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Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 9:24:14 AM

crouchingtigress

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from wikipedia: A game is a structured or semi-structured activity, usually undertaken for enjoyment and sometimes also used as an educational tool. (The term "game" is also used to describe simulation of various activities e.g., for the purposes of training, analysis or prediction,Games are generally distinct from work, which is usually carried out for remuneration, and from art, which is more concerned with the expression of ideas. However, the distinction is not clear-cut, and many games may also be considered work and/or art. Key components of games are goals, rules, challenge, and interactivity. Games generally involve mental or physical stimulation, and often both. Many games help develop practical skills, serve as a form of exercise, or otherwise perform an educational, simulational or psychological role.
Known to have been played as far back as prehistoric times, games are a universal part of the human experience, for all cultures, genders and ages.

my questions:

              what is so threatening referring to the bdsm lifestyle as a game?

              why cant it be a highly complex game, that you play your whole life?

              how does it being a game, devalue the person, and the persons experience of it?

             is the fear that if you call it a game, does that mean you cant be taken seriously?
.
i suppose it could also be a religion :

A religion is a set of beliefs and practices generally held by a human community, involving adherence to codified beliefs and rituals and study of ancestral or cultural traditions, writings, history, and mythology, as well as personal faith and mystic experience. The term "religion" refers to both the personal practices related to communal faith and to group rituals and communication stemming from shared conviction.
All patriarchal religions present a common quality, the "hallmark of patriarchal religious thought": the division of the world in two comprehensive domains, one sacred, the other profane. [1] Religion is often described as a communal system for the coherence of belief focusing on a system of thought, unseen being, person, or object, that is considered to be supernatural, sacred, divine, or of the highest truth. Moral codes, practices, values, institutions, tradition, rituals, and scriptures are often traditionally associated with the core belief, and these may have some overlap with concepts in secular philosophy. Religion is also often described as a "way of life".

curious to hear your thoughts?

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 9:30:06 AM

daddysprop247

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personally i would never appreciate my way of life being referred to as a "game" because it does not fit the definition of such, and the connotation and meaning of the word "game" imply something undertaken for fun, generally lighthearted, and something separate from real life.

"religion" would be a closer definition, tho i wouldn't use that either, it at least implies a way of life based on a particular belief system, without the connotations of fun and lightheartedness.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 9:36:45 AM

SusanofO

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I think it could be thought of as either one, I don't see why not, really. Neither of those would offend me, if someone was just kind of philosophically viewing how to see bdsm or D/s.

I know I personally have limits as far as anyone getting really "fundamentalist" about anything (if they were going to treat it as a fundamentalist, one-twue-way "religion" for instance). I appreciate open-mindedness, as far as viewing other people's approaches (and kind of think that open-mindedness was what you were referring to, actually).

"Game" connotes fun to me, and since role-playing is involved in bdsm and obviously D/s, (for some on a deeper, more consistent level than for others) I don't see a problem for myself there, either, really (as long as there is still room to drop the "roles" when it seems appropriate, and a partner would see me as a person first and foremost, and value my feelings.

Wow, great topic!
- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/11/2007 9:45:18 AM >

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 9:43:45 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Game also tends to bring up feelings of manipulation and as if it's not the depth or root of the situation.

I embrace games and play within my life because I really like having fun and enjoying myself. I also know that it in no way whatsoever takes away from the depth of my life- in fact I find it adds more texture and vibrancy.

It's part of why I love pop culture. It's pointless, mindless, ultimately does nothing really to enhance my life practically- but it's fun, it's curiousity, it's creativity, it's self and social awareness and observation.

And frankly I enjoy noting that a dress on Beyonce looks pretty good while the same dress on Rachel McAdams looks stunning.

I'm just the type of person to embrace idiosyncracies and oppositions, so in order to enjoy the depth and truthiness of something, I also must enjoy it's empty calories elements as well.

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 9:49:07 AM

juliaoceania

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Many people see life as one big game... I have not decided if it is or not

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 9:50:13 AM

crouchingtigress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

personally i would never appreciate my way of life being referred to as a "game" because it does not fit the definition of such, and the connotation and meaning of the word "game" imply something undertaken for fun, generally lighthearted, and something separate from real life.

"religion" would be a closer definition, tho i wouldn't use that either, it at least implies a way of life based on a particular belief system, without the connotations of fun and lightheartedness.

chess is not light hearted or fun...games dont have to be...many are for learning and sharpening themselves

separate from real life....there you might have a point....except then i find myself asking...why cant real life be lighthearted and fun?....and ....and what is real life?

we are co creators of our destiny, much as some would like to play victim and take no responsibility for how they are and what happens to them....we all are the only one, who is responsible for what happens to us...even if it was us that made the decision to abdicate that responsibility ...we still made the decision.

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 9:50:57 AM

gypsygrl

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I never had a problem with comparing things to a game, and I use the metaphor alot. I do think it applies. The only thing is that my goal isn't to win, but to keep the game going as long as possible. Winning ends the game, which is pretty much the same as ruining it.

I use the metaphor for other parts of my life...pretty much anything that has a clearly defined structure and implicit rules governing interaction. I always ge t really upset with myself when I break one of the implicit rules because it means I'm not playing well. And, playing well is important to me.

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 9:58:11 AM

crouchingtigress

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i am torn too...not that i have to put a lable on it...but just like LA is facinated with beyonces dress i sometimes get in to a place where i need to look at things from the out side looking in.

i think what came up for me is the idea that we give words so much power.

i think that calling it a relgion or a game, squicks people because of thier own negative experiances...more then anything else, and to me it amazing to watch that defensivness and fear that folks fear when they think you think you are attacking them....and all you have said is what it is like for you.

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:01:26 AM

crouchingtigress

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i am one of those people...it is the only thing that makes sense to me...that we are here to learn, and how we humans and how all the animals in the animal kindom learn is through games...

what are we here (on earth ) to learn? if you ask me, it is to understand how trully powerful we are, that we can have anything we desire, that our minds can litterally open any door...and that we are the ones that stop ourselves from this inherant greatness....and we are the only ones who know why.

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:04:10 AM

crouchingtigress

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texture and vibrancy...yes that is it exactly!

why not create a life that is as rich and dynamic and satiating as you want it to be....thats my thought...i understand that to some folks games mean deceit and manipulation, but that is the person playing the game not the game it self...

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:05:19 AM

crouchingtigress

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gypy...can you share what one of those implicit rules are....?

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:05:25 AM

dawntreader

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

chess is not light hearted or fun...games dont have to be...many are for learning and sharpening themselves

separate from real life....there you might have a point....except then i find myself asking...why cant real life be lighthearted and fun?....and ....and what is real life?

we are co creators of our destiny, much as some would like to play victim and take no responsibility for how they are and what happens to them....we all are the only one, who is responsible for what happens to us...even if it was us that made the decision to abdicate that responsibility ...we still made the decision.

i absolutely embrace what you have just stated here!!!!
j

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:10:30 AM

MstrssPassion

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Many people see life as one big game... I have not decided if it is or not

does that work with the idea that s/he who dies with the most toys wins?

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:11:47 AM

crouchingtigress

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lol....i never thought of that in a D/s context....

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:15:05 AM

Devilslilsister

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Life is a game and almost everything can be a game. i play games all the time with myself. = ) Like my "patience game"

all sorts of games out there. Some of them bad, some of them good. All depends on how you play them and to what end.

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:25:32 AM

Padriag

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Short answers

Because for many, the term game also has the connotation of something not taken seriously, not being "real". For example, many games are played primarily for amusement. Some games are played primarily as a teaching exercise (such military war games), but are mock experiences. Thus many do not consider life a "game" because they take it very seriously, it has real and permanent consequences.

As for religion, for some of us this style of life has no "mystical" aspect, there is no "spiritual" component, there is no "bondage god" nor is it viewed as a means of reaching "the divine", so it could not be considered a religion.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:29:28 AM

crouchingtigress

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great point about consequenses padriag.

no mystical aspect?...none?

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:33:09 AM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

separate from real life....there you might have a point....except then i find myself asking...why cant real life be lighthearted and fun?....and ....and what is real life?

Sometimes life is light and fun. But when that becomes its chief purpose, its goal, then I think you are headed for trouble. Life is not always light or fun... and those somber moments, those heavy moments are at least as important. Some of the finest moments in human history occurred precisely when life became least fun, least light. I look around and see a world increasingly pursuing only the light and fun and I find is saccharin and unpalatable. A steady diet of such sugars cannot be healthy, we need our bitters too.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:35:32 AM

daddysprop247

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

"Game" connotes fun to me, and since role-playing is involved in bdsm and obviously D/s, (for some on a deeper, more consistent level than for others) I don't see a problem for myself there, either, really (as long as there is still room to drop the "roles" when it seems appropriate, and a partner would see me as a person first and foremost, and value my feelings.

why do you feel that roleplaying is automatically involved in bdsm or D/s? trust me, for many of us role play has no place in our lifestyles.

(in reply to SusanofO)

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RE: Just Thinking.... - 4/11/2007 10:37:53 AM

crouchingtigress

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quote:

we need our bitters too.

life is always going to give us lemons....and the way i look at it is, its up to us, not just to turn it into lemonade, but how sweet we want it to be too.

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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

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"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to Padriag)

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