RE: Do you... (Full Version)

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curiouslyseeking -> RE: Do you... (4/11/2007 8:43:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: D1979

I may not. we will see. I am fully aware of the consequences of releasing control, even temporarily. Thank You


Greetings D1979,
 
May I ask what your hopeful expectations are of this thread?
 
Always,
~curious~



minnetar -> RE: Do you... (4/11/2007 9:36:47 PM)

Sir if she is seeking this then this girl thinks she will not come back.

minnetar



D1979 -> RE: Do you... (4/12/2007 4:35:37 AM)

I honestly had no hopeful expectations, just kind of threw it out there to see what I would get. And honestly, I got exactly what I thought I would get.


D



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Do you... (4/12/2007 4:49:18 AM)

If you give her to someone else to further her training, she will be trained to follow them.  What you are setting yourself up for is a disaster.  You now get her back (assuming she returns) with someone elses rules trained into her.  You can either follow another masters rules, or you can attempt to retrain her which you were unable to do the first time which was why you gave her up.  If you two are a bad fit, which is what it sounds like, than you are best staying separated and finding someone who can be content with the training you are able to offer. But allowing someone else to train your slave is not like allowing someone else to train your dog. A dog gets a standard set of instructions and things everyone wants them to do. If thats all you want of your slave than thats what you are going to get.  Someone brilliantly able to do generic things that benefit no one specifically. In order for her to serve YOU you have to train her to do so.  No one else can do that.

Good luck
DV



BBBTBW -> RE: Do you... (4/12/2007 4:57:23 AM)

Learning while doing might be your best bet in retaining your sub afterward.  MasterFireMaam said it best.  She wasn't telling you to be a mentor, she was telling you to be a student with a mentor.  While she is finding her soul, you take the time with her and whomever you are lending her to to learn how to train and see if it is something you want.  Allowing her to train via another person's style is not going to help you train her in the long run if you don't know how to train.    

For the record, 27 is no where near late in the game.  Some of us don't get started until we are in our 50's and 60's.



D1979 -> RE: Do you... (4/12/2007 5:13:43 AM)

Thank You so much.

D



MstrssPassion -> RE: Do you... (4/12/2007 5:39:37 AM)

after reading over the OP's posts a couple times it really looks like the situation is this:

she wants & is going to play the field while she LET'S you believe you still have control.



julietsierra -> RE: Do you... (4/12/2007 5:52:20 AM)

I'm reminded of a friend of mine, when faced with a dominant that just wouldn't/couldn't see the light so to speak. She wanted out but didn't want to hurt him. He didn't want to let her go and did everything in his power to get her to stay. Evidently he really believed that if she wanted to go and he didn't want her to, that she'd stay.

So...she suggested they take six months to figure out what they wanted.

He agreed to "temporarily release" her for six months. He actually held on to hope for all six of those months and then some.

She forgot him in one (if that long).

juliet



SirDominic -> RE: Do you... (4/12/2007 6:31:57 AM)

Obviously I don't know you, don't know a thing about you, so I could be way off the mark. Your words suggest that you want her off of your hands for awhile for your needs, not hers. You seem very conflicted about your relationship with her, where it has gone and if it has any future. Handing her off to another Dom for a time gives you the breathing space to decide what it is you want.

I may not be reading you right, and if not just ignore. If I am, time to come clean and ask what is really on your mind if you are really interested in getting useful advice.

Namaste, Sir Dominic



Devilslilsister -> RE: Do you... (4/12/2007 6:51:10 AM)

i second what Dominic said - thats excatly what it sounds like.

to answer the OP's question........ sounds like a can of worms, but could be a good can of worms.  who knows?



Kinkypupper -> RE: Do you... (4/12/2007 9:04:35 AM)

I think its a way good idea to find your sub a new home



Valyraen -> RE: Do you... (4/13/2007 3:36:17 AM)

Absolutely, unequivocally no. Aqua is the most wonderful thing that's happened to me in a long, long time, and I'd rather lop off a limb than give her up. That said... the lifestyle for us is a learning experience, and we've been making that journey together. I think that, in this context, it's that journey that is important, not the end result.



arayofsunshine55 -> RE: Do you... (4/13/2007 7:20:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: D1979

Do you think that releasing your sub to someone who is more experienced than You temporarliy will give them some release and make them more succeptible to accepting Your training long term? Or is it a can of worms best to left unopened??

thank you D

Human beings come in all different ilks, with different needs and skill sets. What is possible for one may not be possible for another. So I could answer yest to your question and you would still have no better idea if she could do it.  As to the rest?  I don't find my should through WIITWD so I can't really comment.  you say you are fully aware of the consequences but that seems to belie the reason for the initial post in the first place.  At your age you can always start over again.  Doesn't hurt to try and learn from whatever happens.



Faramir -> RE: Do you... (4/13/2007 8:27:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: D1979

she is looking for release, not training. she wants to see her soul, with no regard to attaching. I can give it to her, but not immediately. that is My predicament. I am late in My explorations. but My explorations are becoming enthralling.


Holy fuck--where do you people come from???

That ain't your predicament, sunshine.



MadRabbit -> RE: Do you... (4/14/2007 4:43:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: D1979

Do you think that releasing your sub to someone who is more experienced than You temporarliy will give them some release and make them more succeptible to accepting Your training long term? Or is it a can of worms best to left unopened??

thank you D


Do you think letting your girlfriend leave you to be in a relationship with someone else would form a stronger and healthier relationship when she came back to you? (If she came back).

I also think you are very new to this and need to pull your head out of the clouds and get grounded a bit more in reality.



Celeste43 -> RE: Do you... (4/14/2007 3:21:03 PM)

Well, if she wants out, there isn't anything you can do about it. But if he released me, I would never come back. I would never trust him not to kick me out again.



Elorin -> RE: Do you... (4/14/2007 7:27:40 PM)

I met a couple brand new to the lifestyle, and the female submissive was right into it. As soon as they found BDSM as a way of life, she knew where she was and what she needed. Things that had been half formed desires in her mind up until then became WHAM needs as soon as she had the validation that ~others do this too~.

In the meantime, he was struggling with the conflicts with societal upbringing that say be sensitive, be polite, be caring, yada yada yada. A very ethical and loving man, he was struggling with the concept of not only hurting his wife, but hurting her intentionally and  then LIKING IT.

As a partial solution, she became my submissive. While he was coming to terms with dominance, sadism, and taking control without feeling guilty for it, I was able to provide her with control, S&M, and provide both of them with education and direction. She was my submissive for 18 months, but really I could have released her at 9 months, as he was completely ready at that point to be what she needed. The reason the relationship lasted longer was a case of mutual love and respect, and my submissive being bisexual and enjoying the dynamic she got with me that he would never be able to provide (that of another woman).

Suggesting that you release your sub sounds hasty. Acknowledging that you are coming into your own, and she needs more than you can give right now doesn't. Talk with her and find out what she needs. Possibly a situation like I was in will be able to satisfy you both and give you the time to come to terms with whatever you need to deal with.

Good luck

~Ms. Elorin



D1979 -> RE: Do you... (4/14/2007 9:20:21 PM)

Now I know why I posted this thread. Thank You. It will not take that many months though, I am sure.



Elorin -> RE: Do you... (4/15/2007 8:07:45 AM)

Happy to be of help. ~curtseys and blows a kiss~



notlooking2 -> RE: Do you... (4/15/2007 10:39:52 AM)

From this sub's point of view.  I will respect a man who is able to voice his doubts, I won't respect a man who will hand me of to someone else to do his work for him. 



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