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Female Supremecy problems - 4/11/2007 2:26:57 PM

mysteryshopper

Posts: 36
Joined: 9/18/2006
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so I'm a young male and am thrilled with the idea of a dominant woman. In play, the idea of a woman wanting to be the dominant one, the idea of women hurting men to achieve their higher status, is extremely attractive. However, in practice, in a relationship, I take a rather Patriarcal role.
So...is it wrong to be so "hypocritial" ?
I mean, sexually it is very attractive to have a domme; I would let her put me in chastity, tied up, etc.
But that is behind closed doors. But as far as making more money, or actually calling the shots, things are different...

Is that bad?

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RE: Female Supremecy problems - 4/11/2007 2:32:20 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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You re a bedroom sub, not a lifestyle one. Is it wrong? No. It is just yet another flavor in the many out there. You arent interested in ebeing completely submissive to a woman, you are interested in being sexualy submissive. And there are plenty of people who are interested in that.
However, unless I missed something somewhere, making more money has nothing to do with supremecy. I enjoy my work and even though it doesnt make a fortune I dont plan on changing that. That doesnt mean someone who is with me who is a female supremecist is less so if they make more than I do. Its the attitude, knowing I am the superior one, that matter. Not who brings in what money. Now, you want to call the shots in the relationsip, tats where you fal fro being sub.
Just find someone who has the same views as you. Dominant in the bedroom and willing to let you tae the reigns elsewhere.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

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VampiresLair

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RE: Female Supremecy problems - 4/11/2007 2:45:49 PM

DawnFire

Posts: 78
Joined: 3/17/2007
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Not bad, just make sure you let people know you're a "sexual" sub, could cause some issues if you don't. (Had to part ways with a really great guy for that reason).

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RE: Female Supremecy problems - 4/11/2007 3:32:34 PM

mysteryshopper

Posts: 36
Joined: 9/18/2006
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Dawnfire, what happened if you don't mind me asking?

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RE: Female Supremecy problems - 4/11/2007 4:04:40 PM

DawnFire

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Joined: 3/17/2007
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*Wonders where the proper place to post that is... shrugs*

I'll post an update on my original message. Thanks for asking.

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RE: Female Supremecy problems - 4/11/2007 4:11:48 PM

lockedaway

Posts: 1720
Joined: 3/15/2007
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i agree with You that making money doesn't equal supremacy. But, by the same token, it is hard to convey the image of being supreme if Your life is a complete mess. If a submissive is constantly (key word is constantly) having to ride in the the calvary to straighten out an issue in his Domme's life, Her aura of spremacy is going to get more than a little smudged. Everyone is vulnerable and a good sub should be able to rise to the occasion and take up slack without it changing the dynamic of the relationship.

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RE: Female Supremecy problems - 4/11/2007 4:39:39 PM

Lashra

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Joined: 2/9/2006
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You are a bedroom sub and frankly I do think you would have trouble getting along with a truly <yes I used that word> dominant female. I should know, I am one. I like to be on control and the includes handling the money etc.
You need a submissive outside of the bedroom and a top in the bedroom.
However I am not a female supremist, I do not think either gender is supreme.

Good Luck,
~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

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RE: Female Supremecy problems - 4/11/2007 6:52:43 PM

pixelslave

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Joined: 8/19/2006
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To add to what the others have said, being submissive doesn't necessarily mean you give up the right to make any decisions in your life or relationship. Depending upon the Mistress, many things are negotiable and aren't always just "her way or the highway". In my experience, there are many dominant women who are looking for partners, not just men who will blindly follow their instructions. They seek their advice and council and are looking for a man who can make decisions on his own when needed or where expertise is shown. After all, think of the disasters that would befall the household if a Mistress should became quite ill and her sub didn't know how to make decisions on his own! In some relationships, important decisions are made jointly and others are made by subject split in some manner between the two. It all depends upon the relationship and how the two of you have defined it.

With that said, while many have referred to you as a "bedroom submissive", it's also been my experience, that the more sexually submissive one becomes, the more generally submissive to a partner they also are likely to tend to behave with time. So you may start out as being primarily sexually submissive now, but a wise and intelligent woman, will know how to use that sex drive of yours to motivate or entice you to become more submissive toward her in many other ways as well.

Once you're submissive toward her in the bedroom, you may find it also becomes difficult to turn that mindset off in other parts of your relationship as well.

Best of luck to you in sorting this out for yourself, as only you and your partner can really know and decide how you'd like things to be.

- pixel

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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

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RE: Female Supremecy problems - 4/12/2007 7:35:42 PM

TigressFL

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Joined: 6/8/2006
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It is not "wrong", you just have to find someone that wants to have that type of relationship with you.

Good luck!

Tigress~FL

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RE: Female Supremecy problems - 4/12/2007 7:44:41 PM

Mysti

Posts: 125
Joined: 6/13/2006
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The other ladies here have said it better than I could. Most Dommes are Domme across the board. Dominant in everything from what end of the whip theyre on to money, etc. I dont mean this is a rude or disrespectful way, but perhaps a pro is what you need. Or a casual type relationship where youre not romanticly involved, merely play partners. My personal take would be if you were My sub, youre My sub all the way, Just because were done playing doesnt mean you get to be in charge and tell Me what to do money wise and other decision wise. I'd crop your ass red before kicking it out of My house. I'm all for a balnaced relationship so long as the scales tip in My favor

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RE: Female Supremecy problems - 4/12/2007 8:07:51 PM

Najakcharmer

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Nope, it's not a problem as long as you are up front and honest about your desires in a relationship. Some (well, probably a lot of) dominant women will not be interested in that kind of relationship. But some may be, as long as you are not a chauvinistic asshole or overly controlling.

Alternatively, try looking for a switch? You may be able to put together a good relationship where you agree to trade off being dominant in different areas of your lives together.

Ultimately it's up to you and your partner to negotiate what works for both of you, and your honesty is a good start.

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