locks down carbon, the white paint reflects heat into outer space, and the loss of methane from wetlands will all lower the earth's temperature.

4.  Throw more virgins into volcanoes (this both reduces the human population, and appeases the volcano gods - or Gaia whichever you may prefer ... ).

5.  Start more wars to reduce the human population (oops, we are doing that now, aren't we?).

6. Socialize health care to reduce the effectiveness of modern medicine, and reduce the average lifespan of the remaining human population.

7.  Encourage more abortions (for the same reasons listed above).

8. Encourage the use of large, low mileage vehicles.  This will accelerate the use of oil based energy sources, and since we will hit Peak Oil Production sooner, this will force governments to take action (of course, the Peak Oil year has been projected since the late 1970s, but I've been promised that it will REALLY be here soon ...)

9. Burn down the Amazon and other major forests to compact their stored carbon into charcoal.  Activated charcoal absorbs water vapor (the worst green house gas).  Then bury the charcoal with all it's dangerous moisture in a big hole.  Replant the forest to draw further CO2 out the atmosphere. Rinse, lather, and repeat. (This has a further advantage of causing the buried charcoal to eventually turn into liquefied carbon compounds i.e oil, thereby replenishing a vanishing natural resource).

10.  Legislate the use of "dry ice" (frozen CO2) as the only legal means of cooling and freezing.  This removes large amounts of CO2 from the atmosphere, reduces to zero all fluorocarbons (which are worst than CO2 as a greenhouse gas).  As a last ditch measure, use dry ice to stop the melting of the world's ice sheets and glaciers.

11. Eliminate all air pollution controls except for CO2.  This will allow the sky to darken, and cause a greater reflection of solar radiation to outer space, therefore a reduction in the Earth's overall temperature.

Please ... feel free to add your own suggestions.  Working together, we believe that we can all make the world a better place!

FirmKY
and
Treasure

p.s.  We hereby donate these ideas to the public domain and retain no copyright on them.

< Message edited by FirmhandKY -- 4/8/2007 4:40:56 PM >

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 4:55:14 PM   
popeye1250


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They have a new term for Bozos like those two; "Gulfstream Liberals."

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 5:00:14 PM   
Sinergy


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Status: offline 		I live in a large metropolis in Southern California that gets most of it's water piped in from the Colorado River.

So my suggestion is for everybody who lives here to water down the sidewalk and street in front of our houses as often as possible.  This will both cause evaporative cooling and the water will reflect heat back into outer space.

Sinergy

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 5:22:16 PM   
FirmhandKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

I live in a large metropolis in Southern California that gets most of it's water piped in from the Colorado River.

So my suggestion is for everybody who lives here to water down the sidewalk and street in front of our houses as often as possible.  This will both cause evaporative cooling and the water will reflect heat back into outer space.

Sinergy


Excellent suggestion, Sinergy! 

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 5:56:58 PM   
RobertCloud


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Status: offline 		I live in the Adirondacks..
When we get heavy snowfalls they load Dump Trucks full of snow and carry them to baseball fields and pile the extra snow there. Then when it melts we get flooding. Instead of doing that they should get the large refrigerated semi dumptrucks to transport the excess snow to the Gulf of Mexico and dump it there. That would lower the temperature of the water there and eventually lower the temperature of the water worldwide.

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 6:33:18 PM   
missturbation


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Status: offline 		Firm, one of us can't count
10? 11?
 
 

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 6:38:12 PM   
FirmhandKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

Firm, one of us can't count
10? 11?


hehe ... miss ... I did say "In the spirit of the methods and concerns about global warming" ...  

FirmKY

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 6:40:11 PM   
Rule


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Status: offline 		It is well known that fountains and rains cause local cooling. It is also known that power plants have a large amount of waste heat. My suggestion is to demolish all power plants and to rebuild them at the bottom of the oceans. Their large amount of waste heat will now not uselessly radiate out into space, but will heat the oceans, causing increased evaporation and consequently increased rainfall. The rain will cause cooling of the Earth.

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 6:41:16 PM   
FirmhandKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RobertCloud

I live in the Adirondacks..
When we get heavy snowfalls they load Dump Trucks full of snow and carry them to baseball fields and pile the extra snow there. Then when it melts we get flooding. Instead of doing that they should get the large refrigerated semi dumptrucks to transport the excess snow to the Gulf of Mexico and dump it there. That would lower the temperature of the water there and eventually lower the temperature of the water worldwide.


Darn!  Why didn't I think of that!

Truck all the excess snow down to the oceans!  Cooling them off will lower the specific gravity of the water, thereby lower the overall sea level!

Brilliant, Robert Cloud!  Absolutely BRILLIANT!

FirmKY

< Message edited by FirmhandKY -- 4/8/2007 6:43:21 PM >

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 6:53:11 PM   
FirmhandKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

It is well known that fountains and rains cause local cooling. It is also known that power plants have a large amount of waste heat. My suggestion is to demolish all power plants and to rebuild them at the bottom of the oceans. Their large amount of waste heat will now not uselessly radiate out into space, but will heat the oceans, causing increased evaporation and consequently increased rainfall. The rain will cause cooling of the Earth.


Very good idea, Rule.  But might I suggest a small alteration?

Instead of the electric plants being underwater, why not have them floating on the top, with heat exchange systems deep in the ocean?

This will cause an additional upwelling of cold water to the top of the oceans, lowering the ambient surface temperature, and causing additional fog which will prevent the sun from reheating the surface?

Acceptable?



FirmKY


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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 8:52:43 PM   
HydroMaster


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Status: offline 		hmm, I say we slaughter the bovine menace so they stop blaming my suv.

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 9:46:06 PM   
Sinergy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RobertCloud

I live in the Adirondacks..
When we get heavy snowfalls they load Dump Trucks full of snow and carry them to baseball fields and pile the extra snow there. Then when it melts we get flooding. Instead of doing that they should get the large refrigerated semi dumptrucks to transport the excess snow to the Gulf of Mexico and dump it there. That would lower the temperature of the water there and eventually lower the temperature of the water worldwide.


I think we should have illegal immigrants who want a job row it on covered rowboats to the polar ice caps, which, as you know, require more snow.

Kills two stones with one bird.  Jobs for illegals and ice cap maintenance.

Sinergy

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 10:24:15 PM   
ElectraGlide


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Status: offline 		Put a muzzle on Rosie O'Donnel because the hot air coming out of her mouth has to be reaming the ozone layer a major new hole.

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/8/2007 11:07:13 PM   
ElectraGlide


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Status: offline 		I just e-mailed my global warming idea to Bill O'Reilly. I hope it reads it on the air about putting a muzzle on that pumpkin head O'Donnell.

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/9/2007 3:18:44 AM   
Sanity


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Status: offline 		Put all the big city Liberals to work (on chain gangs if needed) damming every available river, and then use that dam water to convert all the unused wilderness areas the world over into irrigated farmland for raising for bio fuel crops. Think of it, all the land under Yellowstone is just going to waste, as are millions and millions of other unused acres the world over. Now is no time to be selfish, we must think of the children!!!

< Message edited by Sanity -- 4/9/2007 3:23:45 AM >

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/9/2007 3:25:58 AM   
Rule


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Status: offline 		Throw a couple of nuclear bombs on Yellowstone. If we are lucky, this will cause the supervolcano underneath to erupt. The ashes and debris ejected into the stratosphere will block the sunlight and thus cause the temperature on Earth to drop by many degrees.

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/9/2007 6:39:52 PM   
FirmhandKY


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Status: offline 		You know ... this thread really doesn't belong in "Polls and Random Stupidity".  It's political satire.

Would the mod's consider returning it to it's rightful place in "Off Topic"?

FirmKY


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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/9/2007 9:59:35 PM   
N4SDChastity


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Status: offline 		Why not simply erect several strategically placed GI-NORMOUS umbrelii (that IS the proper plurl form uv umbrella, right?) around the equator?

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/10/2007 2:36:54 PM   
submissive1


Posts: 7
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Status: offline 		Following the lead of  Al Gore, since he's obviously the most informed on this subject. We could all pool our money and buy a whole bunch of carbon offsets to make the problem go away.
I'll hold the money.

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RE: 10 Ways to Reduce or Eliminate Global Warming - 4/10/2007 7:05:39 PM   
FirmhandKY


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quote:

ORIGINAL: submissive1

Following the lead of  Al Gore, since he's obviously the most informed on this subject. We could all pool our money and buy a whole bunch of carbon offsets to make the problem go away.

I'll hold the money.


uh ... that's what Algore is already doing, sub1.

Really!

FirmKY


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